Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave


Posted by evankessler on January 8, 2007


Monty Python’s Flying Circus?”


“A Bird?”

… Not quite.

“A Plane?”

Wrong Again.


Not quite, mostly because I’m not a braggart.

“Your last day of work recap?”

… well kind of

“More iPodyssey?”

…yeah I suppose.

“The Worst Karaoke Bar ever?”

…sure, why not

“An impromptu Ramapo High School reunion?”

…Well that is one element.

“Well then what is it?”


Truth be told I began to write a post on Saturday afternoon encompassing the last day of work and the iPodyssey and events of that evening. It was originally supposed to be titled “Everyday When I Wake Up I Thank The Lord I’m Welsh”, after a line in a Catatonia song I had listened to that day. It was more or less an excuse to lead off with a photo of everyone’s favorite Welshman, Tom Jones, because let’s face it, when is a photo of Tom Jones not funny? Here, look below and you’ll see what I mean:

Okay, If you can take your focus off of the crotch of Tom Jones for a moment (ladies, I know it must be hard, no pun intended), then I can get to my weekend recap.

I woke up on Friday morning, my last day at my current job, feeling lighter. I don’t think I’d lost any weight over the previous 24 hours but not having the stress that employment sometimes brings seemed to bring about a certain breeziness to my mood. When I left for the office on 36th St between 7th and 8th, you might even say I was chipper as I began the Friday iPodyssey to the tune of Pearl Jam’s “In Hiding”, a song about cutting yourself off from the world for a bit and emerging enlightened. In a way it seemed like a compliment to my situation as I would be cutting myself off from the working world for a little bit (though hopefully not too long). This was followed by Supergrass’s “In It For The Money” which has nothing to do with my situation since if I wanted to do something for the “Money” it would certainly not be what I have been doing for my career. Radiohead’s “In Limbo” followed that, and that more accurately describes my professional life, but I was taking it all in stride as I rolled up to work and began my final day in the employ of “AMC”.

In all truth, the day seemed to move pretty fast as I had plenty to do. There were photos to be downloaded, tapes to be logged, emails to be sent as I passed the AP baton to my successor. My editors were requesting more and more things as the day carried on and I tried to fulfill their demands as best I could within my alotted time remaining. Some would ultimately have to wait until Monday, when I was no longer a part of the team and I was okay with that because I’m only one man. The only real notable event of my last day was when I went to Cosi for lunch and was almost sure that I was due a free salad, only to be told that the 12th one is free and not the 11th. That’s the thing about having swipe cards and not punch cards, you don’t have the info in front of you so they can totally make shit up and scam you. So, if I ever go back to work near a Cosi, I’m getting my free stuff and boycotting. Sure they have delicious bread but it’s way too expensive to be continually scammed like that.

The rest of the day carried on, business as usual and I burned through only 37 “I” songs, even though it felt like more. When all was said and done, it was around 7:05 when I finally left the office. I walked around and said my goodbyes to anyone who was still in the office at that time on a friday and headed out the door to the tune of Nellie McKay’s “Inner Peace”. There was no hoopla about my departure as I chose not to make one and I merely headed over to my brother’s apartment and went out with him for a nice Mexican dinner at Festival on Rivington (I think).

When dinner ended I dutifully migrated Brooklyn way in order to relieve myself of my backpack and shower before heading back to Manhattan to the night. Yes, I know it’s moronic but I just felt better not having my bag with me if I was going out for the drink and because my computer was in said bag.

I arrived back at my apartment at around 9pm as Sean Lennon’s “Into The Sun” put a cap on my iPod adventure for my last day of work. All told I had burned through 53 songs including many “In” songs, 2 “Interlude(s)” and one “Instrumental”, not to mention 3 out of 4 of the ones that began with “Into”.

While, my iPodyssey was temporarily halted, that didn’t mean the musical portion of the day was done. After showering up, I headed to Tracy J’s Watering Hole on 19th Street for Mike B’s Birthday. I probably arrived close to 10:45 pm to the sounds of Mike belting out “Highway To Hell” with much bravado. I was not aware that this was a karaoke bar and I immediately thought, “It’s on”. There seemed to be a nice turnout of familiar faces. Starling, Anna, Jess S, Carrie, and several other folks that I recognized from Starling’s chocolate party a month before were all on hand. I immediately put in for a couple of songs to the karaoke host and patiently
waited my turn to sing. Jess put in a song on which we could duet together.

