Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Indiana Jones and the Broken Hip of the Buddha

Posted by evankessler on June 17, 2009

Indiana Jones Heritage - Trading Card

Image by Thomas Duchnicki via Flickr

It was deja vu all over again, in the tradition of Star Wars, yet another perfectly classic trilogy ruined by the desire to see characters we know and love gross $100 million in an opening weekend. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Horribly Inane Plot Involving Aliens may have sullied the image of our favorite whip-cracking, wisecracking, Nazi-battling adventurer last summer– but not enough to make us forget the good times we shared in his first three films.

The closing credits of last summer’s atrocity left us relieved that perhaps Mr. Spielberg and Mr. Lucas would never attempt to add another chapter, while graciously closing the book on the archaeological career of one Henry Jones Jr. Now we’re hearing whispers that this is not necessarily the case. According to Indy‘s long lost son, Mutt LaBoeuf, Steven Spielberg has somehow managed to come up with a plot for film #5.

Judging by the last outing, we imagine the new story has something to do with Indy and Mutt finding the secrets to eternal life via the snake people from outer space who study Scientology and shoot lasers from their eyes.  Oh yeah, and they just so happen to inexplicably be living in the lost city of Atlantis deep inside the Mariana Trench. Frankly, we’re not interested. Mr. Spielberg, Mr. Lucas we know you created him, but please leave Indy alone from here on out.  You’ve lost your creative privileges, now go sit in the corner of the room and think about what you’ve done.

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