Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

A Positive Pole Model

Posted by evankessler on September 2, 2009

Good ol’ Barbie, she loved to talk on the phone, cheer, and fancy herself a princess. While she didn’t exactly shatter the glass ceiling by advancing the cause of feminism through her shallow pursuits, she didn’t aim to eliminate youthful exuberance by saddling it with the reality of adult problems either. Think about all of the Betsy Wetsies that simulate the responsibility of motherhood for children, in effect causing them to aspire to have their own young ones because they’re so good at shoving a baby bottle into a plastic mouth– all the while remaining woefully ignorant of just how difficult parenting may actually be. It seems only natural that little girls who romanticize about pregnancy at such an early age should start falling in love with the things they’re going to have to do in support of said bundle of love.
Enter the Pole Dancer Doll. That’s right, now there’s a doll for little girls who have already aspired to get knocked up by prince charming– or that guy who won’t get a DNA test live on Maury– but still need to learn about how they’re going to pay for all of the formula, diapers and doctor visits. The doll allows little girls the opportunity  to simulate their favorite Miley Cyrus Teen Choice Award moves and work out a routine for when they’re going by the name Sapphire while performing on the main stage at PT’s Playhouse in Reno.  The only downside to the doll is that toy stores require that you pay for it in crumpled up singles.


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