Mike B. belts out the hits.

Perhaps it was Anna who alerted me to the fact, but I’m not sure, that the Karaoke host was singing every other song. She was under the delusion that people came out to this karaoke bar to see her sing Salt ‘n’ Pepa, Beyonce, or Jackson 5 songs. I think it was a completely foreign concept to her that people might actually want to sing their own songs. She’d let two people sing, and then she’d sing two songs in a row to “really get the party going”. It was utterly retarded. To add insult to injury, she was not playing the songs in order. Instead, she was taking bribes from anyone and letting people skip over everyone. She was obnoxious and awful and it was the worst karaoke experience I had ever had. The only justice was that Mike, the birthday boy did some spectacular numbers that brought the house down. That’s always nice to see. However, I was completely incensed at this idiotic system and this horrible host who felt it necessary to repeatedly name drop Dane Cook for some reason. However, there were positives to the evening. I got to hang out with my friends who had not seen in awhile, though we were aching to belt some tunes, I did take solace in their company.

Would Be Duet Partner Jess S.

I think I left the bar some time before 2am since that’s when the Karaoke (apparently the Japanese word for annoying host depending on the dialect) Night was supposed to end. Right before leaving Carrie invited me to her birthday party at Le Souk in the East Village the following night and as luck would have it, I didn’t have plans.

When I woke up Saturday morning I was completely aware of the lovely weather outside. The temperature in Brooklyn was rising to 70 degrees as I sat in my room and figured out how I could upload documents from my original, more basic version of this website. Some of you may remember it. Just the other night Jess S. was telling me how much she missed it, so I decided I would begin my mission to at least archive the old post on this blog. However, I did run into a few issues that required phone calls to godaddy.com customer support. Luckily after awhile it all got ironed out.

At around 2:30pm I left my apartment to the tune of Sean Lennon’s “Into The Sun” (very apropos) to meet up with Laura R, Laura B, and Andrew Morton for some Prospect Park appreciation. On the way to the park I walked by a Greenpeace representative handing out materials on global warming. I was amused by the fact that he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and seemingly enjoying the weather while trying to warn against the environmental dangers no less. Also, Brooklyn isn’t exactly the best place to be drumming up support for Greenpeace. In fact, I think Greenpeace should concentrate their efforts on the Red States. I’m not driving a car, I take public transportation, and I certainly do not pollute with frequency. A large majority of the people in the Park Slope neighborhood are environmentally and politically conscious so activism aiming at environmental protection seems like moot point in our region, but I digress. When I finally arrived at Prospect Park the Lauras and Andrew were finishing up their time sitting on the grass and were ready for the walking portion of afternoon. I have to say, I had a grand time as we wandered down the paths, many laughs were had. We decided that when the Spring comes we will make up a new game simply called, “ball”. The rules have not been ironed out yet but we know it requires a non descript round ball colored of an unusual hue. Also, the name of the game shall only be spoken in a plain, never excited manner. Here’s an example:


Note: The size of the font denotes excitement in one’s voice.

After our ball discussion, we made our way to the highest point (or at least I think the highest point) in Prospect Park. It was kind of grassy and woodsy but the view of Brooklyn was not exceedingly beautiful. However, there were a lot of nature props for us to pose in. We posed for a lot of hilarious pictures that I’m hoping to have by tomorrow of us posing unnaturally on felled trees and in a field of all grass. Looking at the field of tall grass, I stated that it reminded me of the field in the Temple of The Dog “Hunger Strike” video in which Eddie Vedder croons in.

In accordance, with that statement we did our own imitation and while I don not have the photo as of now, I hope that in the next few days I can share these photographic gems with you, the reader.

After our photo session we made our way out of the Park through the woods, getting lost several times but eventually coming to the exit near Grand Army Plaza. The plan was originally to have a BBQ at Laura R’s place but as I had not eaten all day and everyone else was hungry we went to Roma Pizza and got some slices. Afterwards, I headed home for a nap and to watch some playoff Football and as I walked into my apartment, Weezer’s “Island In The Sun” blared happily in my ears. I never ended up going back to the BBQ as I had a case of laziness.

