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Archive for March, 2007

From Contenders to Pretenders

Posted by evankessler on March 30, 2007


Happy Thursday night, Friday Morning Everyone. I hope everyone has had an excellent week. I thought before I disappear into the weekend, I’d better get everyone up to speed in regards to my all important ongoings. Fortunately for you there haven’t been too many ongoings this week. It’s mostly been a run of the mill routine of applying for jobs. However I did get down to one activity last evening and let me just say thatWednesday evening was a blight on the history of Pub Quiz.

I arrived at the Black Sheep Pub on Bergen St. around 7:45 where I was joined by Andrew Morton, Maureen, Laura R, Laura B, and quiz newcomer Kelly R. Prior to the start of the quiz at 9pm I got me a $8 pitcher of Michelob and allowed my anxiety to build. I was determined that whatever team I was a part of we were going to win. This would be an important pub quiz as well due to the fact that it was to be Maureen’s last Pub Quiz hurrah before heading off to Los Angeles to find out if there are indeed greener pastures on the West Coast. It was to be a bittersweet evening no matter what the outcome. In a shocking turn of events, we only had enough for two teams of three. We’re usually used to having enough for two teams of 4 and some excess participants who often get divided in an odd manner.

The first team was called “Best Friends 4-Ever” and it consisted of myself, Maureen, Laura R., and Maureen’s brother Patrick who joined us just as the quiz was beginning. The 2nd team went by the name Beers for Fears and was made up of Andrew, Laura B, and Kelly. We were all feeling good about our chances after the 1st 2 rounds. I think our team got 4 out of 5’s the first 2 rounds. Things went downhill fast after that. And after scoring a solid 8 after 2 rounds we had only manage muster up 14 correct answers after 5 rounds. We were 5 points behind the leader. The questions just seemed to get exponentially harder. After a couple more subpar rounds we knew that this was not our week. After being serious contenders in all of our other experiences at Pub Quiz the “Best Friend 4-Ever” finished with 30 points. We were not a proud bunch. “Beers for Fears” did a little better. I think they came up with 32. I felt dejected afterwards. I was kind of annoyed that some of our regulars hadn’t made the trip, but I guess we made our best effort and that’s all that counts. We’re going to win it some day. I just know we will.

I woke up early in the afternoon today (Thursday) as I hadn’t been able to fall asleep until after 4am the previous evening. My first order of business was to come up with a Costner post. My 2nd order of business was to apply for jobs. My third order of business was some room cleansing. The third order of business was largely ignored when I realized that I wanted to go to Target to buy a baseball simply because I like holding a baseball and tossing it up in the air and catching it. I’m easily amused. So with little hesitation, it was off to Target to get me a baseball. I picked up my iPod and hurried towards the Atlantic Center.

It was a lovely day outside though slightly cooler than the day before. I still felt summerific as I walked down 5th avenue listening to “The Sun Goes Down and The World Goes Dancing” by the Magnetic Fields. I got in 3 more Sun songs before I got inside, though two of them were repeats of Supergrass’ “Sun Hits Sky”. The tone rather changed after The Beatles “Sun King” turned into U2’s “Sunday Bloody Sunday”, which somehow seemed appropriate for being amidst the chaos of commerce.

When I finally got to the sporting goods aisles I noticed they were not selling individual baseballs, so I had to get a two-pack (not to be confused with Tupac). While I found that a bit annoying, I couldn’t really complain because it only was going to run me $3.99. That was not to be the last of my purchases though. I decided to purchase Monty Python’s Life of Brian for $9.99 and some mouthwash. At the end of my shopping outing, I had still managed to spend less than $20. After leaving the store I ravaged the wrapping to my tw0-pack of baseballs and immediately began to toss it up in the air while I walked home. It was a completely relaxing and engaging new wrinkle for my normally static walking routine. I happily strutted down the street being careful not to deflect my new toy into the street where I would not be able to jump in front of a car and retrieve it. I made it home to the tune of Lauryn Hill’s “Superstar” playing on my iPod and I certainly felt like a superstar with my new baseball.

