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Posts Tagged ‘Halloween’

OneRiot Guide to Last-Minute Halloween Costumes

Posted by evankessler on October 30, 2009

Jack-o-latern

Image via Wikipedia

Muahaha, Spooky greetings OneRioters! Here we are on the cusp of yet another haunted All Hallow’s Eve, ready to gorge ourselves on Candy corns (yechh!) and Fun-sized Nestle Crunch (yum!). Are you with us?

Well, before you secure enough sweets to last you the next financial quarter, you’re going to have to stop stomping around the neighborhood in your everyday gear, because no one wants to give M&Ms to a banker or a dad casually dressed in Eddie Bauer gear– unless you can convince them that your costume is “1995 Man.”  So if you’ve waited ’til the last minute and have yet to secure a quality costume for Saturday’s big party or trick or treat trek, we here at OneRiot have a few suggestions to help you stand out amongst a sea of balloon boys and Jon and Kate plus Eight impersonators. So without further ado, the OneRiot last minute Halloween costume guide for those who have yet to decide:

Halloween 2008 – Last year Sarah Palin costumes were all the rage. You probably even dressed as the former Alaska governor last year. You’re so creative. Why not pull that power suit out with the American flag lapel pin out of the closet this year, make your hair look all sexy librarian-ish and slap on that pair of New Year‘s 2008 glasses you’ve held onto hoping to somehow get another use out of.  For good measure grab yourself a piggy bank and slap some lipstick on that thing and maybe glue some old candy wrappers to your person. Voila!

Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger– Dust off that old sport coat and procure a pair of pilot wings, a nifty hat and a sweet white stache. Carry with you a tupperware labeled “Hudson River” filled with water and a mini toy plane. Throughout the party keep landing your toy plane safely in the tupperware. Everyone at the party will consider you a hero. If you don’t want to carry around the tupperware you can just keep dropping your plane in other people’s drinks, but we suspect that could be annoying.

Joe Francis– For the sleazy mail order video king getting young girls to act uninhibited on camera may have led to a jail stint, but donning an orange prison jump suit and walking around the party of your choice beckoning fellow revellers to “go wild” whilst training your video camera on them could make you the hit of this Halloween – and give you plenty of memorable footage for years to come.  Just don’t sell it in monthly installments for the low price of $9.99.

Unsexy Cat- Every halloween, like clockwork, a bevy of impressively endowed ladies make it their duty to prove their sex appeal by showing that every possible profession looks better with less clothes on. This also extends to portrayals of Satan and domesticated animals. The fact of the matter is this: “Sexy Cop” or “Sexy Oncologist” are not real jobs and not all men are turned on every time a Siamese cat walks by. So in order to bring a dose of reality to halloween, we find the “Unsexy cat” to be a welcome change from the usual come hither costumes.  All it takes is an unattractive baggy pair of sweats, a tail and some cat ears.  Once you get to the party just start rubbing up uncomfortably against people and asking for food or water.

Veiled Insult– (or the, this is what I’m going as special) A lot of people show precious little creativity on Halloween. Couples will try to be cute and dress up as Raggedy Anne and Andy, or whatever adorable duo costume they found at the costume shop.  Ladies will try to be super sexy (slutty) and some guys will try to toss it off like they don’t care enough to get dressed on Halloween and just pop in some vampire teeth or a hint of fake blood. This is your chance to get back at them by going all conceptual. All you’ve got to do is get some lacy material to fashion a veil and affix it to a hair clip. Next, just attend a party and tell people how awful their costume is. They’ll either get your concept or they’ll want to fashion a new “person with a bloody head” getup for you. The key is to criticize sparingly and effectively, whilst enjoying their poorly dressed company.

Alright, Onerioters. Have a happy and safe Halloween.  Don’t eat any apples with pins in them, and if you’re giving out candy at your house don’t be the weirdo who pawns off pennies.

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Uses for a Rotting Corpse on Halloween

Posted by evankessler on October 19, 2009

Beginning sometime around our gentle transition into the autumn season, the word “Halloween” began appearing as a trending topic on the minds of many a real-time search monger.  While it’s true a good deal of the hubbub is merely result of users reading up on their favorite spooky sugar-coated candies or attempting to get a head start on finding the perfect costume like @trexy79 who’s considering stealing my costume from 5 years ago and at the same time ruining the surprise for any of his twitter follower friends who might be attending the same party, not all of the Halloween buzz though is centered around candy or fun dress up ideas.

