Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Do’s and Dont’s

Posted by evankessler on December 12, 2006

Monday morning came down, and I can’t say I was thrilled. I had precious little sleep due to a slew of nightmarish dreams, one involving a ghost. It is possible that my room is haunted but it’s more likely said apparition was a figment of my unconscious imagination.

I’d tell you more about it but if I dwell on it it’s more likely I’ll have a repeat of the previous night’s dream this evening and I do not wish that fate upon myself. So instead I’ll just move onto the Monday portion of the iPodyssey. Yes, that’s right…ignoring your problems makes them go away.

We may be ignoring problems but we’re certainly not ignoring achievements here at EvanKessler.com and today marked quite the achievement as we broke the record for biggest chunk taken out of the iPodyssey with a whopping 106 songs, begining with Pearl Jam’s “Daughter” at the outset of the morning trip to the subway. This particular section of the D’s was overwrought with streaks and types. We had 5 “Day” songs, 8 “dead” ones, 6 ones that were “dear” to us, but it didn’t stop there. We mustn’t forget the 5 “Deaths”, 3 “Devil’s”, 8 “Do”‘s and so far 11 “don’t” songs with plenty more where that came from. There were surprisingly few repeats numbering only one with “Debaser” by The Pixies. There was even a song that didn’t belong as Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” snuck into the wrong letter as it was marked as “Depeche Mode Personal Jesus”. That certainly puts a chink in the armor of this near perfect operation.
Furthermore, I noticed that most of the “Don’t” songs are not so surprisingly negative and depressing though I wouldn’t think all of them would have such a negative message despite the contraction they are adorned with. Even the “Do” songs, for that matter, struck me as downers. The Flying Burrito Brothers “Do You Know How It Feels?” struck me as quite cinematic as I solemnly shuffled down the Dean St. off of the Subway. The next song “Do You Realize” (Flaming Lips) struck me as a proper bookend to the previous track, whereas the prior one seemed to set a lonely scene at the beginning of a movie, the latter proper sealed a main character’s fate.

I arrived home to the the sounds of Tom Waits’ “Dog Door” and stood for a few minutes in my apartment debating the worth of heading to the gym. I figured that another several minutes out and about would go a long way towards furthering my musical quest. This took me into a wealth of “Don’t Songs” which I can’t say left me sufficiently excited to work out. It leaned towards “Don’t do this, you can just be lazy tonight”. However, I pressed on through the barrage of negative message songs.

I did have several epiphanies through the course of my elliptical workout. Ben Folds’ “Don’t Change Your Plans” reawakened questions about improving my life and my belief about how my tendency to always want to have “plans” is ruining my life. It seems I can never make a life altering decision because I always have something I don’t want to miss. For instance, I won’t go on vacation if there’s a football game on the weekend I want to go away. Each schedule point is a roadblock towards growing, whether pitchers and catchers are reporting a certain day, Jimmy’s having a birthday party, or someone is getting married and I put that over my own happiness and doing what I want. Anyway, enough about my psychosis. Music tends to make you think sometimes, you know?

I found equal stimulation in Rilo Kiley’s “Don’t Deconstruct” pretty much affirming what I was thinking during the previous song as Jenny Lewis sang:

judging from picture books apparently heaven is a partly cloudy place and if the sky opened up and they let you in and gave you a formal invitation would you go? you can work from home

These “don’t” songs can hit you in the heart if you’re not careful.

After I arrived home from the gym, the big dilemma was whether or not I was going to go watch Monday night football at the Lighthouse, which has been the custom this football season. I decided I would and went to my favorite local haunt only to see that my usual bartender was not there. I should have taken this as a sign to leave along with the additional sign that the show Two and A Half Men was on one of the TVs. Who wants to watch a sitcom (especially that one) at a bar? I decide to sit and have one beer, because it would be weird to just walk in and then walk out. Well, one beer turned into four and I ended up sitting next to a girl who was telling me entirely too much about her life, including that she was dating someone twice her age and that she lived with her ex-boyfriend who was jealous. I was not very attracted to her and was reasonably sure that she was not hitting on me, though I preferred not be sure because frankly, it’s been entirely too long and I don’t mind suspending my disbelief even when the attraction is not there. It’s a shite state of affairs and all the fresh air in the world will not make any fucking difference.

So I stayed entirely too long at the bar before leaving on cue when the bartender who was not the usual bartender and who was playing music instead of the game sound decided to put the band Creed on. Hearing Creed in Brooklyn in an unironic way is quite the rare event. I was not quite sure how to react. I liken it being on a plane that’s been hijacked. You think…”why me? why now? Why is this happening?” At least when you’re in a bar there’s an easy way out, though I hope someone came up with a “Let’s Roll”-esque solution to put an end to the subpar musical bonanza that was taking place. It was not a banner night for the Lighthouse and to top it off my fantasy football team lost. Woe is me. Luckily, tomorrow is another day.

Monday’s Favorites: “Dawn Can’t Decide” (The Lemonheads), “Dazed, Beautiful, and Bruised” (Catatonia), “Dead from The Waist Down” (Catatonia), “Dead Man” (Self), “Dear Employer (The Reason That I Quit)” (The Minus 5), “Deathly” (Aimee Mann), “Debaser” (The Pixies), “Debonair” (Afghan Whigs), “Debra” (Beck), “December” (Teenage Fanclub), “Deep Red Bells” (Neko Case), “Denise” (Fountains of Wayne), “Devil’s Right Hand” (Johnny Cash), “Dime A Dozen” (Tuscadero), “Dirty Frank” (Pearl Jam), “Disco 2000” (Pulp), “Discretion Grove” (Stephen Malkmus), “Dishes” (Pulp), “Disturbance at the Heron House” (R.E.M.), “Divine Intervention” (Matthew Sweet), “Divorce Song” (Liz Phair), “Don’t Believe The Hype” (Public Enemy)


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