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Posts Tagged ‘Douchebags’

The Nerds Are Alright

Posted by evankessler on May 30, 2008

In the course of one’s lifetime, most human beings will see more than their fair share of annoying commercial campaigns. I for one get my fill on a nightly basis every time I tune in to watch a Mets Game. This one activity has provided me with literally hundreds of moments where my viewing patience has been tried. From The NY Smoker’s Quitline to Select Dental all the way to Yankee fans regularly pining over the fact that Derek Jeter has an edge, the advertising selection aired by the flagship network of the New York Mets is downright maddening.

That being said, one ad campaign that has continued to plague nearly any channel I’ve had the misfortune to view over the past year is the campaign for cellular carrier Alltel Wireless. Often times it seems that no matter what channel I flip to, each commercial break will undoubtedly feature a clip about the misfortunes of four nerds who are plagued by their cellular carrier’s inability to compete with the calling plans offered by Alltel wireless. Normally, such a commercial might be as innocuous as any car ad featuring a sportscar tokyo drifting down a mountain road. However, the thing that incites my ire when it comes to Alltel Wireless is their company representative, Chad.

Chad is the All-american ideal. He’s the trusty, friendly, high school quarterback honor student who gets into Yale whereas the four dungeon and dragon playing dorks are inferior, inept and friendless. I think Alltell has got it backwards. Chad should not be their spokesperson ideal. I don’t know anyone who identifies with Chad. Chad doesn’t exist, he’s the embodiment of too good to be true. If he does exist, he’s hanging out with his fellow douchebags Kip, Chet, Chip, and Brad, trying to figure out when they can ambush the nerds andgive them wedgies, not invite them into his circle.

If I learned anything from the 1984 film Revenge of The Nerds, it’s that nerds can be heroes, because there’s a little nerd in all of us. And as a wise nerd once said, “no one’s really gonna be free until nerd persecution ends”. Alltel Wireless tear down that ad campaign!!! Not because I’m offended…just because it’s on way too much and it sucks and it probably makes people more annoyed than it actually makes them consider using your product. Did I mention it’s on way too much?

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Cocks for Smart People

Posted by evankessler on March 5, 2007

New Trend Alert:

Remember back in the 90’s when douchebags were wearing “Cocks” hats? I do too. It was quite unfortunate. In any case I’ve decided to start a similar new trend, only for smart people.
Yesterday, for no apparent reason Whittier College in California popped up in my brain and I immediately wondered what their merchandise looked like.

After a little research I came upon their bookstore site and found these shirts:

I was relieved there was nothing ornate and silly to the t-shirt design and decided that I, Evan Kessler, would start a trend by ordering one of these shirts. So, It is with much pleasure that I declare the hot new trend for smart people is the simple Whittier t-shirt. Don’t be the last on the bandwagon.

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