Evan Kessler Dot Com

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Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

…State Farm is There

Posted by evankessler on April 14, 2011

This photo essay is the follow up to a previous post entitled, “Like A Good Neighbor…” It has been made possible by Mile End Delicatessen in Boerum Hill;  Mile End Delicatessen, they’ve got the whole mishpucha.


Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there…with some poutine.



Welcome to Mile End Delicatessen in the Heart of Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

The Poutine sounds good, I'll have that!

Where is this Poutine I've heard so much about? Not having it makes me sad.

What has two thumbs and a dish of Poutine? This guy!

Seriously, how delicious does that Poutine look?

Let Me At It!

So...full...of...poutine...good neighbor...

Posted in Advertising, Brooklyn, food, humor, Internet, Social Media | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Like A Good Neighbor…

Posted by evankessler on April 12, 2011

Since the tail end of 2010, State Farm Insurance has bombarded millions of viewers, myself include, with a series of absurd commercials that feature people getting free stuff because of a “magic jingle.”  They seem to pop up during every sporting event commercial break or commercial break during my favorite network shows just to pick at my last nerve. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then just observe below:


Now besides being equally grating whether you’re seeing these ads for the 1st or 281st time, my main point of contention lies not with the stabby feeling I get everytime I hear that woman say “with a new boyfriend” while waiting for the top of the 4th inning to start, rather it’s the fact that these commercials seem like a gross misrepresentation of what an insurance company does.

After all, you can’t just call on an insurance company and they’ll magically make a hot tub or sandwich appear. Or can you?

Over the past few days my main point of contention with the State Farm campaign has been put to the test thanks to an interaction over Twitter. It all began with one innocent tweet while watching the Mets game, a knee jerk reaction to seeing a commercial I loathe for what felt like the 342,000th time. I was compelled to lightly harangue the brand via tweet with the most bizarre request imaginable.

Now, I do not know why I chose Poutine, but the bizarre request sparked a conversation between myself and the brand that played out over the span of nearly a week and a half. It went as follows:

So there it was, a 21 tweet long interaction (or 20 if you count the one about the Latin Billboard awards that wasn’t directed to me at all) between myself and State Farm Insurance. I didn’t think much would come of it. I thought it would go on a bit longer and maybe result in some poutine, but probably not. That is, until I received a Direct Message via twitter from Mile End Deli on Hoyt St. in Brooklyn notifiying me that State Farm had given me a credit at their establishment.

I’m still quite flabbergasted by the result of all of that silly tweeting, but I have a new found respect for the folks at State Farm Insurance; not just because they’re picking up my tab for Poutine, but because of the fact that even though their commercials are a bit ridiculous, they’re going the extra mile to back up their brand claims and interact with potential customers all the while maintaining a healthy sense of humor. State Farm Insurance didn’t have to magically appear in front of someone with too much time on their hands with some poutine, but they did.

Now if I could just get State Farm insurance agent to appear with some employment. Well, why don’t I try? “Like a good neighbor…State Farm is there…with a new job.”

Posted in Advertising, Social Media, Social Networking | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

People I May Know?

Posted by evankessler on November 9, 2010

There’s a weird feeling of invasion of privacy every time I’m on certain Social Networking sites. It doesn’t stem from the fact that people can see what I’m up to or who I’m hanging out with. I like to think I do a pretty good job of keeping the things I want to keep private under wraps. The specific thing that crawls under my skin is when the social networks in question feel the need to suggest who I might want to be friends with or connected to. It’s as if this program is digging through the annals of my personal correspondence to exert influence on my life. I belong to certain social networks because I don’t find them too intrusive and they allow me certain controls, but once they start nudging me with friendship suggestions for people I once tried to buy a Wii from via Craigslist, they’ve ceased to be effective. Then there are those other suggestions where you don’t know where they come from, as evidenced by the screenshot below. Can you guess which one doesn’t belong?

