Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Lambert Saunters Out of the Closet

Posted by evankessler on June 9, 2009

Adam Lambert on Soundcheck

Image by kindofadraag via Flickr

In an earth shattering, universe threatening announcement, American Idol Runner-up and subsequent Clay Aiken combatant, Adam Lambert has declared that he is of the homosexual persuasion.  Lambert chose the controversial venue of conservative rock rag Rolling Stone magazine, to out himself and send shockwaves through legions of American Idol fans who obviously adored him for his tough jock image and steadfast refusal to flash jazz hands.  While Lambert is not the first Idol runner up to hurt the lord’s feelings.  It stings the big guy upstairs especially hard seeing as he’s literally throwing that “god created Adam” thing right in his face by not being interested in anyone named Eve.

Despite his current monstrous state of popularity, the newest member of the music community not to be trapped in the closet, doesn’t plan on using his powers of “persuasion” for the betterment of gay rights, telling Rolling Stone that he’s “a singer and not a civil rights leader.” Instead, he’ll focus on planting more seeds of hatred towards people of his ilk, by continuing to croon awfully annoying pop covers.


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