Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Not About Love

Posted by evankessler on February 15, 2007

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. I hope you all enjoyed yourself today, but to me an unemployed malingerer, everyday is the 14th. Using that reasoning yesterday was the 14th as well so maybe I should catch you up on that.

Hmmm, well, my Tuesday was actually quite eventful as far as eventful unemployed days go. I met up with Andrew Morton for some lunch at a new diner on 5th avenue and 8th street. On my way to meet him I burned through several songs on the iPodyssey, starting at Johnny Cash’s “No Earthly Good” and stopping on Weezer’s “No One Else”. We had a nice lunch, I suppose. There was nothing too special about the diner. It wasn’t so bad though. There are certain rules to obey when one goes to a diner. Usually one is only allowed to get breakfast, appetizers, or basic sandwiches. One should never order any fish dish such as Halibut. The reason for this is that everyone knows not to order Halibut at a diner, so there’s no telling how old the Halibut they have been waiting to prepare has been waiting to be prepared. With that in mind, both Andrew and I made the diner-safe choice that is the Grilled Cheese Sandwich. I had mine with Cheddar and Turkey Bacon and I believe he had his with good ol’ American. Over lunch we chatted about Comedy, Woody Allen, Kevin Costner, Comedy Central’s programming mishaps, and several other subjects. We probably only sat there for an hour but in that time I was reminded to throw Catch-22, and the comedic Casino Royale into my netflix queue.

When we broke off after lunch I resumed my iPodyssey making it from Weezer’s “No One Else” to Townes Van Zandt’s “No Place To Fall” as I walked in through the door to my apartment.
As I sat down at my computer I remembered that it was Tuesday and on Tuesday’s in my neighborhood something very special happens. Bierkraft, perhaps the best store in all of Brooklyn, has cheese and beer tastings for about the first 20-30 Customers to show up at 6:30pm. I called Jess A, who lives in the neighborhood and asked if she wanted to go with me. Jess A and I have been friends since we did some TRF projects together back in Syracuse. Back then she always seemed to be discussing food and even now she’s always game to go to food events.

When 6:30 rolled around I stood outside waiting for Jess, who eventually showed up at 6:40 with her friends Stacy and Jen. We just barely got the last tickets to the tasting. Instead of this week’s tasting being beer and cheese it was switched to beer and beer infused chocolates in honor of el día de San Valentín. When 6:55 came around the folks at Bierkraft led us into a little room in the basement with about 20-30 chairs tightly packed in with a narrow aisle down the middle. The room reminded me of an interrogation room with way too many chairs or maybe a room in my hebrew school minus the wooden desks that were unfriendly to left handed students such as myself.

The guy who was in charge of the tasting session was the most super laid back person ever, as he just seemed to be sighing the entire presentation. I actually kind of enjoyed that aspect of his presentation. It was like he knew what he was talking about but he didn’t care enough to shove down your throat that he knew more than you. It wasn’t about his knowledge it was about what you thought of the beer and the chocolate. I didn’t have any questions he needed to answer, I wasn’t trying to become a know it all about beer and beer infused chocolate. I just wanted to taste good beer and taste good chocolate. There were 5 beers and 5 chocolates infused with the 5 types of beer. My favorite of the lot was the Abita Purple Haze pairing.

This whole event probably took us until a little after 8pm and when I emerged from the basement I was back in the store where I saw the comedian Eugene Mirman pouring over some culinary selections. Now, this is a very strange but not strange coincidence. I feel like every time I walk out of the house (which is admittedly not too much lately) I cross paths with this very funny gentleman. I’m never compelled to say anything because frankly, it might make things uncomfortable if I should continue to run into him regularly and also because he’s just a person who obviously lives in the neighborhood. We seem to just have similar strolling schedules, unless he just walks up and down 5th avenue to freak people out and make them say “I keep seeing that guy”.

After the chocolate tasting, Jess, Stacy, Jen, and I all went to Union Hall for a drink, but we ended up staying for 2 or 3 and some food. While we were there we were approached by resident Bocce pro Zeke, who I had met on Christmas Eve while Arby and I tried to improve our game. He kept coming over and making us listen to music that he wanted to play at a charity event. He wanted to know if it would make us dance. The girls kept replying it was too loungy with each song he played them. When I listened I thought, “people could probably dance to this”, but that just goes to show what I know. During our time at Union Hall I basically zoned out on the Bocce games being played as the girls I just kept complaining about someone who used to be their friend. I had no frame of reference to participate in the majority of their conversation and I was tired to begin with. I ate my chili and stared blankly at the nearby court. At around 1opm I made my way back to my apartment where the night came to an end after some Daily Show and Colbert Report viewing.

I woke up this morning, fully cognizant of the fact that it was Valentine’s Day, not because I had any responsibilities toward anyone of the female persuasion, but merely because I had to make sure that I put up my Valentine’s Day Costner Post. Once that got done it was pretty much clear sailing. The only thing on my to do list was to go to the Supermarket and get some goods, so I put on the ol’ iPod to resume my iPodyssey while shopping. I made it from Townes Van Zandt’s “No Place To Fall” to Ben Lee’s “No Room To Bleed” between leaving for Key Food and returning to my aparment. The latter of the songs was the 2nd in a Ben Lee tw0-fer with “No Right Angles”. On another note, while at the Key Food I ran into Pat T, a former VH1 producer who is also currently enjoying being in the throes of unemployment. Running into people at the supermarket really makes you feel suburban.

I eschewed the idea of putting away my iPod when I got home and decided that I would continue my iPodyssey while making a sandwich and reading the New York Times in preparation of a possible Valentine’s Day Pub Quiz. Alas, the Pub Quiz plan fell apart but the Dead Parrots will be back at it on February 28th unless something annoying comes up. The reading and eating outing took me from Ben Lee’s “No Room To Bleed” to Whiskeytown’s “Not Home Anymore”.

When I returned to my room I noticed a Myspace message from Jess S. wishing me a Happy Valentine’s day. That made me feel good but what didn’t make me feel good was the vexing quandary that filled my brain afterwards. Whenever someone sends me a message with a nice sentiment, I often feel pressured that I have to return the exact sentiment. In doing so, I fear that the sentiment I convey will come off only as reactionary instead of being pure, as if it were only been done just because it was done to me. In most cases, I elect to not return the sentiment, but if I do decide to return said sentiment I usually do it in a way that lacks any affection so as to shy away from appearing sentimental. This is what certain people would call a defense mechanism.

That was probably the most thought provoking portion of my day. The rest of the day was spent whiling away the hours on the Internet until I decided to cook myself dinner. Dinner took me from “Not Home Anymore” to the opening bars of Sinead O’Connor singing “Nothing Compares 2 U”. I didn’t want to get into the song because I would rather be walking down the street tomorrow in the cold than washing dishes to that song. “Nothing Compares 2U is just one of those songs you have to be able to fully enjoy when you’re listening to it. You don’t want to hear it as background music while the sink runs in the foreground and you can just barely make out the words, thereby releasing any emotional weight the song might carry. So, I think I did the right thing by stopping it there. It would’ve gone well though if this was a sad Valentine’s Day, but to be honest, it just felt like a regular day to me. Maybe that’s because I didn’t get out much or I didn’t watch too much TV and missed the onslaught of Kay Jewelers commercials, but that was just fine with me. Valentine’s Day? Whatever.


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