Posted in blogging, Social Networking | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Bringing It All Back Home

Posted by evankessler on October 27, 2010

I had a bit of a shock yesterday. I was applying for two separate positions for pop culture blogger and media blogger at the New York Observer, when I went fishing for some links to old posts I did for OneRiot. Much to my surprise and chagrin, I  learned that the entire OneRiot blog had been expunged from the online universe. That meant a large number of my culture and current events portfolio pieces had been abruptly flushed down the drain of the world wide web.

Unfortunately, I had taken very few, if any, screen shots of these wonderful and relevant specimens of wit and writing ability. It was a crushing blow to my professional prospects, for when one sends out clips to a prospective employer, it’s best that these clips have a reputable label affixed to them. The OneRiot blog had been nominated for a South x Southwest award and had a reasonably slick design. In short, it was a lot more official looking than my personal blog.

Luckily, there is a thing called email. Seeing as I wasn’t authorized to access and post directly to the OneRiot blog myself, all of these posts had to be submitted via messages sent to my editors or by sharing on GoogleDocs. Although they may not currently live online in edited post form, they’re hidden in the dark recesses of my inbox and shared document folder.

In efforts to recreate the magic of these past posts, I shall be undertaking a massive reclamation project to make them live again online in the archives of EvanKessler.com. Each post will be accompanied by the OneRiot logo as seen below (usually in the upper right hand/left hand corner):

Let the process begin. This may or may not be a long slog.

Posted in blogging, OneRiot, work, writing | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Oldest Profession in Social Media

Posted by evankessler on December 3, 2009

On any given day in your twitter stream, you can count on receiving an endless display of minutia, whether some attention hound wants you to know that he is currently walking west on Main Street or taking a moment to rid oneself of bodily waste.  Status updates are the new status symbol and aspiring social media mavens from Hialeah, Florida to Hong Kong can’t seem to give enough day to day play-by-play for their horde of eager and sometimes completely disinterested followers.

The fact that people stop their lives to tell you exactly what they’ve stopped doing in their lives can be absolutely ludicrous depending on just what they’ve brought to a screeching halt.

Recently, an Abingdon, MD man brought his wedding to a standstill in order to update his Facebook relationship status and tweet his knot tying, thereby cementing his status as a social media whore.

So what a social media whore makes?  We here at OneRiot have compiled a list of some of the tell-tale signs…er symptoms that you may be practicing the world’s oldest profession over the Internet.

  • You May Kiss The…- Any historic event in your life that you take time out to turn into a status update rather than enjoy the visceral experience of being there speaks volumes of your digital prostitution.  If something is worth recounting, the story you’ll tell later will be better than the 140 characters you’re currently conveying.
  • Cewebrity- You’re fame is based on your ability to social network. Hello Tila Tequila.

  • “We’re Engaged!”- Instead of telling any of your friends you’re engaged, you just change your relationship status on Facebook.
  • The Menu- Your friends and followers can list all of the meals you’ve eaten in the past two weeks because you’ve tweeted or made status updates about all of them.  The catch is, you’re not a food critic.
  • You Should See A Doctor- One of your followers thinks that the amount of times you go to the bathroom is unhealthy.  This signifies that your followers are aware of how many times you’ve been to the bathroom.
  • I’m So Cool- You’re constantly tweeting about who you are hanging out with, especially if they are celebrities who you are friends with on Twitter.
  • Fail Whale- You have panic attacks when the Fail Whale appears.
  • You Think You’re An Elected Official- Everywhere you go, you proclaim yourself the mayor over twitter until someone else you know on twitter shows up.  If you were the mayor of the coffee shop you’d probably be able to score free drinks.
  • People Have Faces?- You’ve never met any of your friends in person, but you know they’re hilarious because of the online personas they’ve concocted.  For all you know your followers are all convicted sex offenders on house arrest who are hilarious in 140 word bursts.
  • You Wear #85 For The Bengals- Chad OchoCinco maybe a bit of a Tweet freak but he uses his powers for good and is a joy to follow.

There are plenty more tell-tale signs of Social Media obsession.  Unfortunately our character count for this article has r….

