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Posts Tagged ‘election’

Political Prejections

Posted by evankessler on November 8, 2006

I’m watching the CNN election coverage right now and Wolf Blitzer keeps “prejecting” winners instead of projecting them. I can’t tell if he’s made up a new word that’s a combination of prediction and projecting or if he’s just mispronouncing the latter.

“I’m Prejecting No Comments on This Post”.

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I Am A Real American

Posted by evankessler on November 9, 2005


I took notice when the WWF superstars released an album and a hit song in the 80’s that stated “I am a real American. Fight for the rights of every man.” That’s why I went out to the polls today and voted my ass off. That being said, I wasn’t familiar with the majority of the people I was voting for. Although voting is a privilege of living in a democratic society I’d have to say while I’m technically doing my part, I’m not really doing my part. If I were doing my part I’d make it a point to know exactly where all of the candidates running for all of the offices stand on all of the issues. Instead, I suppose I’m like most Americans, voting for the big important office with barely sufficient knowledge and voting for the other offices based on party lines. I almost voted for former Subway shooter Bernard Goetz for Public Advocate or whatever position he was running for, for whatever party but I decided against it using my better judgement. He wasn’t going to win anyway. Though that’s exactly the kind of thinking that gets people accidentally elected.

Perhaps, I shouldn’t disclose so much about my voting practices. After all if I told you everyone I voted the idea of the secret ballot would be all for naught and my lever pulling may as well have been public announcement rather than behind a curtain. Sort of like during the 1984 presidential election when after my mom had voted for Walter Mondale I went over to Eric Wolk’s house and told him who my mom had voted for and my mom said that those ballots were secret and I shouldn’t tell anyone. I think that was also the same day she told me I could play in the car and I thought she said I could play on the car, so when she came out of the Wolk’s house I was sliding up and down the car’s front and rear windshield. I also remember thinking that my mom had made a mistake by not voting for Reagan because why wouldn’t you vote for the guy who’s already president? I remember tihinking it was funny that she had almost certainly voted for the loser. Yea, but I was a naïve child on both the political and car sliding fronts.

Anyway, it was a good day to be American and to take part in our tainted electoral system. It was the kind of day that makes you feel like you’ve really done something despite being unemployed and living off the taxpayers. I also involved America in protecting some of my intellectual property so I guess the day was doubly American for me from sea to shining sea.

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Election 2004

Posted by evankessler on November 3, 2004


Current State of Electoral Affairs Bush: 247 Kerry: 210 WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!!! More on that later, let me catch you up to speed on my daily affairs.
I woke up this morning at 8:45am (11/02/04) with Vote or Die in my head so much that I was thinking about the P. Diddy spoof from South Park all day. (http://www.southparkstudios.com/down/guide.html?id=808&min=2)

I even walked around with a toy megaphone singing it in people’s offices. After my morning routine I headed to my polling place and placed my vote for John Kerry for US President. It’s was almost impossible to feel bad about John Kerry’s chances if you’re standing in line at a polling place in New York City. There are plenty of people wearing Kerry-Edwards buttons and just talking negatively about Bush. If only New York were a microcosm of the United States.

Most of the day at work people were walking around shouting Vote or Die at each other, and the mood was generally optimistic. I was sitting at work reading the New York Post reading Page Six and read that a Porn Director and Porn Star would be giving out Free porn for people who had proof of voting at the Virgin Megastore after 6:30 pm. This struck me as really weird seeing as a music store in Times Square is not exactly a strictly adult environment that would have a Porn Signing, I mean, broadway shows such as Aida and The Lion King are right in that area and there’s a huge Toys ‘R’ Us two blocks down. Conversely there’s more porn shops and strip clubs than you can count on 8th avenue so I guess they cancel each other out. Anyway, my interest was piqued and vowed to at least check out the scene, in part because there was a CD I wanted anyway, and hey free porn. Why not?

