Evan Kessler Dot Com

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Posts Tagged ‘shirts’

Hoy Es Domingo

Posted by evankessler on October 22, 2006

It’s Sunday….Time for the Shirt of the Week!

Domingo Means Sunday En Espanol.

Not only am I making Days of the Week Shirts…but I’m making them in Spanish!

Coincidentally, I’m also making shirts in English that you can buy. Nonetheless, whether you’re American or Canadian, you should buy evankessler.com shirts.

Oh and another thing before I forget…in the true spirit of domingo here are my picks for week 7 of the NFL Season. Last week saw another move in the positive direction for EvanKessler.com versus his friendly annual nemesis. This week should continue the winning trend. ..Enjoy and good luck to all of your teams even though you should only have one team you bandwagon jumping douchebag.

Week 7 Picks
Chargers over Chiefs
Dolphins over Green Bay (Bruce picks Packers)
Jets over Lions
Steelers over Falcons
Eagles over Bucs
Patriots over Bills
Jags over Texans
Panthers over Bengals (Bruce picks Bengals)
Broncos over Browns
Cardinals over Raiders
Seahawks over Vikings
Colts over Redskins
Giants over Cowboys (Bruce picks Cowboys)

Week 6 Results
Evan 9-4
Bruce 8-5

Evan 57-30
Bruce 59-28

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I almost forgot

Posted by evankessler on October 10, 2006

I almost totally forgot about my other competing EvanKessler.com shop at Spreadshirt. Viva Capitalism!

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Orange Alert!

Posted by evankessler on March 13, 2006

Congratulations to the Syracuse Orangemen (I refuse to just call them the Orange) on their Big East Tournament victory this weekend. It certainly made this month’s upcoming NCAA Tournament much more interesting for me personally and I’m sure countless other Syracuse alumni and fans. We’re coming in to the tournament on a hot streak so the other teams better watch out. Actually, you heard it right here, I’m predicting a first round loss to Texas A&M but it’s an honor just to be nominated.

Anyway, you didn’t come here to read about college basketball. I know I don’t really have anything to write about it besides what I’ve already written so I guess that cancels out any further commentary. We all know you’re looking forward to the weekend recap. Let me tell you, I’m looking forward to writing it for you folks out there who make this all possible by perusing daily and though you may not buy shirts, you’re still number one in my hearts, though you could at least fill in the unnecessary guestbook to let me know you’re out there.
Alright, I’ll get off of your case and get into the weekend recap. Friday was an extremely busy day. I woke up bright and early for a doctor’s appointment at 10am all the in the West 80’s. One hour later, it was off to my old haunt at 1633 Broadway to pay a visit to some old friends and meet some new fans. This one’s for my loyal readers in 6-153. I think that’s my old office. I dropped in to see my old desk across from the ladies room to chat with David and Lauren. I also had a nice chat with my ol’ supervising producer Karla. I then headed upstairs to knock on Mr. Adam Starling’s door where I encountered Sergio Santos, Megan Beshalsky and an unnamed stranger who shares their office. Adam alerted me to his Saturday evening plans, which included an outing at Planet Rose. This, needless to say, tickled my karaoke fancy. I even started knock around song ideas in my head. We’ll get to that part later though.

After my hour-long detour at the VH1 office, I headed home for a little online job hunt and some afternoon R&R before my busy day was to continue. At 4pm I headed over to an Art Gallery in Cooper Square where I was helping out at an art gallery where my friend Bess works. A couple of weeks, prior she had asked if I wanted to do some bartending for an art opening. Having never tended bar before I enthusiastically took up the cause. Not only because it was a new experience but also because I hadn’t actually been paid for working since sometime back in October, once again putting accent on the running theme that I need a job.