One new and bizarre All Hallow’s Eve-based oddity that’s burning the jack-o-lantern at both ends, in terms of the amount of shares it’s getting, runs quite counter to that good natured ghoulishness. The dead body of a man on his balcony in Marina Del Rey, California went unreported for several days on account that other people in the neighborhood mistook the rotting corpse for one of those fun fake rotting corpses that people everywhere really like to decorate their balconies with–or something like that. We’ve heard of bony skeletons, but lifelike rotting corpses with a gunshot wound to the head don’t exactly scream “trick or treat” to the neighborhood children. We’ll humor that one particular neighborhood in California and say that having a rotting corpse on hand could come in a handy this Halloween. Here are our top five Halloween uses for anyone who just happens to have a rotting corpse sitting around the house:

1. Weekend At Bernie’s CostumeDress up as Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman from the popular 80’s comedy and pretend your rotting corpse is alive by manipulating his hands so that it looks like he’s waving to the neighborhood kids and drinking some hot apple cider.

2. Warning Sign- If you’re not going to be home this Halloween but still want the kiddies to have candy, you can sit your rotting corpse upright holding one of those plastic jack-o-lanterns full of candy. To make sure kids don’t take more than the alotted amount, leave a sign that says “this guy took more than two pieces of candy.”

3. Haunted House Prop-
Everyone and their mothers–or at least their mother’s children– loves going to Haunted Houses.  Normally though kids are so painfully aware about how fake all of the scare tactics thrown at them are, between spaghetti being used as intestines and what not. Solution: having a rotting corpse on hand will let them know how good they had it when they were feeling fake intestines. They’ll never take the experience for granted again.

4. Table- If you’re having a Halloween Party but are short on table space to put bowls of candy and other treats you’d like to put out for your guests, why not take two chairs of even height and balance your rotting corpse over the two.  Voila! You’ve got a decomposing table and plenty more surface area to rest those chips and empty cups.

5.  Date- Your former significant other is going to be at the Halloween party you’re planning to attend. You know she’s got a new man, but you’ve yet to move on and find someone else. Make her aware of just how much you don’t miss her by showing that even a rotting corpse can look hot in that sexy cat outfit she left in your closet after she moved out and broke your heart.

Alright, we’re not sure if anyone reading this has a rotting corpse floating around the house in your attic, or jammed into the closet, but if you do these are just a few ideas you might be able to pull off to make this Halloween special for both you and that thing you keep around for no reason that should probably be buried in a cemetery or cremated already–you extremely sick person.

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Hallowednesday

Posted by evankessler on November 2, 2007

This year, the spookiest day of all, Halloween, fell on a Wednesday. So of course there was more dressing up to be done. Very rarely has a Halloween passed where I did not don the uniform of another persona. This year it was a Summer Camp Waterfront Director. You may rember this character from the weekend recap where I had previously donned said uniform to celebrate Halloween Holiday. Well, Wednesday brought about a repeat performance when the folks at the Union Street Collective (or my apartment) threw a mini-Halloween gala.

It was a limited but spirited turnout as the six inhabitants of the aforementioned abode were present along with 9 to 12 other revelers. The highlights of the evening, save for the all around chill in the air due to both the weather and the general feeling of fright, were of course , the costumes! The EvanKessler.com award for best costume was a tie. The winners were Laura Bassett with her Larry The Cable Guy get up and Laura Renga with her version of Mystery (from VH1’s The Pick Up Artist).

Git ‘er Done!: Mystery Opens Up A Set On Larry The Cable Guy

There was plenty of fun being had and while I don’t really feel like giving the rundown. I’ll say that htere was plenty of drinking, pizza, and Gorilla Costume switching, not tomention the occasional outburst from our smoke machine. Yes, Halloween was swell. But don’t take it from me…take it from this visual representation of the fun.

The Jenny of Liberty

Dana Takes Out Her Frustration From Not Making The Final Cut of Bee Movie
.
Severed Hand Loves Tequila

Gorilla Mike

Peter Impersonates A Pilot and Steve Perry All While Doing The Monster Mash

Everyone Needs A Smoke Machine In Their Home

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Halloweekend II: The Reckoning

Posted by evankessler on October 31, 2007

Once again, the weekend recap is late and once again I apologize. However, I have been battling a tad bit of writers block since this book writing venture began….that much is immaterial to the events of this past weekend. I entitled it Halloweekend II, simply because last year I entitled Halloween Weekend, Halloweekend in the tradition of many a horror movie, this was to be it’s sequel.

The weekend began as innocently as the past few weekends began (though it never really descended into anything that would require a feeling of guilt), just another night at the Lighthouse swigging a few Buds and watching the hours roll by. The previous night Thea B and I and gone to see the New Pornographers put on a stellar show at Webster Hall. It was mostly enjoyable save for the obnoxious Six-foot-three superfan who felt he had to battle me for position despite me being 8 inches shorter than he. There’s one in every crowd and they always seem to end up several feet from me when I am in said crowd. This is a valid argument for never attending concert again but if the music is good enough it tends to win out.

Anyway, back to Friday… Me, Arby, Beers, lighthouse… Those are the essential details, if you missed them you didn’t miss much because this was pretty much all that Friday night entailed. Though there was the comical occurrence of the manager Erik, Arby, and Waymon (the cook) all taking a shot of tabasco sauce and 151. It was pretty stupid and all three of them while trying to prove their manliness would grow to regret their decision. Other than that Heather got mad at Arby for playing with the taps. Arby got drunk, we left before 1am…the end of Friday night.

Saturday, I awoke to sight of quite the downpour. It was relatively early at the time I chose to hop on out of bed and face the day. I had a few errands to run in relation to my Halloween costume, so I figured I’d knock those out before taking the time to be lazy…it seemed like the most effective way to enjoy the afternoon. I donned my Syracuse hoodie and my jeans and headed towards Duane Reade on the 7th Avenue and Flatbush. The missing pieces to my costume would hopefully be found there. Luckily for me the walk over would be a dry one as the rain had stopped. Upon my arrival,I scoured the shelves of the trusty neighborhood pharmacy in search of a clipboard and a whistle. I found a clipboard but it wasn’t one of those old school wooden ones. Instead it was some neon yellow plastic color which would was not the desired prop for my Camp Waterfront Director costume.

My next move was to the stationery store across the street. Unfortunately the rain had picked up quite a bit and I would be substantially wet before reaching my destination, despite its close proximity. I quickly took refuge inside and made my way through the store in search of my props. I found a clipboard after about 5 minutes as well as a legal pad to attach to it. I would need the paper for my general swim buddy sign up sheet. If people wanted to party tonight, they’d have to do so on the buddy system. I eventually found a whistle at the store too but it was a keychain and I wanted one that clipped to a lanyard around my neck for the costume to be perfect.

So my costume completion journey continued down Flatbush Avenue where I came to Triangle Sports at 5th Avenue. I was in and out of there in about 1 minute with a whistle and a lanyard in tow. From there it was back to my apartment to eat lunch and get into character. The last thing I needed for my character was a little zinc sunblock action on my nose. Unfortunately, none of the products I had in my apartment had the desired effect. I made one last venture around the corner and picked up some clear toothpaste to double for my final costume element. I was not aware of the subsequent slight burning sensation spreading toothpaste on my nose would cause but I dealt with it all night without bitching (so forgive me if I’m bitching now).

Before heading out to the city for the first Halloween Party I grabbed a burger with Arby at the subpar Park Cafe on 7th Ave. I honestly don’t know why we go back there. Oh yeah, it’s cheap and close. Straight from there I went home and got ready by showering and donning my costume. I emerged from my apartment around 8:45pm wearing a bathing suit, a short sleeved camp staff shirt, and flip flops, holding a clipboard. I marched right down to the 7 train passed a handful of people, none of which seemed dressed for Halloween.

I arrived just in time for the Q train and for people to stare at me as if they had no idea it was a night that people were having Halloween parties. I wasn’t uncomfortable though, I was kind of in character, ready to blow my whistle and tell them to get in the water.

It was about 9:30 when I arrived at the East Village abode of Jess S, Deb M, and Londa L. The party seemed to already be in full swing but there were a few folks occupied by the World Series, unconcerned with the goings on around them. Deb, Jess, and Londa all made a nice effort to dress their parts. Londa was dressed as Olive Oyl, Deb was Jem (from the 80’s cartoon) and Jess was Vicki from Small Wonder. Several people I did not recognize came up to me and said hello. They recognized me from the previous year when I brought Li’l Evan Kessler as my costume. I did not recognize them. It’s nearly impossible to recognize people you’ve only met in costume when they’re wearing a differrent costume. Actually, I’ll amend that statement to read it’s difficult to recognize anyone you don’t really know at all in costume.

