Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Money for Nothing

Posted by evankessler on August 4, 2005


48 hours ago I was $180 dollars down in Atlantic City. Today I find myself in a slightly better financial situaion but not a drastically improved one. Monday afternoon at 4pm Steve Miller and I jumped on a Greyhound bus to Atlantic City for a little spontaneous gambling action by the boardwalk. I’m not a big fan of taking the bus and I discover why this is every time I do. Now, I’m not a germophobe or anything like that but there’s something disconcerting about having the woman in the seat in front of you hacking up her lungs for the majority of a ride. You start to wonder what disease we’ll all be diagnosed with as soon as we get to our destination. Perhaps, I should get tested for Tuberculosis tomorrow.

The bus rolled into the Sands Casino in Atlantic City at around 6:30pm. It seemed like as good a time as any for our meeting with lady luck. Due to my June experience in Vegas I expected nothing less than she should be greeting me with open arms as soon as I sat down at whatever table I chose. Several hours and many hands of blackjack later I was down $100. I wasn’t sure how Steve was doing but I think he lost at the Sands too. At around 11 something we decided to grab a Philly Cheesesteak on the boardwalk. I thought it would be almost as good as the one’s in Philly since we were in close enough proximity to the Cheese Steaks place of origin. This wasn’t exactly true. It was good but they didn’t make it with Cheez Whiz, which is the real way. I like Wogie’s in the West Village better.

After our culinary excursion, we headed back to the Sands to finish off our complimentary $22 for playing the slots before heading to another Casino. I have to say I’m not a proponent of the new fangled slot machinee. Instead of pouring out coins if you win, you get a printed out voucher. As if the population of grandparents occupying the majority of slot machines wasn’t enough to deter me from playing, the absence of the whole romantic notion of hitting the jackpot and being showered with tons of coins did the trick. Anyway, we came away from the slots with a couple of bucks in vouchers, cashed in our chips and headed to Bally’s in hopes of having better luck.

Bally’s was about three times bigger than The Sands and had multiple themed Casinos. They blasted horrible catchy pop music designed to make people continue to lose their money but enjoy every second of it. Some of the songs sounded oddly at home in the casino. Whoever selected the music to subliminally influence the gamblers was somewhat of a genius. In between songs by Matchbox 20 and the horrible new Jessica Simpson cover of “These Boots Were Made For Walking” they slyly slid in Rod Stewart’s “Some Guys Have All The Luck” and Lisa Loeb’s “Stay”. I was expecting Tom Petty’s “Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes” to come on. Anyway, only an hour or two at Bally’s my deficit had increased sufficiently to the tune of $280. I went over to Steve who was raking in the dough at another table. I was secretly hoping he was ready to go because I didn’t think it was wise for me to keep gambling seeing as luck wasn’t exactly working in my favor. I think I was even working as a cooler since the second I showed up at Steve’s table he started losing. I told him I would walk away for 5 minutes and we’d see how he was doing then. It was only a matter of seconds before I decided to throw caution into the wind like a complete moron and take out another $100 and try to make a dent towards earning back what I had lost. Two hours later I had decreased my debt by about $100 and felt good. Slowly but surely I was gambling my way out of the red. Seven or eight hours later I was done gambling, it was 10am on Tuesday and I was up $20 after about 15 hours of Blackjack with maybe 45 minutes of downtime we really had to get the hell out of dodge or rather, Atlantic City. If we didn’t, I’d have almost surely missed my UCB theatre class at 7pm due to a gambling addiction.

I finally made it back to my apartment at 2pm and needed a nap as I had obviously not slept the night before. I woke up at 5:45pm had some dinner and then headed to class. We finally met our teacher this week as we had a substitute last week. It was another fun evening at class if a tad different. In place of the sounds and action exercises we actually did some improvised scene work. Some scenes were three lines and some scenes at a bus station, as well as some roommate scenes and other assorted situations. It was really interesting to see some of the stuff people came up with. However, it was somewhat intimidating because some of the people are exceptionally talented and quick thinking. You realize in the middle of a scene just how hard it is to be on your feet when you have no idea what’s going on. Hopefully, I’ll get better. I don’t have any misconceptions about my abilities so far. After class we went out for a beer at the Blarney Stone on 30th and 8th. It was nice to actually try to get to know some people better though it was rather brief. I left after one drink to meet up for Adam Starling’s birthday.

When I arrived at Adam’s birthday at ICU on Washington St. mostly everyone was gone except for Zoran, Emily, Stacey Angeles, Mike Haigh, Anna Mikelson, Kim Rowe, Dustin Millman, Joe Saunders and his sister Cori who was visiting from Colorado. I had one drink at ICU and then the majority of us headed over to the White Horse Tavern for a beer. Most people left directly after, but Kim, Joe, Cori, and myself went to a bar on 14th and 1st for a couple of drinks. I got home at 3:20am.

As a result of my late night last night I wasn’t feeling too good today. I couldn’t sleep in my bed, so I was passed out on the couch between 8:30am and Noon. The rest of my day was spent moping around feeling completely hazy. However, I did pencil in some time to go see The Aristocrats at the Union Square theatre. The movie is basically about the dirtiest joke ever told and features about 30 comedians telling their version of it. I think my favorite part was probably Sarah Silverman’s version though there were plenty of other funny moments. I don’t want to ruin it. Not that there’s really anything to be ruined it’s just basically a movie about one joke and how everyone tells it. It’s good for plenty of laughs but if you’re at all squeamish about graphic sexual language about incests, beastiality and other completely taboo sexual endeavors you may not enjoy it so much. I wouldn’t tell my mom to go see it, though I’m sure some people I wouldn’t expect to like it would.

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