Overly pleased with myself I decided to boost my ego even more by going to the gym. I kept my iPodyssey going for another 15 tracks while I sweated at the No Frills Fitness Center as I like to call it. Soon enough though, I walked through the door to the tune of the Talking Heads’ “Swamp”. I thought that would do it for Thursday’s portion of the iPodyssey but then I remembered I had left out some chicken to defrost. Time to cook and chill. The Thursday finally ended as Clem Snide’s “Sweet Mother Russia” began and I mixed my chicken and brocolli with the pasta I had prepared. Nothing like the feeling of a meal well cooked and ready to be enjoyed by the chef. The rest of the night was a TV watching and Fantasy team tinkering festival. I know it all sounds too good to be true but I promise you there’ll be more going on this weekend because I lead the most exciting life in New York City. Have a good weekend. I’ll catch you on the recap.

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Dear Mr. Fantasy

Posted by evankessler on March 28, 2007

Hello Baseball fans…or people who have no interest in Baseball whatsoever. Sorry to have kept you waiting for the latest EvanKessler.com update. I know you were all eagerly awaiting my 24 running diary on Tuesday morning and were probably heartbroken when you were welcomed by my weekend recap, which you had no doubt read the day before. I hope you accept my apology but a new day has come and with it, a new post.

The reason I didn’t get to my 24 diary on Monday was simply because I did not watch that evening’s installment of the Jack Bauer Power Hour. Instead I was embroiled in a marathon Fantasy Baseball draft on CBS Sportsline. The draft was not a previously planned event. I was having a rather run of the mill unemployed Monday afternoon when Arby sent me and IM asking if I’d be interested in joining his fantasy baseball league that was having it’s draft that evening, since someone had dropped out. I took almost a millisecond to accept his invitation. I’m a sucker for competitive sport-type things that don’t require any running or physical exertion. The draft was to be held a little after 8pm so I had plenty of time to read my Fantasy Baseball magazine and go engage in some physical activity at the gym.

I left my apartment for the First Time on Monday at 4:30pm with my iPod in hand and headed to my no frills local gym while listening to Pavement’s “Stray Fire”. The entire outing only lasted about 40 plus minutes or 14 songs. I stepped off the elliptical while listening to Stealers’ Wheel “Stuck in the Middle with You”. Just as I began descending the steep steps with my wobbly legs to the lower level of the gym I heard the lyrics “…and I’m wonderin’ how I’ll get down those stairs”. Talk about a coincidence. The fitness experience came to a close as I walked back into my apartment to the tune of Bob Dylan’s “Stuck Inside of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again” and showered up in preparation to sit on my ass for several hours. I made sure I wouldn’t starve through the proceedings by picking up a sandwich from Blink 182.

At around 8:30pm I was ready to select the first player for my team “Met Offensive”, a name derived from combining the name of my favorite baseball team (The Mets) with the name of an event from the Vietnam War (Tet Offensive). With the 4th overall pick in the draft I secured Philadelphia Phillies slugger Ryan Howard. My team was finally done drafting 4 hours later as I selected Detroit Tigers Outfielder, Curtis Granderson, to join my motley roster or Major League Misfits. The draft was an exhausting process that left me in no mood to post anything, but somehow I mustered up the energy to do some reading before dozing off to sleep.

Met Offensive Anchor Ryan Howard

I woke up this morning (Tuesday) on precious little sleep, but I had to muster up enough energy to make it into the city and run some errands. I reinstituted my iPodyssey to the tune of “Stuck Inside of Stuck Inside of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again” and headed towards the subway. I made it through one more “Stuck” song and a slew of “Stupid” ones as I took a great train ride over the river and through Manhattan to the Upper West Side. It was a beautiful day and I was certainly moved to do some wandering as the temperatures reached the 70’s. It was a therapeutic sensation to bask in the sunlight. Weight seemed to drop off my shoulders as the sun shone down on them and believe me there was a lot of weight with all of this unemployment business.

While waiting for my subway back to Brooklyn I noticed a family of tourists most likely from West Virginia. How did I know they were from West Virginia? Well, they were all wearing West Virginia University sweatshirts. At this point, my life as a New York City inhabitant flashed before my eyes and I came to the odd realization that probably the most common uniform for the average American family visiting New York City is that of the gear of their local University of which sports team they are mighty proud. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve encountered tourists clad in their Ohio State, Indiana, or Nebraska gear as a show of hometown pride abroad.

In any case, not that it was a big deal, it was just a strange thing that occurred to me. It would be akin to me visiting Texas and making sure I wore a shirt that said “New York” in bold letters everywhere I went. Not that New Yorkers don’t do that…I just think we’re less likely to.