Posted in OneRiot | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Hoaxes Highlight Real-Time Web Accountability Issues

Posted by evankessler on October 21, 2009

There are some days in which the real-time web proves its own absolute relevance by breaking news as it happens at almost the immediate moment of impact, as evidenced in the recent election struggles in Iran.  Then there are days like today; days when the act of receiving pertinent updates on pressing world affairs and other occurrences of note seems to be eclipsed by the power of speedy necessity and a certain immaturity that at times makes us yearn for the days when Newspapers took a long hard look at what news people needed to hear the following morning when they picked up their tabloid of choice along with their morning cup of Joe.

Today’s slate of trending topics hinged on stories of not one, but two notable demises.  The first, and obviously most important coming from the world of celebrity was that of Kanye West.  Now, anyone with a quarter of a brain who has weathered storms of internet hoaxes before was obviously aware of the thread of idiocy running through the Internet since late last evening, but nonetheless the rampant pollution of the real-time web trending topics with such nonsense can make it seem like one is trying to attain their daily fix by remaining adrift in a river of idiots swimming upstream against the most important or even interesting information.

It’s not clear why people want to make everyone think Kanye West is dead?  Maybe they don’t like his music, maybe they love Taylor Swift, but any attempt to prove so is just as malicious as a Kanye interruption of a teenage girl’s MTV Awards speech if not more so. While I’m not sure if this legally akin to libel, perpetuating a falsity on your own personal whim can’t be that far off. So how do we stop these ridiculous hoaxes that clog the flow of information? Do they become punishable offenses or does Twitter have to go the wikipedia direction and try to figure out some fact filter?  Or do we all just become so desensitized with heightened bullshit-o-meters that we turn off any unsupported facts we’re even the least bit cynical about?  This is a problem that must be addressed by the real-time web if it wants to maintain relevance.

This doesn’t just apply to Tweeters and those who ReTweet with frequency.  The immediacy of Real-Time has caused news organizations to compete before valid confirmation of news stories, which leads us to today’s second example of a notable demise and trending topic “Megrahi”.  Earlier in the day the UK’s Sky News reported that Libya’s recently returned Lockerbie Bomber Abdel Basset al-Megrahi had passed on, an event that possibly may have brought some comfort to the families of the victims of Pan Am Flight 103.  In an obvious attempt to scoop the world, the news was proudly displayed and quickly spread like wildfire on the Internet.  Unfortunately, we’ve since come to learn that the reports of Megrahi’s demise may or may not have been greatly exaggerated, as his lawyer has since denied his passing. It may be slightly off base to say that Sky News lack of fact checking on the matter is a direct result of being in direct competition with the ability of real-time web to break a story first or a network’s need to break a story first on the real-time web, nonetheless these gatekeepers and real-time conduits must always be aware that there is no next day correction column when things are happening in the now and that sometimes getting things correct should be of paramount importance over getting things out first before everyone starts believing something that isn’t true.

Posted in OneRiot, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Circle K Goes Viral

Posted by evankessler on September 22, 2009

The current lay of the cultural landscape is littered with several kinds of social media consumers. There are the casual users who are just trying to stay connected; the recreational users who find great entertainment value in the frequent status updates and interactive nature of socializing with those you can’t be near; and then there are the wholly self-obsessed who are convinced that their every move is of paramount importance on a global scale and thus worthy of the other two group’s time.

You can count Indonesian film director Joko Anwar as a member of the latter social “me”dia generation. The director of such films as Pintu terlarang and Dead Time: Kala wielded his sword of net arrogance to more or less make convenience mart Circle K a household name for the first time since Bill and Ted traveled through time from a phone booth outside of one.

Anwar announced via his twitter page that once his followers topped the 3,000 mark, he would be making a rather naked jaunt to everyone’s favorite store named after a shape-enclosed letter– assuming of course that 3,000 people wanted to see him naked buying a bottle of iced tea. The director’s challenge predictably proved the unfortunate fact that there are enough people who are more than willing to encourage such self-aggrandizing, yet wholly desperate seeming behavior. Within minutes Circle K was trending all over the net and Anwar was over 3,000 followers. It used to be people would do anything for a buck, now it’s just for some digital disciples and a soft drink. Unfortunately for Circle K employees, they’ll be seeing a very naked Indonesian film director very soon.

