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Archive for July, 2007

White People

Posted by evankessler on July 9, 2007

It was a wonderful weekend for celebration. Fresh on the heels of the July 4th Celebration of the previous week, July 6 through July 8th was certainly no time to relax. It was a chance the keep the party going til one was forced into the boiling cauldron of the working week once more on Monday. Luckily for me I had been off all of last week. I even had the chance to do a post during the week which was something I haven’t been accustomed to lately. Lucky for you you won’t have to read through an entire week recap and we can just pick up where we left off…Friday July 6th.

My early Friday was spent generally wandering around my house and trying to get a better Internet reception while searching Craigslist for a Wii. After proving unsuccessful at that endeavor, my new roommate Matt and I headed over to Marshall’s, where the previous day I had bought a pair of white shorts, a white and purple Sean John shirt, and an oversized white shirt with silver rolled up 100 dollar bills emblazoned over the shirt’s entire area. I had decided to return the Sean John shirt as the 100 dollar bills shirt was quite literally and figuratively “the money”. It would constitute half of my outfit for a white party I was throwing with my roommates in honor of Bassett’s birthday. Anyway, Matt and I went to Marshall’s. He was buying a white outfit and I was returning a shirt. We went in the store and I waited on the return line where I was preceded by two women with their 2 screaming kids. These children were all someone would need t0 win an argument in favor of halting all forms of procreation. From the moment I first stood behind them in line to the minute I split off to a particular cashier the children (at least 30 minutes) they shouted a constant stream of “I want a snack” and “I want to go” mixed with incessant crying for no reason. It was brutal. I’m throughly convinced that a great invention for shopping malls would be child lockers. You put $2 in the machine and a door opens up and your child is in a room with airholes and a TV showing Barney The Purple Dinosaur or whatever shows kids like these days. It’s a can’t miss idea and I’m sure the Japanese are already working on this.

Marshall’s ended up not being completely satisfactory for Matt’s shopping needs so we ended up heading to Old Navy to complete his look. Fortunately, we came across white flip flops for $2.50 each which certainly completed my all white ensemble. Matt got the same flip flops but nothing else. Apparently he had white shorts at home and Old Navy had not provided other satisfactory clothing options. The Flip-flops were a good get though.

From Marshalls we returned home and bided our time till our respective evening activities. Bassett, Jenny C, and Laura R went to Red Hook for dinner for Bassett’s actual birthday but I had other plans. It was my good friend Suli’s birthday and I was going to have to make the trip to Williamsburg to celebrate it. I had planned on leaving with Jason, Kayvalyn, and Kishore sometime around 10. Unfortunately, not everyone was as ready as I was or had been sitting around doing nothing all day so it wasn’t until a little after 11pm that we finally met up for Kishore to drive us to Suli’s party at Union Pool.

We arrived at the bar soon after we left from Prospect Heights and it was a lot less crowded than we thought it would be. Suli was at the door greeting people. Once inside there were many more familiar faces including, Erika G, Eric L, Joe D, Eve D, Nicole, Rich, Lina, Lauren H, John C, John K, Shayan, Ed, and a cast of many others. It was a fun gathering of good people banding together for a common cause. Beer and well drinks flowed as if they were the Tigris and Euphrates although not into one another. Towards the end of the evening many people gravitated to a fair that was across the street. I gravitated back to Rich and Lina’s where I met up with Jason, Kayvalyn and Kishore before going home to my new abode at around 2am.

Joe, Myself, Suli and some of Rich’s head

Nicole in the Process of Ripping off Half of Eric’s Face

The next morning I awoke and there was a palpable excitement in the air and in the house. It was the day of the big White Party for Bassett’s birthday and all of the roommates chipped in to prepare a bevy of white foods (powdered donuts, white pretzels, cauliflower, ranch dressing) along with some colored foods (kebabs, various dips, chips) though they were mostly segregated. I added to the wide array of choice culinary concoctions with my first foray into making white sangria or sangria of any kind for that matter. All it took was some white wine, club soda, and assorted fruits and voila, we had ourselves some sangria.