With that observation out of the way, I made my way back home on the good ol’ B train. I arrived back in Brooklyn and after a string of “Sugar”-y songs emerged from the subway with the sounds of “Summer” filling my ears. It was quite appropriate as I walked on the sunny side of the street to the tune of Kathleen Edwards “Summer Long” and The Kings of Convenience “Summer on the Westhill”. As I walked through the door Death Cab’s “Summer Skin” was coming to an end. I was ready to conquer the rest of the day and apply for more and more employment when, much to my chagrin, my internet was once again failing.

We had made an appointment with the cable company for between 12 and 4 but I was restless. I sat around killing time until a little after 2pm when Marty suggested that he would wait for the Cable guy and that I should go to Gorilla Coffee. I heeded his advice and off to the Coffee shop I went. I got a iced chai latte and set up my computer at one of the tables. I began to do research and write out the latest Costner post. When that was done, I scanned my email and craigslist for possible employment opportunities. However, I found the environment to be terribly intrusive as two guys next to me yelled about the map that was above me and to the left. I had my headphones on but could not avoid their continuous racket. Luckily, a little after that Marty sent me an IM and notified me that the Internet along with the Cable had been revived at home.

At that moment I headed straight for home and plopped myself down on the coach to enjoy the wireless Internet in a comfortable, relaxed setting. I had to prepare for a second consecutive evening of dorkiness as I was to draft yet another Fantasy Baseball team. This time it was for the league that I had expected to be in all along. For the past several years I’ve taken part in my friend Werner’s league and although he moved to Colorado, the league still continues. The only difference is that the draft had to be later on account of the time difference.

I took the next several hours to pre-rank my players so that I wouldn’t be scrambling throughout the draft to see who to pick next. I also made myself a nice dinner consisting of flank steak, broccoli, and brown rice and burned through 5 songs on my iPodyssey while I cooked. (Death Cab’s “Summer Skin” to The Magnetic Fields “The Sun Goes Down and The World Goes Dancing”. I even got some TV time in and watched last night’s episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report which I had missed due to last night’s selection marathon.

My only hope was that tonight the Baseball gods would be merciful and that instead of a draft where each pick was without a time limit, the rounds would speed by like life so often does, in the blink of an eye. When 9:30pm rolled around I was seated my computer ready to draft a new team, also named “Met Offensive” (I just want somebody to get it). This time I had the 2nd pick in the draft and went with New York Mets Shortstop José Reyes. It felt nice to get a Met in the lineup with my 1st pick so I didn’t have to change the team name. Forty-Five minutes later in round 21 I was selecting Kansas City Royals 3rd Baseman Mark Teahen to round out my roster. Compared to the previous evening, tonight’s picking process was pretty painless. I’m not sure if my team is any good but at least the hard part is over with. Now my one goal is to WIN, WIN, WIN…as I unleash my own Met Offensive on unsuspecting opponents.

Reyes of Light

So there you have it. That’s pretty much how I’ve spent the last two days in a magical FantasyBaseball Land. Now I must get back to reality…and what a harsh reality it is.

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Get A Haircut and Get A Real Job

Posted by evankessler on March 22, 2007


Over the past few weeks the pressure has been mounting for me to actually get a real job. I’ve been sending out resumés and applying to every job in the great big sea of financial security that seems even remotely interesting. Unfortunately, I’ve had very few nibbles on my line. My options seemed to be running out and I had begun to think about picking up my belongings and setting up shop somewhere else; Perhaps on another coast where the employment flows like wine. I’m not really sure what makes someone employable but if my recent history is of any indication, I do not have that certain something that makes someone want to utter the words…”you’ve got the job.”…Or at least that’s the way I felt until yesterday. Early Afternoon on Tuesday, my cell phone rang and displayed an unfamiliar 212 number. There was a slight hesitation on my part to answer straightaway, as lately I’ve been persistently pestered by certain charitable organizations hoping to obtain my services for unpaid labor. Now, I’m not stranger to working for peanuts but I’m looking for something I can hang my hat on or at least something that can provide me with a valuable experience. Luckily, at the other end of the line, was a person that might be able to provide me with such an experience. I’m not going to elaborate on the opportunity that was set up…but let’s just say that I have an interview set up for Thursday morning. Regardless of what happens…I feel the winds of change slowly blowing towards Brooklyn.

