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Archive for the ‘South Park’ Category

All Hallow’s Eve Weekend Eve

Posted by evankessler on October 27, 2006

Boo! Did I scare you? I bet you’re all spooked out from being All Hallow’s Eve Weekend Eve, A night where Evil can truly flourish. Muahahahaa. Are you scared? No, you’re probably not. You’re probably too busy preparing your costume. What are you going to be. What ever you do don’t go as “The Crow” or a “Sexy Devil”. What amazes me is that the crow came out about 12 years ago, give or take and people still thought it was cool. I’ve been saying this for awhile but last night on South Park Satan put an exclamation point on it.

Satan Says: “No Dressing As The Crow”.


The Sexy Devil or “The Girl of My Dreams”
Also off limits but sort of on limits is Steve Irwin. I know it’s kind of sick but several days ago my roommates and I were joking about going as The Crocodile Hunter but thought it was kind of wrong, and then as I watched South Park last night, they had the courage to tackle the Steve Irwin Holiday costume precisely as we had discussed it. If only I had a picture. It was priceless. Matt Stone and Trey Parker never cease to amaze me.

Yes, indeed. Halloween costumes are a hot topic…I enjoy hearing about people’s efforts to come up with the perfect costume. I’ve heard some amazing tales. I was talking to Kate W on the phone this weekend who told me that her sister had once gone as “a tree as seen from a moving vehicle”. I spoke to her sister Linnea the next day who then clarified that she actually had gone as “A Vision of the Forest from a Fast Moving Vehicle”. If that costume idea doesn’t make your Raggedy Ann and Andy costume look completely unimaginative then I don’t know what does. Alright, back to the story of halloween present. Earlier in the week I went to fabric stores in the garment district searching for foam for my halloween “disguise” which isn’t a disguise at all. It’s going to be more me than you can handle. Unfortunately, I purchased the wrong kind of foam to make my costume work. Lucky for me I have a roommate who was more than willing to assist me on my costume (read the words “assist me on” as “make”) as well as go out on a limb to help me purchase the components.

This evening, my roommate Marty, and I, focused on coloring one of the components using hair dye. Unfortunately for us, the hair dye did not work as we had planned and we will be forced to use plain ol’ paint in order to achieve the desired effect. I did however enjoy the several minutes I spent massaging hair dye into a clump of piillow stuffing. How often do you think someone massages hair dye into pillow stuffing. I think you’d be hard press to find an instance of it ever happening since the dawn of human existence. You must try it some time. On the down side, my hands smell like dye. I’d trade dye smelling hands for a unique experience anyday. Anyway, Project Halloween is well underway and we’re on the brink of another superb string of ritualistic pagan parties to celebrate giving candy to children so that they can get upset stomachs and leave us alone.

I hope everyone’s All Hallow’s Eve lives up to potential and maybe just maybe if you’re good you’ll wake up with a Sexy cat or devil in your bed the day after your party. I certainly hope to. Cheerio and I’ll see you in hell.

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What Was I Thinking?

Posted by evankessler on October 4, 2005

Sometimes blind devotion to this website leads to embarrassingly inane posts such as last night’s debacle. I arrived home in the wee hours of the morning and did not have my priorities straight.
They should’ve been as follows:
1) Finish Pepperoni Roll
2) Sleep

Instead it went:
1) Finish Pepperoni Roll
2) Drunken conversation with Matt W
3) Blog
4) Put up new poll question and search for pictures for poll
5) Sleep

As you can see there were about three extra steps than were necessary. I could have easily recapped my weekend in more detail and with better punctuation. However, I suppose I should leave the posting below as an example of what happens in said situation so history does not allow my ineptitude to repeat itself on such a grand scale. Perhaps, I’m overreacting, but I’m not a big fan of misspelling words and run-on sentences with poor punctuation. I could easily go back and fix it but that would put up a façade of drunken perfection, which I do not claim to have achieved.

A quick hit note on a couple (meaning two) of observations I made this weekend.

1) Actors are different animals than most human beings. I don’t think this is a good or bad thing, but as we auditioned people this weekend I just thought that the people we were auditioning were just in a completely different plane of existence. I’m not putting them on a pedestal or looking down at them, I just can’t imagine handing someone my resume highlighting my abilities to do karate (blue belt) or monkey impressions.

