Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Open Letter To The New York Mets

Posted by evankessler on September 25, 2008

Dear New York Mets,

I have been a member of the New York Metropolitans faithful since before that glorious 1986 world championship season.  I’ve stuck with the team through thick and thin,  the Dallas Green years and even Mo Vaughn.  After enduring last season’s collapse during the final seventeen games of the season, this season’s atrocious bullpen performance, and finally the debacle that was Wednesday night’s 9-6 extra inning defeat at the hands of the NL Central Champion Cubbies, I’m almost tempted to toss my arms up in the air and say, “no mas.”

It’s always required a certain amount of intestinal fortitude to be a New York Mets fan.  Each progressive offseason sees the introduction of promising new arrivals that we’re told are destined to lead a smiling Mr. Met and his round stitched baseball head soaring into the post-season.

This year we had the good fortune to acquire a brand new stud arm in the form of Johan Santana and with that myself and the rest of the Shea faithful were delighted.  Surely, this was the final piece of the puzzle we had all been waiting for after coming oh so close and ’06 and being so painfully shut out of the postseason last year.

. Surely, we were a little naive to think one man could make a difference.  They don’t make pitchers like they used to you know.  Starters aren’t often required to go the full nine innings anymore.  Sure they occasionally pitch a complete game and let the relievers rest once in awhile, but even if you have two or three guys who can eat up innings you’re going to have to rely on some other guys to finish off games for you.  And you know what, it’s not often that you’ll have a four or five run cushion to fall back on…However, when you do have a nice soft five run cushion, you shouldn’t be afraid the game is going to swing in the wrong direction every time your manager takes the ball from his ace on the mound sometime around the sixth or seventh inning.

This season has been downright offensive.  I don’t mean in the way the Mets have been scoring a lot of runs, I mean that I am offended by the lack of ability permeating from the team’s bullpen.  They turn every game that should be a solid victory into some variation of a wild roller coaster that’s sort of like Coney Island’s own Cyclone.  It’s not that fun and you have to endure a frighteningly precipitous drop and face the prospect of painful whiplash in order to get out alive. On the odd occasion that they do nail down a victory, you feel so scarred that you vow to never put yourself through it again.
Well, Metropolitans.  I’m not really sure I want to waste another four hours of my life watching my favorite team go up 5-1 on a heroic grand slam home run, only to give the runs right back, then squander several gift opportunities before accidentally stumbling into a tie only to squander more precious gifts before having that same bullpen so dutifully usher the opponent to a win via yet another awful performance.

Now with the team knotted up with Brewers for the Wild Card spot and four games left to play and even though I know the Mets motto is “Ya Gotta Believe”, I’m thinking more along the lines of “No Way. No How.  Not With This Pitching Staff.”  Please be wrong.  You have four games or you’ll lose me forever (or at least till next season).  Let’s end the stay at Shea with some pride and a little bit of postseason.

Evan J. Kessler

p.s. Please chain Aaron Heilman to a pole using an impenetrable pair of titanium handcuffs and please melt the key into liquid.


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