After receiving the encouraging phone call I headed over to Barnes & Noble with one mission in mind…buy a Fantasy Baseball Magazine. For the last several years I’ve been engaged in a futile struggle to finish in a respectable position in my Fantasy Baseball league. I always feel the need to arm myself with as much information as possible heading into the draft, though to be honest, I’m not really sure what good the information does. I barely read the magazine and basically use their mock draft as my guideline. I use the exact same order they picked. If someone is picked before I get to them then I just cross that player off. It’s not a scientific method but I also cross off players that I hate, which probably hurts my chances more. In any case, that’s why I went to the B&N and on my way there I resumed my iPodyssey with Yo La Tengo’s “Sometimes I Don’t Get You” which is another stellar track off of their latest album, I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass.

There was an excellent soundtrack for my walk to the bookstore as two of my favorite Karaoke songs bookended my absolute favorite Kathleen Edwards song. I felt like belting Dan Hill’s “Sometimes When We Touch”, Ms. Edwards’ “Somewhere Else”, and Linda Rondstadt and James Ingram’s “Somewhere Out There” at the top of my lungs while walking but I was afraid people would look at me funny. I was in a good mood though, so let them stare. Aside from my purchase of my 2007 Fantasy Baseball bible my trip to Barnes & Noble was uneventful. I arrived home to Galaxie 500’s “Sorry” and put my iPod to bed for a few minutes.

Quite pleased with the events of Tuesday early afternoon, I headed into Manhattan at around 5:2oPM to meet with my good friend Jaime to discuss life, love, the pursuit of happiness (not the Will Smith movie) and our impending High School reunion. It had probably been since around Thanksgiving when we saw each other last and we had much to catch up on. Jaime had been living the engaged life and she got a new dog and I had a lot of general life things to talk about. I hopped on the R train at Union St. in route to Manhattan while once again resuming the iPodyssey.

It took from Galaxie 500’s “Sorry” to Portishead’s “Sour Times” before Jaime was standing right in front of me at the Wachovia Building at South Ferry. From there we walked to South St. Seaport and sat on the deck as birds flew at our heads. We talked about work, life, travel, and what not…you know, the things we expected to talk about. However, it’s different talking to Jaime about things like that since she always has a lot to add and she does more than listen. She provides much needed insight. Part of me has always wondered why she never became a psychiatrist. She would certainly be very good at it….well, she already is.

After several minutes of dodging seagulls, Jaime and I headed for a Japanese restaurant somewhere downtown. I think it was called Ichiro. No word on weather or not it was owned by the Seattle Mariners hit machine of the same name. In any case, it was a pleasant meal and the audio from Jeopardy piping through the restaurant only enhanced the atmosphere. I was even compelled to answer “What are the Green Mountains?” once. Jaime and I went through the list of people we wanted to see for the high school reunion. She said it would be fun to see the “random people”. I for the life of me couldn’t figure out who those “random people” might be. Nonetheless, it was fun to try to name people from the past.

Jaime and I split from Ichiro just as Wheel of Fortune was coming on. I refuse to watch that show and I have no desire to listen to it either. We took a nice walk to the nearest 2,3 station and went our merry ways, I to Brooklyn, and Jaime to the Upper West Side. Upon arriving home at 8:30pm to the tune of The Verve’s “Space and Time” I decided to watch the Kevin Costner film 13 Days and call it a night.

I awoke at a reasonable hour this morning with full knowledge what I was going to write for Costner blog, so that was the thing weighing least heavily on my mind. After that post was done, I made a haircut appointment and readied myself for another Manhattan trip. Unfortunately, my iPod was still adapting to my computer since 10 minutes before it was time to leave my PowerBook uncharacteristically froze. Therefore, I had to make way for the East Village sans-iPod. It was either that or pull out my iPod connection early and risk erasing it again. That was not an option. Luckily I had a book to read. Marty had lent me Bill Bryson’s “A Short History of Nearly Everything” quite some time ago, so this seemed like a good time to get started on it.

I made it into Manhattan with about 30 minutes to kill prior to my haircut. I went to Kim’s on St. Marks and perused the CDs until I had 15 minutes left. I decided that with 15 minutes before my hair appointment I could sit at Hair Mates and do some reading before it was time to get the shampoo treatment. Boy was I wrong. Right as I walked in somebody took my coat to hang up and a girl escorted me to her shampoo station. They were looking to get ahead of schedule at Hair Mates Salon on St. Marks. Unfortunately, for the nth time in a row I didn’t get the erotic head massage during the shampoo…just a quick shampoo in rinse with no temple stimulation or neck kneading.