As I got to Virgin at around 6:30 I found the Ray LaMontagne CD that had been recommended by Rob Goodman, and went downstairs to check out the signing. The line wasn’t that long so I just thought, what the hell, this’ll be funny and hey, free porn. Luckily I still had my proof of voter registration on me. The line to meet apparently legendary director Seymour Butts and Porn Starlet Mari Possa (they get so creative with the names) was an eclectic mix of people. In front of me was a Hispanic woman in her mid 50’s and behind me was a mid 40’s African American guy that looked like he really wanted some porn. Behind were two teenaged Mexican kids who were later carded and kicked off of the line. There was also a healthy dose of banker looking guys who just got out of the JP Morgan office and guys with their girlfriends.
After about 20 minutes I finally got to the front of the line and was staring straight at Mari Possa (Spanish for Butterfly). She asked me my name, we shook hands and I asked her how long of a tour they had been doing this for. She said five days and she said she was exhausted. I have to say, she was really cute. I really had no idea what to say in this situation I mean what do you say to the star of “Jamaican Me Horny” but I think I did a pretty good job. The situation was beyond awkward, I hadn’t seen any of her movies or anything, I didn’t even know she existed prior to this moment but I guess any amount of small talk would do. She signed my free copy of her movie and I moved on to Seymour Butts (keep laughing, because I am) who asked me if I had voted today. I said yes and asked him a question, which I can’t remember because I really didn’t care about the answer. He also signed my DVD and I moved on.
It was sort of a stupid fun thing to do and I wish someone else was with me at the time and I sort of felt like a loser but do you have a copy of Jamaican Me Horny with signature that say, “Dear Evan, My Tushy is yours! Mari Possa” and “Evan, All My Best, Seymour Butts.” I didn’t think so. Pretty funny stuff.

Adult Film Star Mari Possa

Another thing that I noticed was the store display for the signing. There were all of these really hardcore porn films with really raunchy names and on the other side of the display there were animated holiday movies for kids. Quite the dichotomy one might say.

As I walked towards the subway down broadway, I ran into my friend Kim Gatewood from Syracuse who was doing a one person comedy show tonight and gave me a flyer. I told her I would go some other time because I wanted to watch the election results.

Since arriving home, my optimism about John Kerry’s presidential hopes has diminished by the hour. I can’t believe the people of this fucking country are voting for George Bush. I really want to go off on a tangent but I don’t have the strength right now. President Bush has shown beyond all reasonable doubt that he is not a trustworthy leader of the people. He had always failed in every endeavor prior to obtaining the Presidency and continues to drive the country and the world into dire straits. Shame on our country for allowing such a travesty if the current electoral count holds up to result in a victory for Bush. The country will be mired in partisan bickering for 4 more years. 4 more years of a growing deficit and failing economy, 4 more years or international infamy, 4 more years of being misled and lied to. 4 more years if we’re lucky to make it that long. Goodnight, and I hope things are different tomorrow but I’m not too optimistic. Way to end on a bright note.

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Debate #3

Posted by evankessler on October 14, 2004


Tonight was Presidential Debate #3 in the party town of Tempe, Arizona and I don’t know if it’s just me, but each successive debate just seems like a rerun of the other. Each candidate uses the same lines, and I get more tired of hearing them not say anything. That being said, I think at least Kerry seems to outline his policies more. Bush just tries to trumpet his accomplishments, which may or may not have occurred. Probably the most telling moment out of the three debates was during the town hall formatted debate in which a member of the audience had asked him to identify three mistakes. Instead of showing humanity, he showed stubbornness and talked about things that he has done that were not mistakes. This is a person who will never learn from his experiences, he’ll just press on with what he feels is right and will fail to recognize the harm his actions have on other people, and I for one cannot vote for someone who refuses to take any accountability for the effects of his actions. So, come November 2nd, I hope anyone reading this will vote for John Kerry. He may be an ugly dude, but he’ll be a better president than George W. Bush.

Wow, okay, enough of politics. Anyway, I’ve spent pretty much all of this week in so I don’t have much in the way of excitement other than watching the debate. I feel as though the last two weeks have been devoid of social activity. I feel as though I have been very introverted. I think for the most part other people aren’t going out as much. I spoke to Jessica Smith on the phone Tuesday night and she echoed that she hadn’t really done anything either. I think the reason for people’s hesitancy to go out on the town is pretty simple. Everyone is sort of bummed that it’s now getting colder and realize that they have to wear a jacket. This serves as an immediate deterrent for only a couple of weeks ago, it was shorts and a t shirt and you’re ready to go. It was the ultimate in comfort. Summer turns to fall and everyone goes into shock that it’s jacket weather so you start to hear the words, “it’s so frickin’ cold outside” even though it’s only 59. Well, get ready people, its going to be much colder in the not so distant future. I propose that it’s time we start to get off our asses and warm ourselves up with some liquor. Who’s in? I’m hitting up Dark Light or whatever the held it’s called on Thursday. I know that place sucks and has shitty music, but my friends Sierra and Stacey are bartending. Let’s go!!! We can go somewhere better afterwards.

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