When I arrived at the gallery I found out that along with the gallery owner’s work another artists paintings were being featured, and that artist was….Are you ready for this? (Drum roll please) …Burt Young. Some of you are saying, who is Burt Young? Some of you are saying AWESOME! I didn’t know Burt Young painted. I just thought he was Rocky Balboa’s drunken corner man/brother in-law Pauly. Well you’d be wrong. Burt Young is an artist as well and I quite liked his work, not that I’m an expert on art. Anyway, before anyone arrived one of the other worker’s (Eric) and I went to K-Mart to get a cooler and some ice. When we got back we all helped with some setting up. The first guests arrived at 5:30 and I was stationed behind the bar. We didn’t have a full bar which was excellent for me as I have never tended bar before and know how to make very few drinks. Our bar consisted of Red Wine, White Wine, Vodka, Perrier, Cranberry Juice, Orange Juice, Grapefruit Juice, and tonic water. Luckily for me there are not too many permutations that can be created with those ingredients. I was slightly afraid someone would ask for something I wouldn’t know how to make but what I should have been afraid of was the actual ingredients themselves. My first attempt at opening the primary bottle of tonic water was met with an Old Faithful-esque explosion. Luckily for the painting behind me the entire contents of said explosion covered my shirt and pants. Luckily, for me, only one person witnessed my embarrassment and it was a co-worker. Pretty soon the party picked up and I was dishing out drinks at what seemed like a record pace. I felt really great and actually enjoyed doing the bartending bit. My action was decreased when a new worker, cute girl named Serica, a Finlandia Vodka girl, was sent to help dispense drinks. Ironically, she was giving out wine and I was making all of the Vodka drinks.

The funny thing about bartending is that you figure out really quickly who all of the alcoholics in the room are. There was one guy who was leaning against the radiator about 4 feet from me and kept extending his glass every 5 minutes for refills. There was another guy who asked me for some white wine and then about 30 seconds later asked for a refill. I’ve also realized that Perrier is extremely popular. I think had to pour more Perrier than anything else. It is amazing to me that people can drink that stuff. It’s the Yuppie soft drink of choice. I’d say about 60 percent of the drinks I gave out were Perrier. Personally, I don’t understand the appeal of sparkling water. I’m also not sure what the difference is between Perrier, Tonic, and Club Soda. I would like a full explanation. I’m sure I could just look it up but people who wanted vodka and soda wouldn’t take Vodka and Perrier or Vodka and tonic. I don’t think any of those drinks could be so different. That being said, I was told that I make a good vodka tonic, though in all honesty it’s pretty impossible to mess up. Before all was said and done I had worked from 4pm to about 9:45 and managed to explode 2 bottles of Tonic on myself and earn $60. Way to go me. I miss working.

After the show, I ventured about 1 block from the art studio to McSorley’s to meet my friends John and Chris from my improv class. It was John’s birthday and what better reason to celebrate. It was really great to see them though I only stayed for about an hour which was enough time to down about 5 of those dark half pints. We were also joined by fellow Level 1 improv classmate Jonathan Desley, but he came right before I left. When I was saying goodbye to everyone some girl they were chatting with outside wanted to play with my hair and then invited me to go to Fat Cat Billiards with her and her friends but I was on my way up to 52nd st. to hang out with Morwin, Miller, Andy, Kayvalyn, Andrea, Jason, and several others. I don’t remember exactly who was there because the majority of them decided they were leaving right before I showed up. This is right after they told me to get more beer. I stayed at Morwin’s drinking with Andy, Andy’s brother, Jason, and Steve Miller before leaving about an hour later. Something tells me I should have stayed downtown but I had a good enough time as it were. I also found out that our friends John and Zherna Karian are officially expecting, so congratulations to them.