Eventually I decided to make my way out to Le Souk in the East Village for Carrie’s birthday. I had brought my iPod with me because subway rides from Brooklyn can be boring when you’re by yourself. When I got to Le Souk it was to the tune of Magnetic Fields “It’s A Crime”. I was not sure if anyone else I knew would be there and even though I don’t know Carrie that well, I thought it would be a fun night. After about a minute conversing with the birthday girl and her friends I was accosted from behind by some familiar faces from my past. I turned around and saw fellow former Ramapo Gryphons Cara T and Ari A. Cara, I had seen in the past several months as she had gotten me a job interview at her company last summer, and Ari, I probably hadn’t seen in about 5 years. Long time, no see for someone I hung out with every day the summer after high school graduation. We worked at Mattherhorn Plant Nursery together and ended nearly every evening Senior Year at the Mont Ivy diner.

Remember The Mont…And The Alamo…But Don’t Forget The Mont

Cara and Ari. The View From Above

It was great to run into such familiar faces. All of the sudden, I had all but forgotten about Carrie’s party (I feel really bad about this) and taken up with some of my friends from the good ol’ days. Ari and Cara were joined by Adam H, Nick L, Brandon D, and Meredith B who was celebrating her birthday as well. This was one strange coincidence. It is quite the small world, though I suppose when you were born 30 miles outside of the city it’s not exactly a one in a million miracle.

Meredith The Birthday Girl

Fun Fact: In High School Adam’s Phone Number Spelled “I AM A BUM”

Carrie’s party moved on to greener pastures and I stayed behind to do some catching up. Ari and Brandon are engaged but not too each other, Cara is studying for her doctorate at Harvard (but I knew that), Adam H is a DJ, and I’m not exactly sure what Meredith or Nick L do but it was really too loud at a certain point to talk. I also made conversation with Cara’s friend Lauren and very minimal conversation with Meredith’s roommates who were cute but seemed more focus on getting into the VIP section than talking to anyone.

The bar was pretty much packed wall to wall all evening, which was slightly annoying but we found a good pocket to stand in which would last the majority of the night. When we grew tired of the club, Meredith, her roommates, Ari, Cara, and I went back to Meredith’s place a few blocks away. Cara and I vegged out, Ari fell asleep, Meredith went out again, and Meredith’s roommates were completely anti-social as they all went into the same room and locked the door with some weird dude who was over, though I’m pretty sure they weren’t fooling around but they were just talking really loud. After a bout a half hour of sitting around I decided it was time to head home.

After leaving Meredith’s apartment, I popped on my trusty iPod and went into the 2nd ave houston station only to be rebuffed by a sign telling me that there was no downtown service from that stop. The city should reimburse me for the cab fare I spent getting home that night. Getting a cab wasn’t that difficult but I would rather have arrived home in a more economical fashion seeing as I am currently out of work. I continued to listen to my iPod on the cab ride home as there was no drunken conversation to be had between myself and the cab driver. He was on the phone the whole time. My last two songs of the evening were Aimee Mann’s “It’s Not” and Aimee Mann’s “It’s Not Safe”. No real huge surprise there with the frequency that she’s been appearing lately.

This morning I woke up with the aim of doing nothing and that aim was accomplished. The most I did was go to the deli to get milk, and later go to the supermarket to get Turkey and Cheese for sandwiches, as well as a few odds and ends. After that I resumed my regular Sunday Football watching schedule as both the New York Jets and New York Giants were ousted from the NFL playoffs. I’m not that mad about the Giants losing. They didn’t really deserve to be in it in the first place. However, I am sad over the retirement of Tiki Barber, one of the best New York Giants to ever put on a uniform. I was surprised at how tight the game was but not one bit surprised at the final outcome.

Also, today I managed to complete my archiving project all the way back to January of 2006. So by all means, go back and read all of the great stories you might have missed in the annals of EvanKessler.com. If you don’t, you’ll probably be sorry. Alright, I think it’s time to call it a night. This post is hella long.


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