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The EvanKessler.com Guerrilla Interview: Abdullah Saeed

Posted by evankessler on April 15, 2010

It’s been a long while since I’ve engaged in one of the earliest EvanKessler.com traditions, that of the Guerrilla Interview.  The way it works is, I just start interviewing someone whether or not they’re aware that I’m interviewing them. Almost always the targets are close friends, but sometimes they’re not…but then they eventually grow to be close friends because I’m just that sort of guy.

Today’s subject is one Abdullah Saeed.  Abdullah is a freelance writer.  We’ve both been employed as bloggers for OneRiot and JoshSpear.com. We first met several years ago through Abdullah’s brother Ahmad, who is another good friend of mine.  Abdullah is not only a talented writer, but also a talented musician and a DJ/producer-type.  Currently he’s embarking on “Adventures in Pork“, a blog where he repeatedly confronts a taboo long-forbidden by the law of Islam that is the consumption of pig products.  It’s a rather enthralling read. He’s also one of two main ingredients in the Taqwacore country-punk outfit based out of Philly, Sunny Ali & The Kid.

The conversation began over GChat as Abdullah was notifying me of a new column he wrote for a Taqwacore Webzine.  After paying him a few compliments, I quickly turned the tables. The following is a slightly edited transcript of the conversation or the latest installment of the EvanKessler.com Guerrilla Interview:
Abdullah Saeed: Yo, check this out, new column.
EK.com: Excellent, only comment is a grammar one.
AS: Whats that?
EK.com: When you put “self” before a word you’re going to have to throw a hyphen in there.
AS: Ah,thanks.
EK.com: I smell a 2nd Fatwa.
AS: Hahahahahaha, still waiting on a first.
EK.com: You should hold the Fatwa Awards for Muslims who have gone against the religious mainstream.
AS: Ha! Wow that’s a good idea.
EK.com: Indeed. I just like the word “Fatwa.”
AS: ’tis a good word
EK.com: So how does it feel to have the entire Muslim population calling for your head?
AS: A little congested, actually.
EK.com: Can you do me a favor?
AS: Sure.
EK.com: Can you draw me a photo of Mohammed?
AS: Whoooaaa,
EK.com: Or a picture, while you’re at it.
AS: Are you testing my faith?
EK.com: No, I’m just trying to line you up for another Fatwa.
AS: Hahaha. Wow dude, you seriously just made me think for a second.
EK.com: That’s what I do…I make people think.
EK.com: So Mr. Abdullah Saeed tell me, what is the greatest adventure you’ve ever had in pork?
AS: I f%*ed a pig last weekend.
EK.com: Well, did you cook it and eat it afterwards?
AS: Yes
EK.com: Is bestiality grounds for a Fatwa?
AS: Sure, why not? Bam! Fatwa number 3.
EK.com: I thought we were on 4 by now, but seriously folks…best pork experience so far?
AS: ummm, Pork Belly, bbq style.
EK.com: That sounds tasty. How would you describe your music?
EK.com: In six words or less…I’m all for brevity.
AS: Sounds like…two honorable gentleman with instruments
EK.com: Were you counting “sounds like” as part of your description? If so, you’ve gone over the imposed six-word limit. You are horrible at following instructions.
EK.com: How would you describe my music?
AS: Two honorable straight gentleman with instruments, although, your music I would describe as electro-fuzz pop.
EK.com: I’m satisfied with that. You know me and the other members of Evan Kessler & His Only Two friends really work hard at perfecting that Electro-fuzz Pop sound.
AS: hahaha
EK.com: Who are your influences? And you can’t say Jude Law.
AS: For this project, personally, JJ Cale is probably my biggest influence. That and a few surfrock standbys that I’ve recently revisited: Dick Dale, Link Wray, The Stray Cats…
EK.com: What is this project?
AS: Sunny Ali and the Kid
EK.com: If Father Time had any siblings, what would their names be?
AS: Scissor Sister and Brother Muzzone
EK.com: Those don’t make any sense. The correct answers were Brother Earth and Sister Plate Tectonics.
AS: hahahahahahah
EK.com: On a serious note, what’s are you going to eat for lunch today?
AS: I was just thinking about that. id like to have a pulled pork sandwich
EK.com: I’d like to have that too. Unfortunately, I’ve already indulged in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Abdullah 1,
EvanKessler.com 0.
EK.com: How has EvanKessler.com changed your life?
AS: EvanKessler.com inspired me to write and jump started my writing career by taking me under its wong. shortly after, it destroyed my life with a series of strategically sent post cards. Note i said ‘wong’ and not ‘wing.’ that wasnt a mistake.
EK.com: Well, you’ll be glad to know that EvanKessler.com is going to make up for destroying your life by taking you sailing on your birthday. Remember to wear a life vest.
AS: Yeah!
EK.com: I hope you can swim.
AS: I hope you can save drowning novice sailors.
EK.com: Remember, to fight off sharks, punch them in the nose.
AS: Thanks
EK.com: Mr. Abdullah Saeed, I thank you for participating in the EvanKessler.com Guerrilla Interview…where the unsuspecting start suspecting early on in the conversation that they are in fact, being interviewed.
AS: Thanks man, that was fun
EK.com: I hope it wasn’t too much fun. It was all toil and trouble on this side of the table.
AS: hahahahaha, damn man, your making me laugh-cough over here.
EK.com: Godspeed and good luck dodging all of them Fatwas.
AS: Gracias, I think I might go get that pulled pork sandwich now
EK.com: Sounds delightful.



2 Responses to “The EvanKessler.com Guerrilla Interview: Abdullah Saeed”

  1. funklip said

    Hahahahaha! Conversations with me, Abdullah, are hilarious. Also, I’m gay and stupid.

  2. […] one of his famous Guerilla Interviews, and I was in the hot seat. There was only one question in this interview that truly caught me off […]

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