Vicki From Small Wonder’s Mechanic Said She Shouldn’t Be Allowed In The Water

The party itself was okay. I didn’t know a great many people there and some that I knew best were completely entranced by the Sox. I was involved in several conversations but I sort of tried to hang with Jess, Deb, John, and Londa a little bit. Some of the staples I’m used to seeing at Jess and Deb’s parties were not there save for her friends Orli and Meg, both of whom kept me entertained for a while. The best costume was probably a tie between Jess and Meg, who came as Amy Winehouse. By the way, I still have no idea what the big effin’ deal about Amy Winehouse is. Every few years an artist comes along that everyone thinks is so great and they fade into obscurity. Does anyone know where Macy Gray is?

Anyway, there were a few awful costumes as well. Some girl was dressed in green, I think she was a leprechaun or something and on her tall dumb green hat she had taped a piece of paper that had the numbers 420 and 69 on it making it even dumber than it already was. I guess she was a leprechaun who liked to smoke and do it. Maybe she was just sounding her mating call instead of shouting “I’m so drunk”. I wish I would’ve asked what she was trying to do but I just didn’t think the answer would’ve been rewarding or interesting.

At around 12:15am I realized I was not talking to anyone and aimlessly wandering. It was at that point I decided to head back to Brooklyn to my old apartment and hang out at a party where I would more than likely know everyone. I said a quick goodbye to the hostesses and caught a cab down the street. It was one hell of a long cab ride and it was 12:50 when I finally made it back to the Slope.

By the time I got to Rob and Marty’s party it seemed to have quieted down. I was fine with that since the people left were some of my favorites. Rob his girlfriend Beth, Reva, Katey, Alice, Tara, Jason, Deirdre, Chris, Josh, Ali and Marty were all hanging in the living room drinking and just generally emanating good times. I cracked open a beer and joined the fray.

I’d Prefer If My Pilot Didn’t Enjoy A Cocktail

Bi-Curious George and The Man In The Yellow Hat

The Boss Spreads His Patriotic Message To The Crowd

Marty also continuously doled out tasty hors d’oeuvres which I probably had one too many of, but I couldn’t help myself. The party raged on until after 3am when after Marty gave out costume prizes he tried to get people to go out to the bars for last call. Rather than give in to temptation to drink more I packed up my clipboard and called it a night.

The next morning I awoke and felt full of food and beer. I wasn’t hungover, just overly full. I could barely move…and on top of that I had a bit of a cold. Rather than venture into the great wide open, Sunday was spent mostly in the comfort of my own bedroom watching football as the good lord intended.

So there you have it…my pre Halloween weekend. There’ll be plenty more to talk about after actual Halloween. I hope everyone has a spooky day, but I also hope no one gets murdered by a fictional murdering character like they have in the movies.

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Halloweekend

Posted by evankessler on October 30, 2006

We haven’t hit October 31st yet but the Halloween celebrations were in full swing this weekend. Having spent the earlier part of the week fretting over whether or not my planned costume would ever come to fruition, I arrived home Friday to find a mini-Evan puppet sitting on the kitchen counter all ready to go. Marty Dundics, I say kudos to you for your phenomenal showing in both the dependable roommate department and the artistic ingenuity department.

Marty hard at work on Mini-Evan





Having your own puppet is simply sensational. I highly recommend getting one. Marty doesn’t make them regularly but I’m sure you can go to his website and badger him to make one for you. Anyway, back to Friday night. I was absolutely delighted to have my own puppet and was ready to make the scene at my first halloween party as a bad ventriloquist. Unfortunately, before I headed back to Manhattan for Deb, Jess, and Londa’s Halloween Party, it started to rain and I had to put Li’l Evan Kessler in a bag. Part of me wanted to hone my act as I walked to the subway but instead i carried him very carefully making sure to not accidentally separate his head from his body. When I arrived at the party I was one of the first people there, which is pretty much my modus operandi (or for those in love with abbreviation M.O.). I was greeted by the roommates as well as several familiar faces, Anna M and Londa’s sisters. I think they were all dressed as sorority zombies or something and Jess was a golddigger.

