Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

He Is Risen

Posted by evankessler on March 24, 2008

When I used to live on Bleecker Street, I lived next door to a tiny community church. At Christmas they would raise a banner that said, “A savior is born” or something to that effect. When it was Easter they would switch that banner with one that read “He Is Risen”. I think it was that particular banner, that on a windy day, became unfastened and repeatedly whipped into the upstairs window of my apartment, shattering glass all over my roommate’s floor. Seeing as my roommate was out and I didn’t want him to arrive home and step all over shards of glass…I cleaned the room. However, I couldn’t help but think this was a sign. Jesus was punishing my roommates and I by proving that he had risen by thrashing the banner, the embodiment of his “rising”, against the window of our heathen abode, therefore keeping us unsafe from whichever natural element he felt unleashing upon our unguarded fortress of sin.

Fortunately, almost two years have passed since I’ve moved from that apartment and I’m not sure if the United States Postal Service has passed my address on to Jesus. I hope he still thinks I live on Bleecker Street or St. John’s Place. Either way, I can’t say I felt his wrath this past weekend. However, if he is aware of my whereabouts, he may have been more delighted in the merriment I endured in his name over the past few days as there were plenty of Jesus-centric activities….or at least Easter -centric activities afoot.

Good Friday evening saw me venture out to Williamsburg where I partook in an Easter Egg dye-athon at the apartment of my married-with-child friends John and Zerna K, or as their more affectionately known, Jerna. I had originally thought this was going to be a family affair with mother, father, and daughter all dyeing eggs with a friendly crew. However, within 30 minutes of my arrival it became abundantly clear that this was an adults (if you could call us that ) only egg party. After 3o minutes of their daughter playing playing with animals and pronouncing the word “frog” as if it were a certain expletive that started with F and ended with K, anyone below the age of three was put to bed. The adults consisting of myself, Lauren H, Kishore, Miller, Suli, Andrea P, Zerna, and John partook in some alcoholic beverages and some enjoyably hilarious conversation.

John Discovers The Least Effective Way To Order Pizza

John decided that he would order pizza for his guests, but rather than just simply phone it in he attempted to use the technology provided on the world wide interweb as he thought it would be quicker. It was about fifteen minutes into his tinkering that he finally got to the ordering part…unfortunately the order never made it to his apartment and we ended up calling in an order that finally made it by 11:10pm, around two and a half hours after our original order.

The Spread

In the meantime the lot of us got down to egg dying business in the kitchen. Jerna had pulled out all of the stops. They had letters we could put on our eggs, crayons to color with, and several other utensils for decoration. I wasn’t getting too fancy. I was just dipping my egg in the various dyes and drawing on them with crayons. I didn’t have a set plan I just sort of did whatever I felt like doing at that particular moment and the results were okay. I think Lauren made an egg with a 69 on it, Suli dipped his eggs in various colors indiscriminantly at first as a result of his color blindness, whereas Andrea seemed to be putting in maximum effort and care with each egg she colored. Miller began to begin every sentence with “ex” words and turning them into “eggs” words which was horribly lame, but semi-funny. I think I stopped the trend by talking about “t-eggs-t messages”. Yes, this was a class operation and the results of our egg dye-off were stellar. Towards the end of our “eggs-travaganza” (damn you Miller) Nina and Dmitry showed up and began to cook some Russian foods and help with the eggs.

Andrea Styles Her Egg Accordingly

Creativity Runs Rampant

The Result of Creativity Running Rampant

When 11:10 struck, Kayvalyn walked in the door almost the same time as the pizza arrived. We had a few slices of pizza each, but Lauren and I had to take off for other outings in the city. Unfortunately, we never found out which egg one the best in show, but we had other places to go and other people to see.

After splitting a cab into Manhattan, I ended up at Shoolbred’s on 2nd Avenue where I met my old friends Betsy and Noelle from the VH1 days. My former office neighbors, now inhabitants of the West Coast were in good spirits and our conversation certainly reflected it. We were all quite taken by the bar, a newcomer to the East Village that really classed up the neighborhood as far as drinking establishments go. Also present at the drink-athon were Betsy’s old roommates Brandi and MT, who I had certainly not seen in a while, as well as their friend Kevin who was a new face. We mostly got along famously to the wee hours of the morning.

Just Like Old Times With Noelle and Betsy

There was a guy that Betsy and Noelle kind of knew named Tai, who felt the need to explain to us why he was named Tai (his parents were hippies). In my estimation there’s names you don’t give kids, because if you do they’re almost certain to grow up as frat-tastic douchebags. They are as follows: Brad, Chad, Kip, Chip, Chet, Ty, Tai, Tad, JP, AJ, EJ, BJ, DJ. If I have kids ever, I will certainly know to stay away from these names and you should take note of them as well…and if you have anything to add, please share. There are really probably a few I left out but you get the point.

In any case, a few of the other revelers headed out to Bleecker Bar, but seeing as we weren’t in the mood to party hop we stayed at Shoolbred’s until around 3am. Tai was gone by then as were his tales of a hippie upbringing. I hopped in a cab and headed back for Brooklyn whilst engaging in some fun drunken phone conversation with Stephy P in LA.