Saturday was a beautiful day. I reinstituted my spring/summer tradition of aimless wandering whilst listening to music on my ipod. I wound up getting a frosty and Wendy’s and walking to Strand bookstore where I bought Woody Allen’s book Side Effects. I then meandered over to Washington Square Park to begin reading said book. It’s a good thing I had just finished reading Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying, the day before. It’s funny, that book took me about a month to read and it’s only 182 pages. I’m already one-third of the way through this Woody Allen book and it’s only been one day. I moved the action away from the Folkie Guitar playing hippies in the park back to the front stoop of my apartment on Bleecker St. I sat out in front reading and people watching. At around 5:30, Kristin Ertel, her boyfriend David, and his roommate Alex crossed my path. We decided we would get some dinner so we went to the gimmicky Slaughtered Lamb Pub on Jones and W. 4th Street. The Slaughtered Lamb Pub is funny because they try to make their dishes sound either haunted or British. For example, the Chicken Fingers are called “Cheshire Chicken Fingers” and the basement area is called “The Dungeon”. Nonetheless the food was okay but we couldn’t resist renaming everything on the menu to sound more British.

After we ate, I split with Kristin, David, and Alex thinking that we would get together to watch the Syracuse game but that did not happen. Instead, I watched Syracuse skim the Pittsburgh Panthers by 4 in the Big East Conference final whilst eating a bag of popcorn from across the street by my lonesome. Not that I’m complaining, I don’t really like watching sports with people around me yelling. After the game ended I set out to meet Adam Starling at Planet Rose for some karaoke only I hadn’t talked to Adam all day. I stupidly assumed he would be there. I’m not trying to passive aggressively blame him for not being there, I’m just saying, the only thing I went on was a suggestion Adam made the previous day. In the back of my mind I sort of thought he wouldn’t’ be there as I hadn’t spoken with him all day. When I finally arrived after a pleasant stroll I entered Planet Rose to find Adam’s friend Mike but no Adam. I stayed and had one drink and then decided I really didn’t feel that much like being out anyway. As I headed back to home sweet home I made some calls to see if anyone was out but it really didn’t seem like a busy night. Anyway, I was perfectly satisfied with the way the night ended up. I got a couple of nice walks out of it and Syracuse won the Big East Championship.

Today (Sunday) wasn’t much of a day. I had plans to meet my family for Brunch on the Upper East Side. For some god awful reason my mom decided to make Brunch plans at El Greco, a place whose specialties were Greek and Seafood. I was more in the mood for Breakfast. So not only was this not a good Brunch place but it was all the way up on 72nd and 2nd. Instead of taking the 6 train to get their I decided that I didn’t want to walk far in the light drizzle so I got on the E train figuring I would switch at the 51st and Lexington Avenue stop to the 6 train. However, when I got to 42nd street it was announced that the E was going to be on the D track or something so I was kind of screwed and needed to find a new route to the East Side. I begrudgingly got out at times square and walked to Bryant Park where I jumped on the F which was riding on the V track and it took me to where I wanted to switch. Why does the MTA feel the need to fuck with every single train route on the weekend? I am confident that none of the trains were running their entire usual route this weekend. Anyway, I had a subpar brunch with the family. I really was not in the mood for Rigatoni and eggplant but I ate it anyway. The rest of my day was spent wasting valuable space on the couch. Given the amount I’ve written about this weekend you’d think it was more eventful than it actually was. Oh well. This week is sure to be a good one maybe. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s hot 24 action.

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Everything I Do, I Do It For You

Posted by evankessler on March 10, 2006

…Or because you told me to do it. I was unsure if I would even post today, but at the behest of loyal (or should I say Royal) British EvanKessler.com enthusiast, David Abbott it has been declared that the show must go on. So this one’s for you huge douche. It’s not that the past few days have been uneventful it’s just that there hasn’t been much alcohol consumption, anger, and/or drama to delve into. On the contrary this week has been fairly prosperous if not in the least productive.

