Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Posted by evankessler on September 12, 2005

I love football. If I could, I would gay marry it. For now I’ll just settle for figuratively having sex with it every Sunday and Monday during the fall and winter until the first week in February. How do I love thee, let me count the ways. Well, I suppose I could count them later because I have a weekend to recap.

Friday was a foul temptress. I sat around most of the day accepting that fate had not chosen for me to go out that evening when I received a fateful phone call from Joe Dworkin. Joe, Eric Lieman and Suli were in town and going out in the West 50’s and I decided that I would join them. Join them I did at Bar 9 on W. 53rd and 9th, and it was a good time. We were also joined by Joe’s sister Eve, some of Eric’s friends Jessica, Nicole, Dara, and a guy who’s name I forgot from grad school. It’s always a good time when friends from the old neighborhood (Rockland County) get together. I also ran into John (Rub You The Right Way) Gill from the VH1 days and we chatted for a bit after everyone else left.

The next day was extremely lazy. I sat at home trying to write the script I was asked to put together but I was completely distracted by Madden ’06 and the Notre Dame-Michigan Game. At around 9pm I got a call from Joe for the 2nd straight evening and I met up with him, Eric, Nicole, and Jessica just like the previous night. We went to 2nd on 2nd for Joe’s friend’s brother’s birthday party. I left after an hour and a half but not before having a couple of drinks and enjoying some stellar and not so stellar karaoke performances. I didn’t do any songs because I originally only planned to stay for a half hour. I had other places to be. That being said it was a good time. Next, I made my way to Jina, Jenny, and Jaime’s 40 oz. Party down on Pitt St. on the lower east side. It was a laid back affair. Amongst the other folks making an appearance were Morwin, Dmitry, Nina, Steve Miller, Marty, and some people I’m forgetting to name. I brought 2 40’s with me and got through the High Life and most of the Colt 45. Though, I have to say, I should’ve been more drunk than I was. I suppose it’s a good thing that I wasn’t though. Being messy is bad when you’re a long walk from home. I headed out around 4am. I was eager to go to sleep so I could wake up and have it be football time. Hooray football time.

The clock struck 10:10am this morning and my eyes opened. I knew there would be no more sleep for me. The first full day of the football season was upon me and I needed to feed my appetite for pregame news and game subplots. I went out to buy a New York Post so I could get my fill of articles on the New York Giants and after I had devoured those I went right for the ESPN Gameday and feasted on that from 11 to 1pm. I wanted to watch the pre game shows on the networks but they had the 9/11 ceremonies until just before the Jets game. According to my calendar, 9/11 is listed as Grandparents’ Day and makes me thing that maybe Grandparents’ should get a new holiday because people will certainly no longer be celebrating them on September 11th. Any suggestions? Or maybe we would just make it a new day each year because Grandparents are too old and senile to remember what day it is anyway. That being said something needs to be done.

Back to football, The first round of games on TV were the Jets vs the Chiefs and the Panthers vs. the New Orleans Saints. We’ll skip the Jets game because the Jets probably played some of the worst football I’ve ever seen, but in regards to the Saints game, how could I be so stupid as to not pick the Saints to win in my office pool? I mean of course they were going to win. The announcers wouldn’t shut up about how emotional of a game it was and I just knew it was going to be the feel good story of the weekend. A team without a city wins for the city. It’s perfect. Maybe they’ll win the Super Bowl and it’ll end up as a major motion picture called “Saints Without A Home” and Jamie Foxx will play Saints Wide Receiver Joe Horn and win another Oscar. As for my office pool, you may be thinking, how can you be part of an office pool and not actually have a job? Well, thanks to Deb Miran, I’ve been allowed me to partake in the fun. Another note on pre- game festivities, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey’s version of America the Beautiful was completely horrendous. It was like they were trying to out sing each other and it made for an atrocious rendition.

As the slate of early games drew to a close my intensity level rose as I anticipated the kickoff of the New York Football Giants 2005 season. Soon after the Giants 1st drive culminated in a Jeremy Shockey touchdown I was proclaiming that I wanted to gay marry Giants rookie RB Brandon Jacobs or pick him up for my meaningless yahoo fantasy team. That love would soon fade to nervousness as the Giants lead turned to a 13-7 halftime deficit. Early in the 2nd half the Giants scored 2 quick touchdowns and the Giants did not look back coasting to a 42-19 win. I love football. I love the Giants. The saga continues next Monday as the Giants take on the emotionally upstart New Orleans Saints at Giants Stadium and I will be there. God Bless America and mostly God Bless Football.


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