Evan Kessler Dot Com

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Posts Tagged ‘Glam metal’

Bret Michaels’ Ancient Chinese Proverbs

Posted by evankessler on December 28, 2010

Bret Michaels has now overtaken Confucius as the chief bearer of fortune cookie wisdom as evidenced by this sagacious tidbit I received with my chicken in garlic sauce and wonton soup on Christmas Day:

If my next fortune reads “The wind is for riding” or “Unskinny bop” I may stop ordering Chinese food altogether.



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Every Tony Awards Prop Has Its Thorn

Posted by evankessler on June 8, 2009

Every once in awhile amidst of a sea of opposing religious beliefs and practices, we are convinced that one true force rules the universe, a force known as karma.  It seems that when Bret Michaels began his run on Rock of Love nearly two years ago and began subsequently leveling the hopes and dreams of trashy women who fantasized about having an over-the-hill rocker boyfriend with a wig attached to a bandana for hair, he may have tossed that karma boomerang into the air.

Last night that projectile came humming back in Mr. Michaels general direction while the spotlight was on him and his blond weave.  The inexplicable Tony invitee was, for some reason, performing his  80’s smash hit “Nothing’ But A Good Time” with his bandmates in Poison when the hurt and pain of 1000 Rodeos, Ambres, and Daisies of love came smashing down on the hair band has been in the form of a stage set piece. It was, in a word, magical.  While we hope Mr. Michaels is okay so that he may resume telling us how his “awesome” harem of self-loathing girls with daddy issues make him so “turned on” on Rock of Love next season, we hope he’s learned that lady karma can be much more of a total bitch than that total bitch Lacey.



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