When I got to my normal hairstylist’s chair, she was working on someone else but walked away from her to trim my tresses. However, it seemed all business this time. Hair Mates was had turned into an efficient lock lopping operation. It was as if I was out the door as soon as they had invited me in…only I was several dollars poorer. That being said, I also had less hair and I looked better and certainly better groomed.

From Hair Mates I took a walk to the Strand Book store in search of more reading material. Sure, I just started reading a new book but I could finish this one any minute. Then what would I do? I ended up buying Sarah Vowell’s “Take The Cannoli” for only $4.95. I had previously read her book “Assassination Vacation” and absolutely loved it, so I figured it was time to read some more of her stuff. Fresh from my new purchase, I hopped on the Q train and made towards Park Slope, still reading my Bill Bryson book. While going over the bridge I noticed that my phone had some voice messages on it. They must’ve called while we were underground though since my phone did not ring once. As I finally reached my destination and could check my voice mail, I discovered that someone else wanted me in for an interview. The good news keeps getting gooder.

I returned home to my abode and heard my stomach growl. To satisfy the savage beast I prepared some flank steak and broccoli over brown rice. Mmmm…Mmmm…Mmmm. While this was being done I listened from The Verve’s “Space and Time” to David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” on the iPodyssey.

I didn’t give myself much time to let my meal settle as I soon headed over with iPod in hand to Buck’s Lodge where my friend Rachel was bartending. The walk there didn’t take as long as I thought it would and I only made it 9 songs from “Space Oddity” to Pavement’s “Speak, See, Remember”. While there we talked with some guy about Cleveland and I watched Syracuse lose to Clemson in the NIT Quarterfinals. Not really a big deal to lose in the NIT Quarterfinals since I don’t really think anyone wants to be playing in the NIT tournament anyway. At around 11pm I said goodnight and headed back home. This time I only burned through 6 songs from “Speak, See, Remember” to Wilco’s “Spiders (Kidsmoke)”. There was nothing left to do after getting home but watch the Colbert Report, South Park, and hit the sack. Big day tomorrow. There’s dressing up to do and people to impress. Also, I’m going to see Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard and Ray Price in concert with the brother. Should be fun. I’ll tell you all about it someday.

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The Continuing Story of Pub Quiz ( The Correct Answers)

Posted by evankessler on March 15, 2007


This here is the story of an above average Wednesday night in Brooklyn. Like all good stories there’s going to be some preamble and exposition before we get to the meaty part. When all is said and done, even if you aren’t sure you’ve heard the meatiest part, you can rest assured that you have.

Now what would a Wednesday be without a Tuesday. Odds are it would be a Tuesday. I wouldn’t be doin’ Wednesday any dang justice by neglecting to tell you just how this young sharpshooter spent his Tuesday. Legend has it that Evan Kessler spend his darn tootin’ Tuesday in the most darnedest way possible. He aimed his six shooter at a target about 2 miles away in Manhattan, trying hit the employment bullseye. Unfortunately, that bullet completely missed even the outermost target and ricocheted off a few buildings before settling all nice and quiet like on a sidestreet somewhere under a marquee. The best part about that is he didn’t even have to leave his Brooklyn Apartment. He was firing shots all over the place and while no targets were hit, nothing got damaged ‘cept for maybe the pride of this young sharpshooter.

Our hero figured to take a stroll and stop feelin’ so doggone down. As he strolled outside down the dusty path into town he had the sweet tune of Ryan Adams “She’s Lost Total Control” bouncing around his brain. He headed on to his local savings and loan to watch the money swirl around from his unemployment fund to his checking account. “Look at that there money go”, he exclaimed. Not once did it occur to him to knock the joint over. A job like that is best left to outlaws like Jesse James, William H. Bonney, or maybe even a Kris Kristofferson. After watchin’ all the money change hands it was time for our Mr. Kessler to pick up a copy of his local newspaper. Despite being confined to his solitary station in the world, our hero had a yearnin’ to know about the world around him. He’s worldly like that. I suppose that knowledge is something a man can be proud of. He returned home still sporting a song in his brain, only this time it was a different one. It was a bunch of Beastie Boys from around these parts spouting off some silly rhymes about how “She’s Crafty” or something or other.

Upon arriving home he took that paper and dang near read all of it. Though to be fair readin’ is just a generous term for scannin’. He kept the humming along to the music all the while. He finally put that intee-lec-shoo-al piece a paper down as a Matthew Sweet’s “Sick of Myself” echoed throughout the room. That pretty much did it for the day except for a trip to the general store and a good ol’ fashion hearty meal of Rice, Beans, and Chicken. The rest of the evening was spent settled down on the furniture and taking in some visual entertainment.