Posted in OneRiot, Social Networking | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Facebook Lite to Help with Your Digital Diet

Posted by evankessler on August 12, 2009

We weren’t aware that Facebook was helping us pack on the pounds. Sure, downing that whole box of 60 munchkins while we came up with that awesome “how well do you know Oneriot?” quiz might have been responsible for a little weight gain, but it’s nothing we couldn’t have worked off with some intense physical activity a la a heated game of Scramble or a little Super Poke aerobics now and again.

That being said, the makers of Facebook know that in this age of frivolous lawsuits it was probably better for them to cut some fat and offer a lower carb option of their addictive service  rather than face a lawsuit from some overly litigious and overweight Internet fiends who claim that Facebook-ing is responsible for their dual cases of carpal tunnel and digital diabetes.

In the effort to make their site more heart healthy Facebook is now beta testing Facebook Lite. While the details are still a little fuzzy on just what low calorie content will be used to sweeten the less fattening sister of the social networking site extraordinaire, one might think they could include some sort of calorie counting system letting you know when you’ve had too much Facebook for one day to the point where it’s hurting your productivity and your waistline.

However, there is no hint of such a feature in the early screen shots, which show that the scaled down version appears to have far fewer ingredients than its application-stuffed sibling. Rather than clogging those pixelated arteries on your screen with requests, suggestions, highlights, and boxes galore– Facebook lite seems to mainly focus on the status updates of your friends. Hmm, we think we’ve heard of another similar online dietary supplement like that. It starts with a T and ends with an R, but for the life of us we can’t remember the letters in between.




Posted in OneRiot, Pop Culture, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Shaq Traded Before He Hears Dat

Posted by evankessler on June 25, 2009

In the before time people used to find out all of their vital information via phone calls, subpoenas, or beautifully written and subsequently narrated letters from their significant other in Charleston, South Carolina during times of Civil War. Today, however, we have Twitter, which much like text messaging asserts the pressure to get one’s point across in a finite amount of characters. Yesterday brought such an occasion, when NBA Superstar and certifiable Twitterlebrity @THE_REAL_SHAQ got traded to @cavs.

ESPN had like a 8 min piece on it said its a DONE DEAL you a Cavalier but aint beliving it till the BIG @THE_REAL_SHAQ SINGS.

It seems @THE_REAL_SHAQ was not aware of said transaction until @allonso notified the aging big man, telling him “ESPN had like a 8 min piece on it said its a DONE DEAL you a Cavalier but aint beliving it till the BIG @THE_REAL_SHAQ SINGS.” Shaq responded by tweeting @allonso, “I didn’t hear dat yet.” But indeed the Big Cactus would have to be changing his tune and his nickname as he would find out moments later. Perhaps getting the biggest kick out the whole situation was @DJJTR3Y who twote at the diesel “U CLEVELAND BOUND…shaq found out he was traded thru twitter! lmao….hahahaaaaaa.” Shaq confirmed @DJJTR3Y’s Twitspicions with an “I kno right” over the micro-blogging service. It was quite the to do and now we all feel dumber for having followed it. Oh well, so much for the delicate beauty of the English language.

Posted in OneRiot, Pop Culture, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Lohan Brings a Little Bit of Myspace to the Twittersphere

Posted by evankessler on June 19, 2009

It used to be that whenever we here at OneRiot had the urge to see a trashy Long Island native posing shirtless via a camera phone photo they took of themselves in the mirror , we would just go to Myspace and do a search for the name Joey or Amber. However, as of this morning the popular “place for friends” isn’t the only site to catch a glimpse of those desperate for sexy-time approval.

Lindsey Lohan has given us good reason to defriend Tom and start Tweeting up a storm as the the struggling skin-and-bones starlet bared most of her “upper-echelon” save for some strategically-placed hair in front of her reasonably sized silly cones in a pic she posted to Twitter.

It’s not clear whether Lohan was trying to attract or repulse the person she posted this for, but at least she and the hacker who snagged them off of her account have given America plenty of meaningless celebrity fodder to ponder at the beach over this first official weekend of Summer.


Posted in Celebrity, OneRiot, Social Networking, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »