Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Walmart Outscouting the Girl Scouts

Posted by evankessler on August 4, 2009

Girl Scouts of the United States of America

Image via Wikipedia

Lately it seems that Wal-mart has taken a bit of a break from its busy schedule of destroying small town infrastructure and putting mom and pop shops out to pasture, by taking the time to institute more friendly or at least “green” initiatives.  Alas, maintaining the do good mentality of the corporate behemoth boasting low, low prices –for various products made in China– seemed to be all but an afterthought, when everyone’s favorite superstore decided to outmuscle everyone’s favorite adorably non-profit cookie sellers…for a profit, of course.

Walmart recently announced that it would be impinging on the Girl Scouts‘ precious territory by releasing their own versions of those ever-so tasty Tagalogs and suitably scrumptious Thin Mint cookies. From now on consumers hungry for that sweet sweet taste of empowered female youth learning to build character and skills for success in the real world, will be able to indulge their sweet tooth without that nasty aftertaste that is the charitable donation. Instead, each time they purchase said cookies at their favorite unflinchingly profitable everything-for-less emporium, they’ll have the comfort of knowing that the rich have just gotten richer, while the poor, well let’s just hope they can sell a shitload of Samosas.

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