Our hero had to rise at the early hour of 9am this here Wednesday morning. Now, I know 9am ain’t very early for those who work on the farm, but to our hero that’s about as early as can be. Ain’t nobody ever cock-a-doodle doo’s round his parts before 10 in the AM, past month or so. I reckon something important must’ve been going on in order to rouse him from his slumber at such an unlikely. Turns out he had to go down to the Unemployment Office for some sort of o-ree-en-tay-shun. Now, I ain’t never had me no o-ree-en-tay-shun…but it don’t sound like too much fun.

As the story goes, this cowboy vacted his premises in order to make it to the o-ree-en-tay-shun at around 10:05am. He didn’t take no horse though. He mosied on down to 250 Schemerhorn St. on the 3rd floor. On his way, he shuffled several more songs through his consciousness. He took up where he left off with that ol’ Matthew Sweet song and rolled on through Travis’ “Side”, Ben Lee’s “Side View” and even two versions of Luna’s “Sideshow by the Seashore”. What could possess a man to enjoy the same song twice in a row? Don’t that beat all? There were other songs too but too numerous to mention all of them.

The time spent in that there unemployment office was quite uneventful and our protagonist had to wonder who it was helping. An elderly man read off job listings for positions at dining establishments that certainly did not appeal to most people present in that there room. Feeling as though it had been a great waste of time, Mr. Kessler reversed his mosey back towards his humble home. He returned home after a couple of songs about Silver and his brain rested on one particular Bob Dylan song entitled “Simple Twist of Fate” as he twisted his key in the door.

On the other end of the door our sharpshooter picked up his revolver and fired a few more shots at employment targets with similar results as he had seen the day before. Instead of sulking in his chagrin, he made for the door to the store filled with books. He restarted the previous tune in his head and made for the Barnes & Noble. That Barnes & Noble was certainly packed to the brim with readin’. I have to hand it to those guys. I don’t know who does more work, Barnes or Noble, but I give ’em all the credit in the world.

As our learned lovable loser scanned over the libros he noticed several titles in particular, aimed at dummies. Now, I don’t know ’bout you, but our man had to wonder how readin’ somethin’ for dummies was bound to make the reader feel. Especially on titles like “Depression For Dummies”. If a dummy can’t get over depression by readin’ “Depression for Dummies” ain’t that gonna make them more depressed? Sounds a little bit hinky if you ask me. After about 40 minutes of scanning the volumes of verbiage, Evan decided to high tail it home for some further periodical perusing. He picked up the times and arrived at his home to the tune of some Nada Surf singing about “Sleep” or something like that.

An hour after returning back home our Urban Cowboy made a move to better his physical standing by taking some time out to run on something called an “Elliptical”, and wouldn’t you know it he played songs into his head while doing that too. He went from hearing songs about “Sleep” all the way to one where some New Pornographers sang about a “Slow Descent Into Alcoholism”. I know what that’s like. That pretty much did it for the musical portion of the
day. Next up was the academic allotment.

At around 8:30 in the PM Evan headed out to a Black Sheep Pub for some rowdy times with the Pub Quiz Gang. The pub quiz gang consisted of Laura R, Laura B, Andrew, Mike H, Stephen H, Katie O, Maureen H, and Pete F. There were 9 folks on hand and there could only be as many as 4 on a team. The teams split up into threes and Evan was a member of “The Correct Answers” with Laura R and Stephen. The Correct Answers were quite the posse for being only three folks. They rustled up quite the score in the first half at the contest. The quiz master originally shortchanged them one point, but The Correct Answers set him straight. They weren’t playin’ no games…except Pub Quiz. Unfortunately, for The Correct Answers the questions got much more difficult in 2nd half. Despite their promising start the group had just about met their demise. When the scores were all added up there was a tie. Seems The Correct Answers were all knotted up with 2 other teams for 3rd place. There would be a tie breaker question to determine which team would hit pay dirt for that free round of beer given to the third place team.

The teams eagerly awaited their tiebreaker question. then it happened. The quizmaster asked, “How many species of Rodents are there?”. Evan wrote the number 38 on a napkin as a pure guess. Stephen wrote out 1200 and after several seconds of reasoning the team decided on Stephen’s answer. Upon handing it in the tension was so think you could cut it with a knife, albeit a butter knife, but that’s still a knife. It ain’t no Crocodile Dundee Knife but what is these days. You can’t carry that ’round these here parts.