People were immediately complimenting on my costume which I was half expecting. The other half of me thought people were going to be berating me for not really dressing up and just carrying something around as my costume. I have to admit, I can’t find fault in that reasoning.
As the evening wore on the party space got more and more crowded. It would’ve been wide open had it not been raining outside because the original plan was to push everyone out of the apartment and onto the terrace. An ill effect of the lack of personal space was that I kept having to lift puppet Evan up on high so as to not impede on people’s personal space, also it was too loud to really do a ventriloquist act. Puppet Evan was also a personal impediment because it turned from a manageable entity to a 15 inch behemoth whose dimensions I was completely not used to dealing with. At one point when I was entering the bathroom, while trying to avoid the obstacle of a skeleton inconveniently hung in the bathroom doorway, I moved puppet Evan towards the wall and knocked a small picture frame off the wall, shattering the glass on the bathroom floor. On my return from isolating the glass into a safe area, I nearly destroyed a picture in the kitchen but caught it before it went smashing to the ground. Let this be a lesson to all of the kids reading this…having your own puppet is fun, but it can also be dangerous. I spent much of later part of the party in an unpopulated area of the apartment conversing with Starling, Sarah, Maureen, and Mike B and having puppet Evan kiss people on the head. At the end of the party I was notified that I had won best costume. My prize was a 40 oz. budweiser and a halloween Pez dispenser. Unfortunately, I was too drunk to want to really want the 40, so I just took the Pez. Overall, it was an enjoyable night despite the small Puppet-astrophes. Maureen and I eventually split a cab home, though I have no idea what time that was.

Puppet Evan Cozies Up To Maureen

Rubbin’ Noses Like The Eskimoses

Having Your Own Puppet Means You Can Do This

….and this.

I woke up Saturday morning not exactly rarin’ to go for our pending Saturday night Brooklyn Halloween bash, but since it was my first party at my new apartment my anticipation was building by the minute. I cleaned my room in preparation which fortunately did not take as long as I estimated it would. I rearranged the wiring as well seeing as for the first several months that I’ve lived here I’ve had wires all over the place. It’s a wonder I didn’t trip more, not in an LSD way but it that way where you fall in your room and break your neck and one of your roommates you discovers you lying in pool of your own blood way. It was overall a pretty lazy saturday though leading up to the party. I got some Madden time in though which was valuable me time.

The first person to show up to the party was Reva followed by her friend from work, Mike. We had a pretty small crowd for awhile and then people slowly filtered in. Many of whom I did not know. The party was kind of odd though in the way that once my friends started showing up they were scattered at all ends of the apartment and I felt as though i didn’t spend that much time in the main room getting to meet other people. It’s not an awful thing, I kind of forget that that’s what hosting a party is like and I seem to remember conveniently the day after I’ve hosted a party at my abode. Nonetheless I had some quality conversations with Matt F, Marie L, Suli, Rebecca, Joe D, and others. Maureen, Laura B, Brian D, and Andrew M, made a brief appearance as a flight crew. The most creative costume has to go to Mackenzie and Dell who came as Jellyfish but their costumes were too big to keep around all night. They made a big entrance and pretty much put their costumes in Rob’s room for the rest of the night.

Reva the hamster, Marty the toga wearing guy, and Rebecca the librarian engage in costumed conversation

Mackenzie in her Jellyfish getup

Jason and Deirdre: Everyone’s Favorite Figure Skaters

In general, Mini-Evan and I got along much better than at the previous evening’s party. We didn’t knock anything off walls though we did have problems locking the bathroom with one hand, though going to the bathroom one handed was a piece of cake. There were many more compliments aimed at the puppet as well and we even did a mini routine that was very poorly executed. It was brief and went something like this.

Me: How are you doing tonight Mini-Evan?

Mini-Evan: How do you think I’m doing? You’re hand’s up my ass.

END SCENE

This costume was fun but I think for next halloween I have to be a character instead of myself I might be a sexy cat. The crowd would soon dwindle down to a few folks After the party emptied out a few of us went to Union Hall in costume, though I put on my jeans with
Puppet Evan still on my right hand, which proved to be a challenge. We stayed at Union Hall for a drink or two and I made small talk with a couple of strangers who inquired about Li’l Evan and we somehow ended up talking about VH1. I think Chris M and I were the last two of our group there and then we headed back to the apartment. I was completely unaware of the “Fall Back” time change but I guess that happened so I have no idea what time it actually was when we returned. Apparently I passed out with my music on full blast, my lights on and my door locked. I’m not quite sure how that happened or how I didn’t wake up sooner than 8am to turn off my lights and music. Furthermore, I never lock the door to my room…weird.