2) I love Comedy Central for such wonderful programs as The Daily Show and South Park, and Stella but I think they need to raise their standards a bit. I’m not just talking about the debacles that are Blue Collar TV, Mad TV and Mind of Mencia. I turned on the channel this Saturday Afternoon to find the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights. I guess my point here is, if Comedy Central is going to show movies, they should be funny movies because it’s a comedy channel. Oh, and I see no reason they can’t start airing episodes of The State. Seriously, someone has to get on the ball with this.

So, yeah those are my thoughts that stand out from over the weekend. Today, going into work I had one of those elevator moments where everyone talks about how they can’t believe it’s Monday again and they hope the week goes fast. I think the “day of the week” conversation is a pretty strong argument against going to work. It’s probably the most pathetic conversation piece next to the “I don’t know you but it’s really warm out today” weather conversation with someone who works on the same floor as you. If I never had to have any of those conversations again it would be too soon, but at the same time, I think going into work each day breeds the same kind of boring daily routine that leaves you nothing better to talk about than what the weather you just saw outside is. I’m sure I’ve even started a few of these conversations whilst staggering through my zombie like work week trance, so I’m not exactly ahead of the pack.

Anyway, work was okay today. I had to get things ready for edit tomorrow that may or may not get cut short by Rosh Hashannah dinner in Rockland. Oh yeah, Happy Jew New Year. How did I celebrate my Jew New Year you ask? I went to go see Earl Pickens play at the CBGB Gallery. Jewish New Year and Country Music, quite the time honored tradition. It was a good little show, with about 15-20 folks looking on. He did a good mix of stuff from his album, new songs, and old favorites. It was on ly a 40 minute set. Earl is playing Nashville on October 24th and I think I’m going to try to fly down there with John Vacanti and catch the two gigs he’ll be doing. My job will be over by then so I won’t miss any work. I also learned today, that I can claim unemployment insurance after my Freelance gig is over. Hallelujah!!! I accidentally just hit the word count button on the toolbar and it said I’ve written 293 pages. That’s a lot of pages. So yeah, I’m going to stop here because I don’t want to reach 300 tonight.

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Out of Routine

Posted by evankessler on April 28, 2005

First of all I wanted to say that the South Park where they discover that Earth is actually one big intergalactic reality show is one of the funniest South Park episodes of all time and has one of my favorite characters of all time. What’s not funny about a Giant Taco that poops ice cream? Every time the ice cream comes out I laugh and laugh. Also the idea that all of the different nationalities and species on earth are actually from other planets and were put together on the same planet so that zany hijinx like wars and famine and love and happiness could ensue solely for the entertainment of the universe is a genius concept.

Okay, enough about that South Park, I really didn’t have much to write about though it has been a non-routine last two days seeing as I usually just go to the gym after work. Yesterday after work I went out with Jaime W for dinner. I hadn’t seen Jaime since probably November when she came back from England for her friend Shohini’s wedding. I think she’d been living in England since August or September and now she’s finally back and I’m glad. I really had an enjoyable time catching up with Jaime. She’s one of my favorite people to talk to, in general and having an 6 month gap with of not talking and exchanging 2 emails at the most definitely leaves something to be desired. I completely regret not taking time off from work to visit her over there. If there’s one thing I could’ve used it’s a vacation. I really need a vacation this summer, I’m either going to go to Italy, Czech Republic, Iceland, Vegas, LA, or somewhere else completely unforeseen. In my ideal situation I’d go to Italy, in August just before my friend Jack’s wedding and get a certain person I know there (hint) to go on an adventure with me to the Czech Republic. That’s not something I’m counting on though seeing as I think I need to take a vacation way before August because that is a long way off and I need a major break from the routine sooner rather than later. So I might just go to one of the aforementioned places sometime in the next few months. Wow, what a solid plan. Anyone want to take a trip with me soon? Email me. It could be a long drive or flight or boat cruise, I just need some kind of excursion.