Several seconds later the announcer said that the answer was “2000”. The Correct Answers had gotten the incorrect answer. However, there was still hope since it was all about who was closest. However, they would soon learn that they were not the closest and would not be getting a free beer. In fact, they came smack in the middle between the two other teams tied for 3rd place. That meant they were officially 4th place. There would be no pub quiz victory tonight…but Evan and his compadres vowed that they’d get revenge next time…and that they’d be more prepared.

So that’s it…That’s the entire story. I hope you didn’t miss the entire meat of the story…and if you did…well go back and find it.

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Out of Werk

Posted by evankessler on March 8, 2007

Hey all my EvanKessler.comsters. How goes it? Man have I been giving this site the shaft as of late. I wholeheartedly apologize. It’s not you…it’s me. You see, despite being unemployed things can get busy from time to time and while this site is still the most important thing to me…some times daddy has to do grown up things.

I’ve certainly had my fair share of nights on the town this week which is probably why I haven’t kept you up to speed with goings on, but before we get into the sordid night life of one Evan J. Kessler, we can jump into the week feet first with a little trepidation. I’ll start in the shallow end and dip my toes in to check if the water’s warm by letting you know a little bit how the week started.

I woke up quite early on Monday morning with the intention of getting as much job hunting done and preparing for a trip into the city. The weather wasn’t to off putting and I got into my iPodyssey as I stepped out into the slightly chilly winter air listening to Gram Parsons “Return of The Grievous Angel” and before my train had reached my final Manhattan destination I had listened to both the Beatles “Revolution 1” and “Revolution 9”. I wasn’t really thinking about the latter until the former popped up. I was sort of dreading it actually since it’s one of those songs that can freak you out if you’re not listening to it in its original album context. I was in the middle of reading Kurt Vonnegut’s “Sirens of Titan” so I had to stop reading because all of the voices and abstract sounds were breaking my concentration.

After running around in the city for a bit, I finally made for home but unfortunately the closest trains from where I was on 86th st. that would take me home were not running and snow had begun to fall. I had to walk several avenues to get to the 1 train. As I was walking I heard Jesse Malin’s “Riding On The Subway”. If only the B train was running I could’ve heard it on the subway giving me a nice iPodyssey coincidence. Though, admittedly, I listen to my iPod mostly on the subway so that’s not exactly fate.

I arrived home as Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock sang “It Takes Two”. It’s in the R’s on my iPodyssey because it’s listed as “Rob Base – It Takes Two”. So it was an unnatural occurrence but an occurrence nonetheless. My subway adventure had taken away from my in apartment downtime as I had to head back to the city for a former co-worker going away bash. There was time for a little chatting it up with Marty, then a shower, and just like that…back into Manhattan.

This time I headed for the Herald Sqaure region where I met up with Atlas Folks for Michael Werkmeister’s going away party. If you’re not familiar with the Werkmeister, he is an efficient German TV production machine who pretty much earned a spot as the Jack of All Trades at Atlas after serving many months as an intern. Despite the fact that his co-workers most likely needed him desperately, Werkmeister was off to Germany to finish his education and no doubt go on to run a major corporation to rival Microsoft in the near future. He may just take over the world, but before he went off and did that it was time to drink to all the good he had done in our world.

I arrived at one of the 4 Blaggard’s Pubs in the area with Ben Folds “Rockstar” blasting on my iPod at around 7:15 to find just 3 other folks at the gathering. It was myself, Kevin W, Werkmeister, and his girlfriend Anya. We soon broke into conversation about European arts funding and what not. It was actually very interesting but soon enough more folks would pile including Sarah L, Ashir G, Carrie K, Alexa C, Evald, Kate K, Kim W and I think a few other folks. All in all I was surprised more people didn’t come out to pay tribute for this efficient German lad who warmed our hearts and made a difference in our day to day existence. Despite the fact that more people should’ve been there, the crowd seemed like it was made up of the right people. We were all game for a little drunken revelry and we certainly made a night out of it. I believe it was a little after 1am when I finally slid in the door to my apartment.

