Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

2010: 2009 All Over Again?

Posted by evankessler on December 30, 2009

Precious few hours are left in the decade that has yet to have a affectionate moniker bestowed upon it other than the rather drab “aughts” or “oh-oh’s.” We could easily look back on the the last ten years and affix the era with an apt title like the “Decade Where Everyone Decided To Go Completely Insane Over The Tiniest Pseudo-Celebrity News,” but we’ll resist that temptation.  We here at OneRiot would like to look forward to 2010.  Specifically, we’re in search of an unofficial motto that will define the attitude for the next year to come.  There’s been some great ones over the last ten years like “2001: Let’s Have Some Fun,” and “2003: Everyone’s Drinking Tea!” Who could forget the collective determination of “2008: Let’s All Lose Some Weight”? Okay, so maybe none of those were actual slogans used in their years and maybe we just made them up using simple rhyme scheme for the sake of this post, but that doesn’t mean 2010 shouldn’t have an unofficial slogan, does it?  We’ve reached into the deep well of our imagination and our knowledge of words that rhyme with “ten” to bring you a list of potential taglines for the year to come.

2010: Put The Crazies Back In The Pen- 2009 saw the emergence of nutbars like teabaggers who brought guns to health care rallies and birther Orly Taitz. This slogan beckons a return to reasonable political discourse.

2010: Let’s Go Hang Out In The Den– Leisurely acts took a big hit in 2009.  Everyone spent more time in the unemployment line and less time relaxing. Here’s hoping we kick this recession in the new year and spend less time applying elbow grease while massaging our careers.  Instead, we should all just kick back in our favorite room in the house and enjoy entertaining friends in front of that new 60-inch TV we just bought after our new boss decided we were due for a raise.

2010: Lose Some Weight Again- After we triumphantly lost weight in 2008, some of us used ’09 to sit around and dine.  Let’s get back on that health train.

Amen, It’s 2010: It’s going to be a spiritual year, people.

2010: You’re Going To Have To Watch Figure Skating– The Vancouver Winter Olympics starts up in a few weeks and whether you like it or not…you’re going to have to watch figure skating.

2010: The Year We Make Contact- Okay, so this isn’t a slogan as much as it’s the name of the Peter Hyams-directed sequel to Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, but maybe just maybe this is the year we finally hang out with E.T.

2010: Two Years ‘Til The End- According to the Mayan Calendar, we’re all going down in ’12, so let’s make this one count.

Happy New Year readers.  See you next year!

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