Since I’ve last written I still have not gotten a job, so no change there. Nor have I made any sort of life progress. However, I have spent some pleasant time with good friends and I suppose that has to count for something. My Tuesday was spent in the lovely company of Jessica I. Jessica is a dear friend from the days at Ramapo High School who is apparently ensconced in her studies at Simmons College in Boston and as she likes to put it ,“Simmons is for Wimmons”. Jessica arrived at my apartment sometime around 1pm on Tuesday and we then crossed the street to have a delicious lunch at Risotteria. Jessica is allergic to Gluten and Risotteria is one of the few restaurants that cater to the Gluten Free lifestyle and luckily for her, it is directly across the street from my apartment. I just realized if I have any potential stalkers, they will no doubt have any problem discovering where I live. Luckily, I have no stalkers. To be honest, I think I’d welcome a stalker at this point to spice up life a little bit. I could use a frantically paced running away from a deranged admirer because sometimes it’s just nice to get out of the house. Jessica made me taste some of her gluten free pizza and her gluten free cookie, which to their credit taste almost like they should but for their strange aftertaste and grainy consistency. But how would sans-glutenites really know? They’re just happy to be eating pizza and cookies like normal human beings. Luckily, Risotteria has regular food. I had a pesto, tomato, and mozzarella panini which was excellent.

After our meal we went on a lengthy jaunt all over downtown. First we made our rounds around Soho and then we made a separate venture to the East Village, all of the while engaging in lovely conversation and playful pushing. We ventured into a vegan bakery in the East Village where we each tasted some of the most disgusting sweets we had ever had. I do not recommend vegan cupcakes. We eventually aimlessly wandered back towards Soho where we stopped into The Room for a drink before I shipped her uptown and I headed to Brooklyn for Creative Night at Maureen H’s place.

Creative night was an interesting experience. Actually, I think I’m making a huge faux pas by referring to it as Creative night, as its founders prefer the name “Thinking Caps” for this creative, supportive, gathering. The group consisted of Maureen H, Pete F, Laura R, Laura B, Andrew Morton, and myself. I have to say I felt a little intimidated as I was joining something in progress and really had no idea what to expect. Andrew, Maureen, Laura B., and Pete were all working on a script together and I honestly had no idea what I was going to work on. Maureen quizzed me as to what I was there to work on and I felt completely unprepared as if I needed to show some credentials. I settled on working on my t-shirts with Laura R. who had shown some interest in actually producing and selling them. We came up with a few new ideas and discussed silk- screening the designs and marketing them. Anyway, Laura left on account of being under the weather and I was left unsure of what to work on and felt somewhat inadequate in a room full of people so organized. I mean they had a script outlined and were working on scenes and I was just staring at a bunch of silly slogans. Their mission seemed to have a lot more vision behind it.

To tell the truth I was completely envious of their organization and really wish I had a team of people to write with. I kind of wanted more to show for my efforts than just a few t-shirt designs, not to really demean those efforts because those were fun, I just wanted to work more on writing. Anyway, I suppose what this whole blog is for. That being said, I still enjoyed “thinking caps” and will try to have more to work on next time. The session ended at about 11pm and I headed home to get some sleep.

The next day I woke up reasonably early to continue the work search before another day of hanging out with Jessica. I met up with her at 1pm at a place called Peter’s Gourmet Diner or something like that on 1st ave between 83rd and 84th that also featured a gluten-free menu. I really have sympathy for Jessica in that her eating choices are severely limited. Sort of the like the way I feel for my friend Deb Miran who can’t eat any form of nuts. I mean peanuts are one of the best foods ever. That can’t be easy to stay away from, but I suppose if it’s a choice between peanut butter and dying, I’d have to not eat peanut butter. That must eliminate a good percentage of candy bars. Anyway, I had a Belgian waffle and some bacon. I’m a bad Jew. Jess had gluten-free pancakes, eggs, and bacon. She is also a bad Jew and apparently her pancakes were not very good. Afterwards we went on a stroll through Central Park and at around 3:30pm we split off because she wanted to go shoe shopping and I was tired and needed to do more job searching. I have to say, I’m really glad Jess came to town when she did. She’s one of my favorite people to talk and hang out with. Too bad she lives in Boston and is moving even further to New Hampshire with her boyfriend. Anyway, the rest of Wednesday was sort of awash.