Sorry for that “get me out of here now” tangent. It’s just been awhile since I’ve been anywhere, save for New Orleans 2 winters ago. Today was one of those days that made me realize just how long it’s been though. I was at work til 7:45 and decided again to break the usual routine of going to the gym because it was too late, or at least that’s what I wanted my excuse to myself to be. Not that I should need to give myself excuses. Anyway, I just decided to walk around a bit in my neighborhood. I stopped off and got the new Ben Folds album at Tower and got some Pita at the Pita Pit. I’ve already massively failed the kosher for Passover test so why fight it? Leavened bread it is! I didn’t totally violate my Wednesday routine though, I made it home in time for South Park and the daily show and here I am blogging away. I wasn’t even going to blog today. I was just going to leave it be til tomorrow. I think I’m addicted to keeping my three readers updated about the mundane details of my life. Well, I’d like to thank those three people for remaining interested because I’m almost up to 3000 hits, but no merchandise sold. Hip Hip Hooray!!! Viva Capatalism and my American dream!!!

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Beginning To See The Light

Posted by evankessler on April 7, 2005

Ladies and Gentleman, spring is upon us. It’s time to bask in the warm glow of the sun before the humidity sets in and you can’t wait to be near an air conditioner. We had a beautiful day here in the NYC. Temperatures got up to 69 degrees, the sun was shining and I didn’t have to wear a jacket. Is there anything better than short sleeve weather? I think not. I went for two walks today during work, one to ninth avenue for lunch and one to get ice cream around 4pm. I feel like a covered the basics of taking advantage of spring weather during the work day. The only thing I missed out on was having a drink at an outdoor café or something. I know what you’re thinking, “What the hell do you do at work all day that you have time for this?” Well the answer is, I actually had a pretty full day of work. I wasn’t in edit today but I did interview Mo Rocca for the 2nd time since last Tuesday and I was covering for my producer who was out of the office, so there was plenty to keep me busy. However, I wasn’t going to let the work day keep me from enjoying the nicest day of the year so far, I did what I could to take advantage of it. Besides, the rest of my day after work was pretty lacking.

When I got home I stared blankly at the computer screen for several minutes watching the computer play by play of the Mets vs. Reds since they’re not airing it on TV due to the Cablevision – Time Warner dispute and since I haven’t set up my AM radio antenna to actually listen to the game. They update the website about every 60 seconds and sometimes its not completely caught up to the came action and the screen will read 2 balls and 2 strikes for 3 minutes. It’s basically slow torture. After about 15 minutes and one half of an inning, I realized I had to get out of the house or I’d go insane. I took a walk to Tower Records and bought 3 albums. I’m addicted to buying CD’s. I haven’t even got through the other 3 or 4 CD’s I’ve bought in the last few weeks.

By the time I got back it was the 6th inning and the Mets were losing 5-3 but I was determined to ride out the rest of the game or at least sit there until I got way too bored to keep following the game this way. I made it all the way til the 8th inning but luckily a new episode of South Park came on at 10pm and I gravitated away from the computer and back towards the TV. Ironically, the South Park episode was basically about how boring baseball is.

So that’s my night in all of it’s excitement and glory. I haven’t gone out drinking since Friday. Weird, I think that’s some sort of record. I’m going to call Guinness and have them check.
Oh, just another thought. I was reading a news article today that the rapper C-Murder (real name Corey Miller) was changing his stage name to C Miller. The reason for this is that several months ago he was convicted for 2nd degree murder (how ironic) and said that his name was ruining his chances for a 2nd appeal. As if calling yourself C-Murder isn’t idiotic enough, it took him until after his conviction and the failure of his appeal to figure out that the name C-Murder doesn’t sound so good in court.

C-Murderer?

You’d think his lawyer might have recommended this name change beforehand. Changing his name now seems like a moot point. If I went to prison for murder (knock on wood) I think a name like C-Murder might keep me a little safer in the showers and prison yard more so than C Miller would. Just a thought I had. Okay, I’m done. Goodnight.