Anya and The Werkmeister
Ashir, Myself, and Sarah Put On A Happy Face

When I woke up Tuesday Morning I felt a tad bit hazy. However I took great relief in knowing that my roommate had taped 24 the night before, so I hadn’t missed anything in my drunken stupor. My day resumed as planned. I applied to jobs and drank tea as my normal unemployed workday ritual goes. It was hella cold though and I only ventured outside during the afternoon to drop off my laundry

At around 6:45 I made a bold move into Manhattan. I took my iPod with me and went from Ben Folds “Rockstar” to Bruce Springsteen’s “Rosalita” before reaching my predetermined destination to see my friend John Szeluga host a Comedy show at the Village Lantern called Tuesday Night Hate. John and I took improv class together at the UCB and I was really eager to see him do some standup. I was none too surprised when he was actually very good. For the most part, the comedy that night was above average, though there were a few subpar comedians. I’m not going to name names, mostly because I don’t remember them. There were 2 blonde girls in the front row though who every comedian kept picking on because they were cute. There were also 2 good looking girls from Oregon in the middle who were semi-targets but since they sat further back avoided receiving the heavy artillery. After the girls those same girls were standing by the exit inquiring about where the Spotted Pig was as well as where they could score some cocaine. I would not be of help either way.


I left the Village Lantern shortly after talking with the show’s organizer and got me some pizza at the Pizza Booth before heading back to Brooklyn. As I waited at the atW. 4th street station between the FV and BD track I resumed my iPodyssey and made a plan. If the FV came first I’d go to visit my friend Rachel who was bartending at Buck’s Lodge on Atlantic. If the BD came first I’d go home. The V came first and it was off to do some more drinking. On the train ride towards Atlantic I had an epiphany. Well it was not so much an epiphany as a really great musical moment. I heard a back to back of “Roses” by the Magnetic Fields and “Roses” by Outkast and they just seemed to flow into each other. I determined that i would have to try that on a mix sometime. I strolled into bucks at about 10:45 to the tune of Johnny Cash’s “Rowboat” putting my iPodyssey to rest for the evening and in several hours time I only had two beers. I did some nursing. I left Buck’s at last call and headed back to my Park Slope abode via car service.

I woke up this morning feeling mighty fine and ready to some work. I attempted to edit a video for my Kevin Costner site in time to post at 2pm but instead I just came up with some nonsensical filler. The majority of my day was spent messing around with a video clip in iMovie and preparing it for youtube as well as the Costner blog. I finally finished the clip around 6:45pm and before I sent it off into the YouTube Sea, I cooked myself a nice steak dinner in celebration while letting the iPodyssey run from Johnny Cash’s “Rowboat” to Ben Lee’s “Run”. It’s all in a days work and now tomorrow I can just focus on one word JOB. God knows I really need to.

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Cocks for Smart People

Posted by evankessler on March 5, 2007

New Trend Alert:

Remember back in the 90’s when douchebags were wearing “Cocks” hats? I do too. It was quite unfortunate. In any case I’ve decided to start a similar new trend, only for smart people.
Yesterday, for no apparent reason Whittier College in California popped up in my brain and I immediately wondered what their merchandise looked like.

After a little research I came upon their bookstore site and found these shirts:

I was relieved there was nothing ornate and silly to the t-shirt design and decided that I, Evan Kessler, would start a trend by ordering one of these shirts. So, It is with much pleasure that I declare the hot new trend for smart people is the simple Whittier t-shirt. Don’t be the last on the bandwagon.

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Where Does The Time Go?

Posted by evankessler on March 2, 2007

Where does the time go? It’s been several days since the last real update. The iPodyssey seems to be falling by the wayside as a post topic a little bit. This week has been somewhat of a social blur and to be honest, I have a bit of a headache tonight so this post is going to be everything short of remarkable.

In the unaccounted missing time we’ve leapt into the March and I’ve managed to plow through about 143 songs on my iPodyssey as we’ve gone from John Mellencamp’s “Pink Houses” to Pavement’s “Range Life”. That’s a remarkable amount of progress made in the midst of birthday celebrations, trips to Manhattan, nights out on the town and finally this past day which saw yet another unemployment brunch for the 2nd straight week in Jersey City.

Once again the crew of Anna M, Maureen H, and myself descended upon Starling’s apartment for a feast which this time consisted of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and Mimosas. However, instead of engaging in another 5 hour marathon game of Trivial pursuit, the lot of us played a new game. It seems Starling and a friend of his devised a game called Speed Scrabble in which no board or tileholders are used. It was actually quite genius and I look forward to teaching people this new way of the scrabble.

In any case, as I mentioned before, my head is pounding and instead of expanding on the last few days I shall lay my weary head down. Perhaps I’ll add some pictures at a later date but weh shall see. I need to sleep.

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