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Posts Tagged ‘Derek Jeter’

The Nerds Are Alright

Posted by evankessler on May 30, 2008

In the course of one’s lifetime, most human beings will see more than their fair share of annoying commercial campaigns. I for one get my fill on a nightly basis every time I tune in to watch a Mets Game. This one activity has provided me with literally hundreds of moments where my viewing patience has been tried. From The NY Smoker’s Quitline to Select Dental all the way to Yankee fans regularly pining over the fact that Derek Jeter has an edge, the advertising selection aired by the flagship network of the New York Mets is downright maddening.

That being said, one ad campaign that has continued to plague nearly any channel I’ve had the misfortune to view over the past year is the campaign for cellular carrier Alltel Wireless. Often times it seems that no matter what channel I flip to, each commercial break will undoubtedly feature a clip about the misfortunes of four nerds who are plagued by their cellular carrier’s inability to compete with the calling plans offered by Alltel wireless. Normally, such a commercial might be as innocuous as any car ad featuring a sportscar tokyo drifting down a mountain road. However, the thing that incites my ire when it comes to Alltel Wireless is their company representative, Chad.

Chad is the All-american ideal. He’s the trusty, friendly, high school quarterback honor student who gets into Yale whereas the four dungeon and dragon playing dorks are inferior, inept and friendless. I think Alltell has got it backwards. Chad should not be their spokesperson ideal. I don’t know anyone who identifies with Chad. Chad doesn’t exist, he’s the embodiment of too good to be true. If he does exist, he’s hanging out with his fellow douchebags Kip, Chet, Chip, and Brad, trying to figure out when they can ambush the nerds andgive them wedgies, not invite them into his circle.

If I learned anything from the 1984 film Revenge of The Nerds, it’s that nerds can be heroes, because there’s a little nerd in all of us. And as a wise nerd once said, “no one’s really gonna be free until nerd persecution ends”. Alltel Wireless tear down that ad campaign!!! Not because I’m offended…just because it’s on way too much and it sucks and it probably makes people more annoyed than it actually makes them consider using your product. Did I mention it’s on way too much?

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Separated At Birth

Posted by evankessler on September 19, 2006

I was watching the sports this evening and it occurred to me that the following folks may have been separated at birth. Follow along below:


You may not see it right now but watch a Jacksonville Jaguars game and I promise you may just see the uncanny resemblence Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio bears to Shooter McGavin.


Maybe you can’t tell with the hat on but Mets slugger Carlos Delgado is pretty much a dead ringer for Darius “Hootie” Rucker.

In other news, I have a proposition for the New York Post. I think they should run a column every Sunday called “Saturday Night with Jeter and Wright” where they follow Derek Jeter and David Wright around New York City in a season long competition over who can get the most ladies. Even though I hate Jeter I think he would win at this point but give Wright a year or two and it’ll be close. This would be motivation for me to pick up the Sunday post without fail every weekend.

Alright, enough sports stuff, it’s late and I must sleep.

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