I woke up today around 12:15. I haven’t been getting to sleep at very reasonable hours as of late. The last 3 nights have I’ve settled on bedtimes of 5am, 4am, and 3am. This is more due to insomnia than the need to watch TV. Several minutes upon waking up I realized I was missing the Syracuse-UCONN game. My original impulse was to not watch because I figured SU would lose and that we weren’t going to make it to the NCAA Tournament. However, I checked the score on the internet and noticed that my alma mater had a sizable lead. I immediately made my way over to the television and sat glued to the TV til almost 2:30 as I witnessed one of the most enthralling college games I had seen in recent memory, a game where Syracuse went from a certain NIT team to a definite lock for the field of 64 in the NCAA’s upcoming March Madness. That’s really all that happened today. It was pretty damn exciting though. The only other significant thing was being urged by David Abbott to write this blog I hope I spelled his last name correctly. Oh, and my Consumating
Popularity shot up about 100 places, so that was good. Now if only I could sell some T-shirts and get a job everything would be coming up aces.

Oh, and another thing. I’m trying to figure out what my writing is really good for and by that I mean, I’m looking for a good place to submit some entries in the hopes of getting paid or at least getting recognized. If you have any suggestions that you think would be good, let me know.

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Happy New Week

Posted by evankessler on January 6, 2006

Well, it’s 2006 and so far, nary a dull moment. Well, perhaps there have been several. The daytime has been mostly dull since I still do not have work. However, the evenings with the exception of Sunday and Monday have been action packed this week.

Tuesday evening had a little happy hour fun as I went to Samantha Hahn’s art opening at Kanvas and despite a slow beginning it picked up when the crowd died down. Most of the night I wandered around with no one to really talk to save for Sam’s mother. Though we did have a delightful conversation about the silliness of certain piercings and teenage rebellion. Soon after the departure of the masses I had some good interaction with Matt K (sp?) and Sam’s friends Violet, Jolie, and Susan. I had a few drinks in me by that point as well so that helped. After the party I went home and passed out on my couch only to wake up at 1am and not really fall asleep again til 7:30am. I tell you, I did not enjoy that.

Wednesday night I did not originally have any plans. I had hoped to watch the Rose Bowl with some Texas folk when midday I got a phone call from Ole Schell who wanted to watch the game. Far be it from me to turn down a social offering so later in the evening Ole and I met up at Diablo Cantina or Cantina Diablo, whatever the name of the place is next to Buster’s Garage in Tribeca. My brother soon joined us and we had some beers and Mexican food in the first half, headed back to my brother’s apartment to watch the 2nd half. It was quite an entertaining game and quite representative of the top billing it got as the National Championship game. If you don’t know who won, let’s just say everyone I know from Texas is happy.

Thursday was pretty similar to Tuesday and Wednesday in that the days were completely boring and uneventful. I have to be honest I’ve been completely depressed during the day and I really am in need of work so my overactive imagination doesn’t continue to do a number on my ego. Oh, and work would give me more money too so I could actively enjoy life without feeling guilty for spending the money that I’ve been spending lately. Anyway, midway through the day and emailed surfaced about a happy hour get together and I was more than pleased to make my presence felt at said happy hour gathering. It was a small gathering though. The only people at the Fat Black Pussycat were myself, Lauren H, Jesse P, Rob M. and his friend Akiko. I was not disappointed, it was a fun gathering though small and plenty of beer was shared between the five of us. I got home at around 8:30 and now I’m writing this. I have to say though, in the time I’ve been home I’ve already had a disturbing event happen. I was sitting on my couch and our friendly apartment mouse ran up the leg of my jeans. That has never happened to me before and it was disturbing to say the least. I washed my leg after like I had OCD. I seriously need to get a cat for this apartment. If anyone has a cat I can borrow for like 3 weeks to alleviate my mouse problem it would be much appreciated. Or if you just want to bring your cat over to hang out I will love you forever. FOREVER. Anyway, the weekend is upon us so stay tuned for the EK.COM weekend recap on Monday and while you’re here you might as well go to my store and buy a shirt. Six other people have so far. Do you think you’re better than those people? Also, there will be some official 2006 designs coming soon that I’m working with some collaborators on. Be on the lookout. Also, look below, because I threw some new years photos in.

