Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Shocking Report: The Good News

Posted by evankessler on May 10, 2007


I’m aware that the length of time between posts is starting to make each new post akin to that of a weekend recap. Though given the time of the week this one is taking place, one might be inclinded to say it’s a Midweek recap. So go ahead…call it a midweek recap… To say the last few days have been eventful would, I suppose, be an understatement. Maybe it would be an overstatement. Perhaps, your definition of eventful is slightly more busy than mine and might also rely heartily on your definition of the word “understatement”. In any case, the past few days have been eventful and of a rather fortuitous nature.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been mentioning outings into the city, calling some of them business and some of them errands. Some actually were errands and some were actually job interviews. On this beautiful Monday past, to begin the week, I ventured into the city for an actual errand run. I was originally tempted to just stay in bed the entire day due to the fact that I had not slept a wink the previous evening on account of feeling ill. However, the weather was too nice for me to avoid the sun altogether and after an hour nap after writing my daily Costner post, I set sail for the city with my iPod in hand starting my Monday journey at The Roots “Without A Doubt” and racing through the W’s passing by songs about Wondering, Wonderwalls, Words, Work and “The World At Large”. My trip to the city wasn’t prolonged by many events just a simple in and out deal and I arrived home to the cheers of the live concert crowd at Madison Garden at the beginning of Johnny Cash’s “Wreck of The Old 97”. I didn’t get much past the crowd noise prior to putting a stop to the Monday iPodysssey leg.

The rest of the evening seemed to be status quo as far as Mondays tend to go. I had a bowl of cereal for dinner since I wasn’t particularly struck by the hungries and I watched 24, which just seems to be getting more and more ridiculous by the second. Well, at least there’s only 2 more episodes. Free at last! Free at last! My Monday nights will be free at last! After another hour of audacious plot twisting, I went to my room to browse the interweb while my roommates while my roommates watched Heroes, which I have no interest in. Upon arriving back at my room I noticed my cell phone vibrating with a voice message notice. When I checked the call log I noticed a West Coast phone number. This was a call I had been waiting for. I had interviewed with an L.A. based production company the previous week for an AP position on a New York based reality show. I immediately returned their call and learned the delightful news, that I had a new job! My mood was transformed from annoyance (from the pathetic episode of 24 to absolute giddyness. Evan Kessler is back on the job…but not for another few weeks until it starts up.

I was absolutely delighted that my morning would not be filled with job hunting and resumé sending. That was a good thing too since the temperature was to be in the mid-70’s and enjoying the sunny weather would be preferral to perusing the interweb indoors in a windowless room. Yes sir and or ma’am, I was in a good mood heading to sleep that night. I went to bed with my hands folded behind my head and ready to drift off to dreamland. While in that blissful dreamland I felt a surge coming through to my hand. I don’t recall what I was dreaming about but the surge did not feel at all relevant. It felt electric. Somehow I was able to determine within my dream that the feeling was based on an occurrence in the actual real world of my bedroom and I was able to rouse myself from my sleep and not a moment too soon. You see, the one electrical outlet in my room is behind the head of my bed and since I have no headboard my extremities are ripe candidates to shake hands with voltage should I feel the need to extend them far enough and I had apparently felt that need this evening in my sleep.

Luckily for me there was no damage sustained. I think there was a little mark that has since disappeared but it must not have been an extreme voltage situation. I was sufficiently freaked out thinking that after such a good day it would have been ironic to accidentally commit suicide in my sleep via electrocution. After pondering a 3am room rearrangement I decided that I’d sleep with my head on the opposite side of the bed for the rest of the evening. The task of finding a safer spot for my bed would have to wait until the next morning or at least until a time when I wasn’t so tired.

Tuesday Morning, I awoke safely, not having had anymore sleep accidents. I was ready to start what effectively was a three week vacation since my new job wouldn’t be starting until the end of May. After the daily Costner post I headed out with my iPod in hand to wander around the neighborhood. My Tuesday iPodyssey began at Johnny Cash’s “Wreck of The Old 97”. Coincidentally, I was wearing my Old 97’s (they were named after that song and I swear I didn’t even think about it before putting it on) band shirt. I walked all the way to Connecticut Muffin on 7th and 1st Streeet and got myself an iced green tea. Unfortunately, there were no spots for me on the bench so I walked all the way to 5th and Union where I sat outside in the blazing sun in front of Louie G’s Ice Cream shop and read my latest book, Sarah Vowell’s Take The Cannoli.

During my sitting streak I welcomed and said goodbye to the 5 songs X-section of the iPodyssey which began with Liz Phair’s “X-Ray Man” and ended with the Magnetic Fields “Xylophone”. The Magnetic Fields also began the Y-section with “Yeah, Oh Yeah”. After a few more Y songs I made for home. There’s only so much sun one can take in per afternoon. I walked through the door to the sound of Radiohead’s “You”, which was as good a place to stop as any since it seemed to be the beginning of a very long section in which a particular word dominated.

The rest of my Tuesday was rather relaxed. After spending some time futzing around my apartment I decided to cook myself some teriyaki chicken for dinner, so I ventured out to the Key Food for supplies. Several minutes later it was cooking time and I resumed the iPodyssey all the way to Yo La Tengo’s “You Can Have it All” which is where my iPod was when I was done cooking. The next 4 to 5 hours were spent couching it in favor of baseball on the idiot box. At around 11:46pm, Arby sent me an IM asking if I wanted to get a drink. Seeing as I had no plans for the next morning I felt I could be up for a few. We met 10 minutes later at The Lighthouse amidst several barstools, one bartender, a bar owner, and no one else. It was a quiet night in The Slope indeed. Three drinks later we called it a night. I went to sleep with my head nowhere near the light socket once again.

