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The Home of the Brave

Archive for April, 2011

Enjoying the Easter Bunny?

Posted by evankessler on April 24, 2011

I saw this sign at a butcher shop. I didn't know eating the Easter Bunny was a thing. Happy Easter, enjoy your cooked Bunny.

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Posted in holidays | Leave a Comment »

The Modest Beginnings of a Great Orator

Posted by evankessler on April 20, 2011

Getting a reputation as a great orator is as simple as making but a few memorable speeches. While my reputation for delivering inspirational speeches to crowds of people who would go onto lead/leave nations has long since been earned thanks to inspiring gems like the “Let’s go to the food court” speech at Nanuet Mall in 1992, the “I had a crazy dream last night” address at the Sadler Dining Hall  circa 1998, and the “Internships Are Important” monologue delivered before an enrapt class of Seniors at Mepham High School in the late winter of 2011, the fact remains that all elocution and bombast-related  legend must have it’s point of origin. Recently, I stumbled upon mine own.

Thumbing through the contents of the bedroom drawer in my childhood home, I came upon the first speech I ever delivered to a captive audience. Indeed there was something presidential about it, as it helped me to get elected to the highest political office in Mrs. Hutt’s 1st Grade Class at Lime Kiln Elementary School.  Below are its cherished contents:

"Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down That Wall!"

While my core values from that period have remained in tact, I more freely associate the regulatory policies discouraging the running in the classroom and throwing of paper airplanes with the Democratic Party instead of the Republican Party– which is listed above as my affiliation circa 1985. Regardless of which party line I was towing, it goes without saying that my rousing speech and campaign platform listed above, along with the slogan “Kess is Best,” afforded me a landslide victory in the election and helped mold me into the successful person I am today.

Posted in Patriotism, Politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

…State Farm is There

Posted by evankessler on April 14, 2011

This photo essay is the follow up to a previous post entitled, “Like A Good Neighbor…” It has been made possible by Mile End Delicatessen in Boerum Hill;  Mile End Delicatessen, they’ve got the whole mishpucha.

AND

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there…with some poutine.

and

READERS LIKE YOU.

Welcome to Mile End Delicatessen in the Heart of Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

The Poutine sounds good, I'll have that!

Where is this Poutine I've heard so much about? Not having it makes me sad.

What has two thumbs and a dish of Poutine? This guy!

Seriously, how delicious does that Poutine look?

Let Me At It!

So...full...of...poutine...good neighbor...

Posted in Advertising, Brooklyn, food, humor, Internet, Social Media | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

An EK Original

Posted by evankessler on April 12, 2011

I just painted this. Thinking about putting it up on ebay. How much do you think it can fetch at auction? I’m pretty sure it’s going to be worth a lot of money someday.

Title: Alternate Dimension (watercolor on paper) EK 2011

Posted in art, Ebay | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Like A Good Neighbor…

Posted by evankessler on April 12, 2011

Since the tail end of 2010, State Farm Insurance has bombarded millions of viewers, myself include, with a series of absurd commercials that feature people getting free stuff because of a “magic jingle.”  They seem to pop up during every sporting event commercial break or commercial break during my favorite network shows just to pick at my last nerve. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then just observe below:

and

Now besides being equally grating whether you’re seeing these ads for the 1st or 281st time, my main point of contention lies not with the stabby feeling I get everytime I hear that woman say “with a new boyfriend” while waiting for the top of the 4th inning to start, rather it’s the fact that these commercials seem like a gross misrepresentation of what an insurance company does.

After all, you can’t just call on an insurance company and they’ll magically make a hot tub or sandwich appear. Or can you?

Over the past few days my main point of contention with the State Farm campaign has been put to the test thanks to an interaction over Twitter. It all began with one innocent tweet while watching the Mets game, a knee jerk reaction to seeing a commercial I loathe for what felt like the 342,000th time. I was compelled to lightly harangue the brand via tweet with the most bizarre request imaginable.

Now, I do not know why I chose Poutine, but the bizarre request sparked a conversation between myself and the brand that played out over the span of nearly a week and a half. It went as follows:

So there it was, a 21 tweet long interaction (or 20 if you count the one about the Latin Billboard awards that wasn’t directed to me at all) between myself and State Farm Insurance. I didn’t think much would come of it. I thought it would go on a bit longer and maybe result in some poutine, but probably not. That is, until I received a Direct Message via twitter from Mile End Deli on Hoyt St. in Brooklyn notifiying me that State Farm had given me a credit at their establishment.

I’m still quite flabbergasted by the result of all of that silly tweeting, but I have a new found respect for the folks at State Farm Insurance; not just because they’re picking up my tab for Poutine, but because of the fact that even though their commercials are a bit ridiculous, they’re going the extra mile to back up their brand claims and interact with potential customers all the while maintaining a healthy sense of humor. State Farm Insurance didn’t have to magically appear in front of someone with too much time on their hands with some poutine, but they did.

Now if I could just get State Farm insurance agent to appear with some employment. Well, why don’t I try? “Like a good neighbor…State Farm is there…with a new job.”

Posted in Advertising, Social Media, Social Networking | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »