Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

OneRiot’s Guide to Holiday Parties

Posted by evankessler on December 2, 2009

December is at long last upon us and though we here at OneRiot can feel the icy chill of winter wafting towards us through that drafty window, we’ve already had a few days to wrap ourselves in the Holiday season‘s snuggie-like grasp . ‘Tis the season to throw a major rager full of yuletide cheer and crisp cool beer–or if you prefer, hot toddies. If you’re concocting a party plan to go along with some holiday punch with extra kick, we have some suggestions on how to make your annual winter gala one for the ages.

  • Dress for the occasion- We all have that one horrible sweater with reindeer on it that needs considerable dusting off in mid-December before it succumbs to the annual wear and tear of egg nog spills.  Break it out.
  • Make A Proper Holiday Mix- Start your evening off with some classic winter tunes along the lines of Dean Martin‘s “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and around an hour and a half in when people are starting to get antsy and dancy spring “Do They Know It’s Christmas” and Run DMC‘s “Christmas in Hollis” before it turns into a full on 80’s dance party.
  • Rent A Copying Machine- If you’re having a holiday party and don’t have a copying machine, you’re really missing out. The room where the copier is is the equivalent of a bedroom on MTV Cribs. It’s where the holiday magic happens.
  • Ice Luge- With the winter Olympics coming up, what better way to pay tribute this holiday season than by having alcohol sled down your throat?
  • Living Nativity Scene– Convince a few of your friends to dress as the three wise men complete with a manger and baby Jesus. Have everyone else at the party place bets to see how long you can get them to stay in their positions before they get sick of it and are compelled to just join the party.
  • Don’t Forget Your Jewish Friends- They may celebrate with a hannukah bush and by lighting candles, but just because they’re not caroling doesn’t mean they don’t know how to cut loose.  Playing spin the dreidel can be more fun that spin the bottle because it has levels of hooking up.  Land on “gimmel” and you could have a very happy holiday.
  • Have A Bag- Everybody loves presents.  Give everyone a ten dollar limit for a grab bag and enjoy the disparity in gift quality as some party-goers end up with wondrously inventive gadgets and others wind up with total crap.

Most importantly, make sure to invite all of your best friends to the party.  After all, the holidays are about spending valuable time with the ones you love and maybe some you’d like to get to know better under slightly less inhibited circumstances.


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