The White Food Table

The Colored Food Table

At around 2:30 most of the party preparation was done and we had some downtime. Laura R and Mike went to Marshall’s an American Apparel to seek out appropriate attire while the rest of showered up and donned our diddiest duds. The first folks arrived at around 4:30 and Jenny C showed them around our place whilst the rest of us fine tuned our individual details. Moments later I came downstairs in Pristine Pimpin Playa Uniform. Bassett aided my cause by supplying me with a little bling.

East AND West Coast…You know What I’m Sayin’ Yo

After Jenny’s friends and her fiancĂ© showed up they were followed by Andrew Morton, Kelly R and from that moment on there was a steady stream of folks in white attire. My old roommate John even made it. Matt also had three of friends show up and I had coincidentally worked with two of them on my latest project. It’s a small world after all. The party was littered with the usual suspects. Stephen, Katie, Pat H, Pete F, and a couple of other people I had seen before but did not know so well. It was really a fun gathering and I had fun playing my hip hop persona Tumultuos whose debut album T is For Tumultuous drops 7/17/07.

This White Guy Showed Up To Our Party

More White People: Mike H, Kelly R and Laura R

Later in the evening the mood shifted as we switched from a hip hop soundtrack to a heavy 80’s theme. Rather than here P.Diddy and the Family we were listening to Survivor, Journey, Chicago and whoever sings that Karate Kid Theme. I even did some slow dancing with Jenny C but I’m not sure to what song as I had had plenty to drink by that point. As the night wore on I moved on to beer and was very happily buzzed. Towards the end of the night we were visited by Arby, Marie and Filler who brought Robert and Felicia in tow. We watched the Mets pull out an extra inning victory over the Astros and resumed drinking on the porch before deciding to head in so as to not inconvenience the neighbors’ sleep patterns.

My White Roommate Jenny

Tumultuous and The White Birthday Birthday Girl

That eventually led to the party closing up shop and me heading up to my room with Rich, Filler and Felicia as they had not been over since I moved in and hadn’t seen my living quarters. We hung out and joked around for awhile. Filler enjoyed putting my Li’l Evan Kessler Puppet under my covers and placing my Mr. Hankey toy under the covers so that it would look like Li’l Evan Kessler had something big going on downstairs. Oh how we laughed because we were drunk but soon the laughter would die down and everyone would leave to go home.

I thankfully passed out until late Sunday morning when myself and the other roommates cleaned up the porch. It’s nice having 6 people to help clean up a relatively small space. From cleanup duty I took a nap and eventually woke up to meet Arby and walk over to Filler’s to grill meat and watch the Mets lose to the Astros. The game sucked but at least our stomachs were full. While we watched the game Arby showed off his iPhone which I kept borrowing to install bizarre cities such as Akron, Ohio and Thunder Bay, Ontario on his weather update feature. On our walk back to our respective apartments we had a brief detour at the lighthouse…or at least I did, he could still be there for all I know. I spent the rest of the evening feeling full. I also watched part of the film “El Topo” with Matt and his friend but the DVD kept skipping which is fine since I don’t know if I was in the mood to watch a movie for 2 hours. After that, I sat down to track more Wii’s and write this post. And now I’m going to go to sleep because I have to work tomorrow. I never know how to end these things.

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Lights, Camera, Patriotism!

Posted by evankessler on July 6, 2007

Well, it has certainly been an eventful first week at the new home office of EvanKessler.com and IfIBlogit.com (and about 5 other blogs). At the end of my previous post I had said that I would definitely be posting during this week but I had not expected to follow up on that promise so late into the game. My original plan was to lay off the drink for most of the week. However, I seemed to neglect the fact that sometime during the week I would have to take time out from sobriety to celebrate the 231st Anniversary of the birth of The United States of America. Surely, that would involve imbibing the King of Beers for The King of Democratic Republics. I did think it would be relatively easy to avoid the workingman’s nectar (my new euphemism for beer that I just came up with) on Monday and Tuesday as I certainly had my fair share of work to finish from the previous week, not to mention the fact that there was much to be done in terms of setting up my living space in my new apartment.

