Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

OneRiot Guide To Making Your Summer Complete

Posted by evankessler on September 4, 2009

Labor Day Weekend may not be the official end of Summer, but it does account for the mental demise of all of our sunshine daydreams. Before you allow your beach bum bubble to be burst by the ides of autumn you best make sure you’ve gotten all of your summer requirements out of the way. The following is a list of a few things to accomplish this final weekend before your thoughts turn to foliage, football, and full Fridays at the office:

1. Have a Summer Romance- If you’ve missed out on a little summer lovin’ and are going to have no great stories to tell the T-Birds and Pink Ladies upon your return, wherever it is you’re returning to, get an early start this weekend by heading out to your local pickup spot– whether it be a bar, lounge, mall, or medieval times parking lot and get to wooing.  Finally, after your Friday thru Monday fling is over, sing a song about it.  You’ll feel better about you potential love dumping you in favor of a 4- month relationship with their respective fantasy football team.

2. Wear White– Don’t just wear one pair of white pants and a white shirt.  Wear literally every white item of clothing you’ve neglected during the Summer season.  It may not look good, but it’ll get someone’s attention, whether it be that sweet thang you’ve had your eye on or the warden of the mental institution who has something white he wants you to wear after labor day (hint: you can’t exactly move your arms in it).


3. Go on Vacation- Take a break from the Summer swelter and go somewhere the sun is not so oppressive like Tierra del Fuego or the Arctic Circle.

4. Go to Summer School– Summer is a time for learning,though the beach is usually our classroom and the mistakes we’re learning from have something to do with applying the wrong SPF level.  That being said, if the 1988 film “Summer School” taught us anything it’s that it can also be a great time to catch up on our more remedial subjects.  This weekend would be a great time to enroll in a two-day seminar in Needlepoint or Advanced Military Strategies.

and finally…

5. Barbecue to your heart’s content-  If you’ve missed out on prime time grill action this Summer, you’ve done yourself an extreme disservice. Gather your friends together, blast some good tunes (Richard Marx‘s “Endless Summer Nights” comes to mind) and set those final few Summer’s eves aflame–at least until that Autumn chill puts out the fire.

Have a safe and happy Labor Day everyone from your friends at OneRiot!

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