I woke up relatively early the next morning for someone who hadn’t fallen asleep until 4am. I was up and around at 10:30am. Content not to waste the day, I headed to Postmark Cafe to get some writing done. Unfortunately after a twenty minute stroll to my destination I was met with locked doors. Rather than quit my quest to do something productive I headed to the less favorable environs of the Tea Lounge. Upon entering the behemoth bohemian establishment, I was immediately turned off by the ungodly serpent-like queue for coffee and tea. Instead, I headed straight for home and largely wasted the day.

At 2pm my brother texted me to tell me he was coming to Park Slope in what would probably be an hour. Rather than head to the gym or start any productive endeavors I decided to engage in a little spring cleaning prior to his arrival. One hour of waiting turned into two hours. It was 4:30pm when he finally showed up and we grabbed an early bird dinner at Press 195 before parting ways. Luckily, we hadn’t wasted too much time and I was able to get a little workout in at the gym prior to my evening activity.

At around 9:30pm I headed out with Mike H, Bassett, and Renga to Brian D’s birthday party at Dram Bar. Mike spent the entire way there on the phone with Maureen in LA. Meanwhile, Renga called Maureen while Bassett and I texted her to get off the phone with Mike just to be annoying. It was funny, but probably one of those you had to be there and involved things.

Dram Shop was a pretty decent looking space, lots of flatscreen TV’s with the NCAA tournament playing on them, along with shuffleboard and a billiards table as well as a bar with a fine wood finish. None of us had been there before, so we just took in the scenery and made small talk with Brian’s friends at first. Andrew Morton met us there after a few minutes and we had a pretty easygoing crew hanging out. The bar itself was a weird amalgam of people that wasn’t very desirable. There was an old couple that we labeled Arianna Huffington and David Geffen, that looked like they were on a first date and later began making out at the bar. There was another older dude with dreadlocks that provided conversation fodder as well. It didn’t actually end up being a late night. We only hung around until a little after midnight as we were all kind of beat and we had a big day ahead of us on Sunday due to the resurrection of someone else’s lord. I stopped for a slice of pizza on the way home and got a good 9 hours of sleep to prepare for the long Sunday afternoon.

Sunday began with a flurry of activity as Renga and Bassett were preparing the kitchen for Easter dinner. I was on dish rinsing duty and not much else though I did buy some wine for the occasion. Pretty soon all hands were on deck. Gearhart made a bruschetta, Dan and his sister Emma came by to start making the appe pieand set up the alcoholic punch situation. I was showered, dressed and ready to go by 2pm and that’s around when we started drinking. People started arriving and began to partake in deviled eggs and bruschetta, as well as the punch. We were on our way to our own little slice of Sunday heaven.

The Table

My Table Setting

My Jew on Easter Come Hither Look
Jesus’ American Apple Pie

As soon as Kelly R arrived our assemblage of resurrection rejoicers headed to Prospect Park for a kite flying expedition. We had several kites, though I didn’t fly any of them. The majority of the flying was done by Renga, Dan, Eric, and Bassett. One little british boy in the park was captivated by Bassett’s kite and so she let him do a little flying as his parents watched on. It was a fun outing. Unfortunately, there were a few kite casualties as the Eagle that Eric was flying met an early doom.

Laura And Kelly Help A Child Fly His First Kite

After abourt an hour in the park we went back to our Union Street abode for dinnertime. Everyone who made food really outdid themselves. The steak marinade was perfect and to be outside watching them grill was a happy reminder of warmer days to come. Eric’s salad was perfect mixture of color’s and textures. The greenbeans and potatoes were equally tasty. It was definitely one of the better meals we had since I’ve lived at my current apartment. Needless to say we were all stuffed but continued onto dessert.

Now That’s What I Call Salad!
Pete Grilling Meat

Kelly & Eric Pose For A Photo

Laura and Andrew Pose For an 80’s Album Cover

Let’s Eat!

The Lauras had done a masterful job of keeping the meal artful by making Lemon Sorbet and serving it inside a lemon. Following that as a palate cleanser we ate Emma’s Apple pie with home made Cinammon Ice Cream on top.

This Cleansed My Palate

This May Have Been The Best Apple Pie Ever

Eric and Kelly Pin an Easter Bonnet on Bassett

Greg Shows The Reverse Finger

Dan And Laura All Set To Call It A Day

It was completely delicious…and the best Easter meal I had ever had…not that I have had a lot, but it would still rank up there. We spent the rest of the evening hanging out and finishing off our wine. People started to file out around 11pm and I pretty much called it a weekend…with my stomach filled I went up to my room and relaxed in bed listening to Hank Williams sing…”Praise the lord, I saw the light.”


3 Responses to “He Is Risen”

  1. Suli said

    Clayton. Clayton is a horrible fuckin’ name.

  2. Evan Kessler said


  3. Maureen said

    i miss my buddies!!!!!!!!

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