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Posted by evankessler on December 21, 2005

I know what you’re thinking, it’s 2:14am, what am I doing up? Well I don’t have any good answer to that but I know Adam Starling is up too so I don’t feel so odd. First of all I’d like to apologize to all of my friendsters for updating my blog and thus clogging your inbox with an annoying email, but I just had to because I was so excited. When I arrived home from my evening of grabbing dinner and a few drinks with my roommate Ellen, Marty Dundics instant messaged me with the suggestion of coming up with a NYC Transit Strike ’05 T-Shirt idea and that I did. I think this one has earning potential but there’s only a small window to act so I had to act immediately and start my marketing blitz on Friendster and Myspace in order to get maximum profit out of this city crippling crisis. Aaah America, land of opportunity indeed. So, I’d like to thank Marty for without his spark of opportunistic fervor and for his knowledge of photoshop, this t-shirt and many other t-shirts would not have been possible. Marty, I salute you.

I didn’t think the strike would really affect me at all, now it may possibly do so in a positive light. However, if it is not settled by Thursday I’ll have to walk to my dentist on 56th between 2nd and 3rd avenue.

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Evan Kessler’s Marketing Plan

Posted by evankessler on September 29, 2005

This date has a certain significance for me but it’s far too dark and depressing so I’ll skirt the issue. Instead, I’ll focus on the evankessler.com marketing plan, which I’ve formulated in the past 10 hours. First of all thanks to my Washington state fan base I’ll be able to conquer the west coast in no time once they start wearing their Evan Kessler & His Only 2 Friends Shirts. Seriously, Katie, Tarra, and Kelly, thanks for your support. Beyond that, I’m thinking about sending a chain letter. The chain letter will read as follows:

To whom it may concern:
If you don’t buy a shirt from my website, evankessler.com and send this email to 15 people in 10 days, you’ll most certainly die pretty soon and/or lose all of your shirts.

Evan J. Kessler

If this does not work I shall have to rethink a new strategy. I may have to enlist the Washington state contingent to begin my aggressive marketing campaign though it’s not set in stone. There’s still time to configure a new marketing plan.

Also, another thing I’ve noticed is that since I’ve been working the past few days, and haven’t kept up my away message with the evankessler.com link the amount of web hits has gone down drastically, nearly destroying my daily traffic numbers. Perhaps, I will leave that message up from now on.

On the work front, I realized today that my work assignment will probably not be too treacherous judging by the fact that the last 20 minutes of work today consisted of my producer trying to teach me the finer points of learning the shooting game Halo. I was not very good, my producer and editor took turns blowing my head off in a three- player competition. I’m not good at those action games since violence does not come naturally to me at all.

Also, I went to see Matt Wood play tonight at the Living Room. He was playing keyboards for someone. At one point, I realized that I was drinking and that I’d have to go to work tomorrow. It’s been so long since that thought had actually occurred to me. Afterwards, we met up with potential roommate Ellen who was really super cool. I hate being a guy and using the word super but I think it applies. We still have one more potential roommate to meet with, so we’ll see how it goes. I don’t mind knowing that one potential roommate is really cool though because if the other one doesn’t seem right then I’d feel perfectly fine about choosing the other. Alright, I’ve go to sleep, my alarm will go off tomorrow and I’ll unfortunately have to wake up bright and early

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