Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

The Dork Days of March, Part Two- URETHRA!

Posted by evankessler on March 21, 2008

Ladies and gentleman, I’ve just finished a three and a half hour long twenty-five round fantasy baseball draft and boy are my arms tired…you know, from drafting the baseball men. In any case, I’ve completely neglected every other single aspect of my life over that period of time for the sole purpose of turning my team, Urethra Franklin, from a pretender to a contender in my head to head league.

So how did it go? Well, my first instinct is to say I have no idea. My early strategy was to go after the power categories in the 1st couple of rounds by picking two power packing 3rd basemen in Miguel Cabrera and Ryan Braun, but that strategy went out the window pretty early on when I grabbed a pitcher in the 3rd round. From then on I pretty much relied on a recipe which utilized the rankings they had on the draft website as well as a pinch of the rankings from the ESPN Fantasy baseball preview. Hopefully, that mixture is enough to catapult me from Fantasy baseball zero to fantasy baseball hero.

“…that Evan Kessler was a hee-ro…”

I can just picture Wilford Brimley’s character in The 1979 film The China Syndrome saying, ” Evan Kessler wasn’t a lunatic for sitting through that baseball draft, he’s was a hee-ro! Evan Kessler was a hee-ro” but hopefully it wouldn’t be said after I was shot for trying to prevent a meltdown at a Nuclear power plant. You know what, maybe I am a lunatic for spending three and a half hours in an online draft, but there were eleven other people involved so I’m not totally alone in that. You might as well call the thousands upon thousands of other Fantasy baseball players across this great nation crazy too. Go ahead, I dare you…or you can be brave and call them heroes (but not edible ones).

Either way, I did what I did so that at some point in the next six months, maybe just maybe, Urethra Franklin might earn a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Is that so wrong?

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One Response to “The Dork Days of March, Part Two- URETHRA!”

  1. Masharika said

    Evan! It’s Mash. How ya livin’ these days, bud? I’m spending a lazy Saturday night at home and thought about you and your blog (if that’s not love, then I don’t know what is).

    I hope all is well in your world and best of luck to you and your Urethras!

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