For the first half of Sunday afternoon I enjoyed watching the Giants soundly defeat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 17-3 and then I headed out to Manhattan for drinks with a few folks. After drinks, I strolled through the old neighborhood to take a peak at what was being done with the ol’ apartment. So far, nothing. It’s still in the same old crap condition except it looked as though there was some work being done to the restaurant downstairs from where I used to live. The upstairs however looked as though it was probably in worse condition than it was left. I should’ve taken a picture. One of the windows was smashed in and I can’t imagine the roof has held up in my old room with about 5 months worth of rain. It was starting to collapse just before I left. Oh well, what do I care, I don’t live there anymore.

After strolling by 271 Bleecker I stopped by Grey Dog and picked up my favorite sandwich for old times sake. Oh West Village how I miss you. Brooklyn is treating me well but alas she’s not you. I’m sure I’ll grow to love her just as much but we were together for almost 5 years and you don’t just forget all of the good times. Sigh. Alright time for another week at work and a mere 5 days until I turn 28. Wow. Am I old? According to late Aaliyah, “Age ain’t nothing but a number”. Actually I don’t know if she said that but that’s what one of her albums was called. True she was 14 at the time so what did she know.

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All Hallow’s Eve Weekend Eve

Posted by evankessler on October 27, 2006

Boo! Did I scare you? I bet you’re all spooked out from being All Hallow’s Eve Weekend Eve, A night where Evil can truly flourish. Muahahahaa. Are you scared? No, you’re probably not. You’re probably too busy preparing your costume. What are you going to be. What ever you do don’t go as “The Crow” or a “Sexy Devil”. What amazes me is that the crow came out about 12 years ago, give or take and people still thought it was cool. I’ve been saying this for awhile but last night on South Park Satan put an exclamation point on it.

Satan Says: “No Dressing As The Crow”.


The Sexy Devil or “The Girl of My Dreams”
Also off limits but sort of on limits is Steve Irwin. I know it’s kind of sick but several days ago my roommates and I were joking about going as The Crocodile Hunter but thought it was kind of wrong, and then as I watched South Park last night, they had the courage to tackle the Steve Irwin Holiday costume precisely as we had discussed it. If only I had a picture. It was priceless. Matt Stone and Trey Parker never cease to amaze me.

Yes, indeed. Halloween costumes are a hot topic…I enjoy hearing about people’s efforts to come up with the perfect costume. I’ve heard some amazing tales. I was talking to Kate W on the phone this weekend who told me that her sister had once gone as “a tree as seen from a moving vehicle”. I spoke to her sister Linnea the next day who then clarified that she actually had gone as “A Vision of the Forest from a Fast Moving Vehicle”. If that costume idea doesn’t make your Raggedy Ann and Andy costume look completely unimaginative then I don’t know what does. Alright, back to the story of halloween present. Earlier in the week I went to fabric stores in the garment district searching for foam for my halloween “disguise” which isn’t a disguise at all. It’s going to be more me than you can handle. Unfortunately, I purchased the wrong kind of foam to make my costume work. Lucky for me I have a roommate who was more than willing to assist me on my costume (read the words “assist me on” as “make”) as well as go out on a limb to help me purchase the components.

This evening, my roommate Marty, and I, focused on coloring one of the components using hair dye. Unfortunately for us, the hair dye did not work as we had planned and we will be forced to use plain ol’ paint in order to achieve the desired effect. I did however enjoy the several minutes I spent massaging hair dye into a clump of piillow stuffing. How often do you think someone massages hair dye into pillow stuffing. I think you’d be hard press to find an instance of it ever happening since the dawn of human existence. You must try it some time. On the down side, my hands smell like dye. I’d trade dye smelling hands for a unique experience anyday. Anyway, Project Halloween is well underway and we’re on the brink of another superb string of ritualistic pagan parties to celebrate giving candy to children so that they can get upset stomachs and leave us alone.

I hope everyone’s All Hallow’s Eve lives up to potential and maybe just maybe if you’re good you’ll wake up with a Sexy cat or devil in your bed the day after your party. I certainly hope to. Cheerio and I’ll see you in hell.

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