As I prepared to hunker down in the name of productivity mid-Monday afternoon, an astonishing thing happened. My phone rang. On the other end, sounding as if she were in the next room, was my good friend Linnea. You may recall Linnea from posts way back in February of 2005. Look it up, it’ll be a hoot. Anyway, Linnea and I have known each other since our first grade class in 1985 when human rights violations were not part of the curriculum but were nonetheless a hard lesson learned at Lime Kiln Elementary School. Two and a half years ago we had our first get together (we got drunk, and we went to The Gates together) in probably 8 or 9 years and have kept in touch since. I’ve even become fast friends with her sister as a result. Anyway, Linnea called me and wouldn’t you know it, she was in town and wanted to hang out that very night. I raced through as much work as I could, nearly finishing it before showering and rushing to the West Village where I met Linnea and her father at One If By Land, Two If By Sea.

I Chose This Picture of Me and Linnea because It Looks Like I May Have Done Something Funny Beforehand

It’s funny to think you’ve known someone for so many years and never met either of their parents but here I was knowing Linnea since we were about 6 and meeting her father for the first time. They finished up their drinks as I arrived and both said their goodbyes to everyone at the bar. They had apparently heard everyone’s life story in the span of a few short drinks. I learned with 10 seconds of leaving the restaurant that the pianist was a germaphobe. Apparently Linnea had tried to shake her hand and was met with discomfort and denial.

From One if By Land, Two If By Sea we hopped a cab to Tribeca. Linnea’s father was extremely eager to show us around as if neither of us had spend any time in the city. I think we barely made it through any personal conversation as he kept interrupting wanting to show us a new restaurant. To his defense, I’d never spent any time in his view of the city as he kept taking us to upscale restaurants to have a look around and maybe or maybe not stop in for a drink. We must’ve entered and exited 4 restaurants before settling on a place. However, it wasn’t done in a finicky, “I don’t want to go here way”. It was a more measured, “I love your bar/restaurant you have a great place, give me your card so I can take clients here” way, that didn’t leave us feeling guilty when we walked back outside past the maitre’d without spending a dime.

We finally settled down for a drink at bar of the Tribeca Grill. Linnea’s father generously paid for my drink and I thinkfully nursed my Hoegaarden whilst eating trail mix. We were met by Linnea’s father’s girlfriend Suzanne who was also quite pleasant and enjoyable to talk to. We enjoyed a vegetable tempura appetizer before heading off on the hunt for another place to delight our palate. We stopped at one bar that just didn’t seem like the right vibe. Despite the classy exterior, they were blasting Pearl Jam’s “Rearview Mirror” which was just not suitable to our situation. After walking a little further up we came across a restaurant called Turks and Frogs. We entered with caution but the decor was quite nice and Linnea’s father questioned the owner a bit and and we sat down to order appetizers and a drink. There was a bit of a touristy element to our patronage as we were at a Turkish restaurant and when ordering our drinks I asked for a Turkish Beer, Suzanne asked for a Turkish wine, and Linnea’s father asked for a Turkish liquor. It was as if none of us wanted to find out what the drinks were called as long as we were doing something authentically Turkish. I never found out what kind of beer I had but I know it was Turkish. Anyway, we ordered a few appetizers and a few desserts. The place had some of the best hummus I’ve ever had. It was a top notch restaurant and would certainly go back there again.

After our Turkish excursion we had one more place to go. Linnea’s father was going on about a place that had the best Fried Artichoke. I for one was not aware that Fried Artichoke was a dish but I was just going with the flow, so I went for it. Several minutes later we found ourselves at Giorgone where we would sample the delectable Fried Artichoke as well as a pizza topped with prosciutto. Everything was absolutely delicious. Giorgione proved to be the end of our Culinary tour of Tribeca but I was thankful as I felt as though I received a primer on some of the City’s culinary treasures. From there we went to Suzanne’s apartment for a few minutes and then I walked Linnea and her father to their car and saw them off as they headed back to Rockland. It had been quite the whirlwind for a Monday night. I headed back to Brooklyn via train and was ready to hit the sack.

