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The Home of the Brave

Loser Skywalker Vs. Darth Weinstein

Posted by evankessler on March 28, 2008

In the case that you’ve been living under a rock for the past few weeks or if you’re of the select few that hasn’t been scouring the web 24/7 for all of the Star Wars-themed news you can find (we’ll assume the former), you may be unaware of the current feud going on between a group of Couch Jedis and The Weinstein Company, which happens to be the group responsible for the release of the Star Wars nerd-themed love-letter Fanboys..

Well, let me quickly bring you up to speed.  It seems that last summer a whole bunch of Star Wars devotees got their underoos all urine- soaked when they caught a rough cut of the film Fanboys at the Star Wars Celebrations in both London and Los Angeles. Let me tell you they loved it so much it got a standing ovation, which is a surefire sign that a movie is Oscar-worthy.

However, they got all upset when they found out recently that the term rough cut actually ended up meaning rough cut and the movie changed from a heart warming tale about a ” group of Star Wars fans who travel to Skywalker Ranch to steal an early copy of Episode I: The Phantom Menace so their friend can see it before he dies of cancer,” to a film about a bunch of die hard fans who go on a road trip to break in to Skywalker Ranch, just because they want to see the movie a few months early with no mention of the cancer plot.  The Superfans have since vowed to boycott the film and anything bearing the Weinstein’s name due to the plot change.

While I understand their dismay at hearing that the film they loved so dearly got changed from their original viewing, I have to take issue with the naivete of these Star Wars supernerds.  My first issue is that I question whether or not these people are the least bit familiar with the Hollywood machine.  Have they never heard of rewrites or re-shoots before?  Why should something that they hold dear be immune to the Hollywood process?  Maybe if they’d actually watched films like The Player or The Big Picture rather than re-watching The Ewok Adventure for the 800th time they’d have some semblance of understanding of how the film industry works.

My other issue is that these superfans are so adamant about just how awful the other version obviously is, without having actually seen it. Let’s pretend for a second that the only thing more important than being the first in line for the first showing of any new superhero or sci-fi release to a superfan is the health of his/her friends.  You mean to tell me the film plot is only valid if someone has a disease as the reason to drive the plot? The only reason a fan would go to Skywalker ranch is because he has Cancer and hence the new plot is utterly unbelievable because Star Wars fans are the most pure of heart people in the world? Right, next you’re going to tell me Revenge Of The Nerds would’ve been a lot better if instead of going on a midnight panty raid to the Pi’s house, Booger Presley gave a rousing speech about his battle with hemophilia in it’s stead.

I know what you think Fanboys, you think this film is about you…but it’s not about you.  This is the furthest thing from a based on a true story biopic about your life, though you seem to think it’s the closest you’ll ever get, so now it’s personal. The film is actually about a bunch of kids who try to get a copy of Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace before it comes out by going to the Skywalker Ranch…Did you do that?  Most likely you didn’t.

I think Star Wars fans are guilty of a little anger displacement.  Instead of being mad at the Weinstein Company, maybe they should be angry at George Lucas for the three lousy prequels he made you waste your money on.

Pathetically, on the day this post goes up…outraged Star Wars fans will be protesting in theaters in both New York and LA against the changes made by “Darth Weinstein”…right as if there’s nothing else important in the world going on to protest.

P.S.  I also thing naming all of your enemies Darth something is pretty lazy and uncreative.

(note: the previous article originally appeared as part of the New York Film Academy blog.  The web address has since been taken down…so I decided to make it live here)

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