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I STAND CORRECTED

Posted by evankessler on July 19, 2004

The #1 Most Outrageous South Park Episode: Scott Tenorman Must Die

Last night’s post was incorrect. I thought they had already counted down to the #1 most outrageous South Park. Turns out I was wrong. I just finished watching #1 and they hit the nail on the head, to speak in clichéd terms. The winner was the episode where Radiohead guest starred. If you haven’t seen this, I don’t want to spoil it for you so just keep watching Comedy Central until you see it again or wait til that season comes out on DVD. Though other candidates I was hoping to see at #1 the “Seapeople” episode and the Stem Cell research where Cartman tries to unload the shipment of fetuses.

As for my activities of the day, It was a pretty chill Sunday, I went to see Anchorman with Jess Smith. I’m not really sure how much I liked it. I didn’t hate it. It was a funny movie but I think I was expecting more. It’s probably one of those movies that you’ll think is much funnier if you see it again. If I were to give a review I’d say 2 and a half stars. The rest of the day I went to the gym, ate Lasagna for dinner as prepared by Sean Maddison, and watched the Big Lebowski and South Park. It was almost the perfect lazy Sunday with the exception of the going to the gym part.

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SIREN & SOUTH PARK

Posted by evankessler on July 18, 2004

So before I get to this past day, I guess I’ll do a little recap of Friday, even though I don’t really remember much of it. Erica Bryndza and Rob Degrezia held a joint birthday party at Abaya on E. Houston St. It was an excellent work gathering and I think all I can say about it is I think most of us spent a lot of money and got really drunk on $6 beer and drinks that were definitely more expensive. It was cool to see former VH1er David Heyward out. I haven’t seen him in awhile. I think we started the whole rubber band fight craze when we were both seated in the pit. Good times. We partied until 3 something in the AM and then a couple of us got some Ray’s pizza.

This morning (afternoon) I woke up at around 12:05pm and after talking with Bess Sobota decided to head down to the Siren Festival on Coney Island at around 2:30. Beforehand I got in some quality roof time though.

The train ride with Bess and her sister took about an hour and as soon as we got there at 3:30 we headed straight to Nathan’s for some hot dogs. For those who don’t know, the original Nathan’s was in Coney Island so if you’re in Coney Island you have to go to Nathan’s. I partook not once, but twice.

The Siren Festival is a yearly concert put on by the Village Voice featuring a bunch of bands on 2 stages from 12-9. Since, I didn’t know most of the bands who were playing I didn’t have any bands I planned on seeing, I just planned on watching a couple of them. So I caught some of TV On The Radio, Electric Six, and Mission of Burma. Most of the day was just spent hanging out with friends in the beautiful weather. I feel like a large portion of the people I know in NY were on Coney Island for the show. I ran into, Rob Goodman, Marty Dundics, Reva Goldberg, Samantha Hahn, Sean Maddison, Liz Allen, Rachel Myers, Liz Schroeter, Nicole Johnson, Rich Mai, Joe Dworkin, Greg Altman, Marissa Brotspies, Jaime Greenberg, Laura Renga and my friend Marisa’s who’s last name escapes me at the moment.

I spent most of the day split between hanging with Bess, and with Joe and Rich. The concert was an good as last year because I didn’t really care about who was playing. I left around 8:15 and got back around 9:30pm.

When I got home I turned on comedy central and behold, they were showing the 25 most outrageous episodes of South Park ever. I was set for the night. The first one I saw was of my favorite episodes ever, the classic Jennifer Lopez episode where Cartman makes a Jennifer Lopez hand puppet. That was my costume for Halloween last year. The #3 most outrageous should have been #1 though, it was the Lemmiwinks episode where Mr. Garrison tries to get fired for being gay and the kids get sent to Tolerance camp. I think that has to be the best episode ever and it may be the most wrong thing ever shown on television. Instead #’s 1 and 2 were the Who is Cartman’s dad two parter which I don’t find to be nearly as outrageous but I don’t get to make the call on that.

I’m so glad for the South Park marathon though. It’s the perfect non-productive weekend evening. Yes folks, just because it’s a weekend evening doesn’t mean you have to drink. There’s plenty of other days during the week to do that.

OK, Now they’re showing the South Park Movie uncensored. I may be up to 3:30am just watching South Park and I’m perfectly okay with that.

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