Tuesday was all about finishing the work I had put off. I spent the majority of my day finishing up my notes from the previous week’s shoots. I had finished by the evening but was having internet problems which made it difficult to send out. Tuesday evening was to be another night on the town. Since Wednesday was July 4th everyone was around to go out on Tuesday. As I was finishing up my work in my room. Andrew Morton and Bassett were tying one on downstairs while talking to our other new roommate Matt. When I finally made it downstairs after a shower Andrew was on his way to being three sheets to the wind via a tumbler of gin and tonic while Bassett used a little more moderation. After a couple of beers and some time on the porch we (Bassett, Andrew, and Mike H) headed out to Union Hall but ultimately decided on the Lighthouse where we got a table outdoors and basked in the warmth of a summer night. I bought everyone drinks but ended up drinking Andrew’s as we kicked back and conversed under the Brooklyn sky. We only stayed for a bit as we were back home before midnight.

I woke up early the morning of Independence Day and used my freedom from the working week to go to the Tea Lounge to send out my work notes using their Internet connection. I spent a great deal of the afternoon loitering around the apartment while Laura R and Bassett made a patriotic 4th of July cake. At around 4:30 a group of us including Laura R, Dan F, Bassett, Andrew Morton, Kelly R, and myself headed down to Montero’s on Atlantic Ave for it’s 60th Anniversary bash and for July 4th festivities. They had Burgers, Dogs, and of course…us (which also came to include about 4 or 5 of Dan’s friends as well as Brian D). Upon getting to the bar I rushed to the jukebox to make sure there were appropriate patriotic selections playing. I played the Beach Boys, “Surfin’ USA”, The Pointer Sisters “Jump”, Chicago’s “Look Away”, David Allen Coe’s “You Never Even Called Me By My Name”, Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of The Red White And Blue” and Grand Funk Railroad’s “We’re An American Band” amongst other classics. One things for sure, they were all American tunes and the bar rocked accordingly and patriotically.

Bassett is a “FAN” of the U.S. of A

Andrew does his best Sean Penn impresson

The AmeriDan Dream


After a while at Montero’s we shifted the party over to Floyd where we partook in more Kings of Beers and ate our American cake so lovingly prepared by my new roommates. We also played some murder mystery game very briefly but apparently we didn’t have enough people to make it exciting.

“We’ll Put A Boot In Yer Ass, It’s The American Way”

We went from cake and booze and Floyd to crackle and boom by the water to watch the Fireworks. We made it down near the water as the rain drizzled down on us though not intrusively so. We found a nice open lot which we soon ended up being booted out of on account of it being private property. No matter, we just moved a little further down the road to watch the spectacle that was the fireworks display over the East River. However, I do have to take issue with the length of the light display since it tends to get boring after a few minutes. I think I would be perfectly content with that whole grand finale section just being the entire show. That would be fine with me. That entire 25 minute build up of two things exploding in the air one after another gets kind of tedious. It’d be more exciting if they did 8 minutes of that and 5 minutes of massive explosive hysteria. Oh well, you can’t win ’em all. And because you can’t you drink, and that’s how we closed our night…we had a beer at Floyd before heading back home to bed. Some folks had to work the next morning…but not me.

Hopefully The Apocalypse is Just As Colorful

Laura and Dan in “ooh…aaah” mode

There’s Always Fireworks When These Two Get Together

Kelly Stares Down A Light Show While Not Worrying About Home Delivery

I woke up this day after our 231st anniversary of our great nation with no big plans. I wanted to go to Target to get some things for my new room as well as an outfit for a white party we are having at my new apartment this weekend. Other than that I still had some odds and ends floating around my room to put away and I wanted to suss out the cable situation in my room. These are things you have to do when you move into a new place. I didn’t do everything I had and the day remained largely uneventful save for the ridiculous white outfit I bought from Marshall’s and for the arrival of my new beard trimmer that I bought on Amazon.com. Perhaps I’ll review the beard trimmer on my New in My Apartment blog. I was going to head to the Lighthouse to watch the Met game tonight but the rain put a damper on that plan. Oh well, one sober night out of seven ain’t bad…oh wait, it kind of is.

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