Wednesday Morning felt eerily similar to Tuesday. No responsibility save for a Costner post and striking beautiful weather outside once again. I got the blogging out of the way quickly and then high tailed it to Target. Of course I brought my iPod with me. There’s no way I’m not taking that thing with me everywhere seeing as the end of the iPodyssey is so near I can taste it. I resumed at Yo La Tengo’s “You Can Have It All” as I tossed my baseball up in the air to myself never once losing it in the bright sunlight as I walked down the street. Before I knew it I was at Target in the familiar sock aisle. I made a quick study of my options, made my sock selection and promptly paid. Just like that I was out the door, heading back for some more relaxed reading in front of Louie G’s. This time I got my Tea from the Tea Lounge on Union St between 6th and 7th Avenues. I have to say, I most certainly discovered a new favorite coffee/tea joint…maybe. One visit isn’t enough to call something your favorite, though the Green/Lemon Iced Tea was quite the satisfactory beverage.

I sat, reading on a bench outside of Louie G’s until 3:05pm when it was time to go back to my apartment and watch the Mets-Giants game. My Wednesday iPod journey stopped when I got in my apartment at PJ Harvey’s “You Said Something” with a mere 39 songs left on the iPodyssey. Mark my words, the iPodyssey ends Thursday.

Wednesday had already felt productive enough with my trip to target, the reading, and the baseball watching, but Wednesday night also held fun in the palm of it’s hand. Wednesday night is Pub Quiz Night twice a month and while the regular crew has not been making a priority out of it, that didn’t stop Andrew Morton and I from putting our theoretical cards on the table. We arrived at the Black Sheep Pub a determined twosome. After discussing previous favorite quiz team names we settled on “Please Escher Don’t Hurt ‘Em” (like instead of MC Hammer we were referring to MC Escher for those of you who have no idea what we are talking about). We did come up with some good new quiz names though. We added “Full Court Breasts” and “Steenburgen” (as in actress Mary Steenburger, we think it sounds like a 70’s metal band name) to the mix. There was some discussion of “Ted Dancin’ ” but that joke might rely on the name to be too visual to get.

Anyway, Andrew and I were encouraged after our last championship showing with the two of us and Katie nearly a month ago. We were not afraid of the other pesky teams. Besides, quiz night was substantially less crowded than usual and damn those other teams with 4 people. We’re smart cats. “Please Escher Don’t Hurt ‘Em” got off to a mediocre start in the first 3 rounds answering 8 out of 15 correctly including questions about French Prime Ministers, The View, and Tom Hanks Movies. However, the heat was turned up as we swept both rounds 4 and 5, the latter of which was all about film theme songs (don’t waste our time, really). We were sitting pretty at the halfway point tied with two other teams with 18 correct answers.

We had a dogfight on our hands but we were brimming with confidence. Our next two rounds we managed to muster 8 out of 10 possible correct answers, which was way better than the 5 or 6 we had perceived as the right answer. Apparently we know a thing or two about Nazi Generals, Slavic Capitals, Mountain Ranges and Green Day. God bless quiz question diversity. Unfortunately round 8 so us fall back to earth with 2 correct answers, one of which I had learned from Keith Hernandez and Gary Cohen the previous evening during the Mets broadcast (and it wasn’t sports related). Knowledge comes from the strangest places.

Andrew and I were slightly discouraged by the 2-round but we knew we still had a shot at taking home the big bucks. Luckily, for us in round 9 I was able to use my knowledge of “Dora The Explorer” that I gained this passover to our advantage and Andrew relied on his knowledge of Wicca to score us a 4. It was down to one final round, but it wouldn’t be easy. We were at 32 and while that might have been enough in other weeks, it might not be enough today. Luckily Andrew new enough about Birth Control and Michael Jackson and we scored a 3. One of the answers in the round was Candace Bergen but we realized that after we handed in our sheet and couldn’t get it back. Oh well, this was the moment of truth. Could a team of two wipeout an entire bar? Well, almost. It was a tie.

We had tied with a team of 4 with 35 correct answers and it was time for a tie-breaker. The final question. If you were to make a fence that stretched the entire U.S.-Mexico border, how many feet long would it be…the closest team wins. I knew I had to figure out how many feet are in a mile and just multiply it by 3,000 or something like that. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how many feet were in a mile. My final answer was 4,740,000. Unfortunately, I was about 5,000,000 feet short and the other team was a bit closer. Andrew and I finished in 2nd place but we weren’t ashamed. We came to realize that we can probably contend for the money every time from now on and as a team of two split the winnings. We were both $14 richer tonight and pretty happy about it. We’re willing to take on more partners though, the more the merrier. It’s just that if no one wants to join us, well then more money for us. And with the end of quiz night, effectively came the end of Wednesday.

Lots going on Thursday, The End of The Ipodyssey, Cold Hands Collective at The Slipper Room on the LES. There’ll be plenty more to talk about tomorrow night…maybe…if I don’t just fall asleep after coming home…stay tuned.

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