Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Unemployment Rules Ass!!!

Posted by evankessler on June 8, 2005

The title says it all. So far, being unemployed is totally sweet. Last week Vegas, this week so far has just been pure joy and productivity. I came to the realization yesterday that Mondays will cease to suck if I continue to be unemployed as Mondays will be no different from Saturdays or Wednesday. Every day becomes just a day with equal possibility as the previous. This is great stuff. I need to become independently wealthy or dependently wealthy so that all my remaining days are perfect just as these past few have been. I’ve really never been happier.

Yesterday, provided a promising start to this week in not working. After the plumber came to fix the leak that caused the hole in our ceiling (see below) we had to remove the shower door as it was instrumental in causing the leak. So my first task was to get a new rod and shower curtain. Before that could occur, I met my stepdad for lunch at Cosi on 23rd street between 5th and 6th Ave. Irwin quizzed me on my efforts to conquer the job market as well as my embracement of unemployment. The conversation was quite agreeable and harmonious. It was not filled with any pressure that is usually a symptom of such parental conversations, which made me feel wonderful.

The ceiling never stood a chance

Afterwards, I moseyed down to the Bed, Bath, and Beyond for my rod and shower curtain. As I turned the corner at the back of the superstore in search of the items on my mental shopping list I came upon a definite winner in the Shower Barrier Sweepstakes, as I was staring down a curtain adorned with images of rubber duckies. I immediately accepted it as the trophy for that particular shopping excursion. From this moment on, the residents of 271 would be greeted happily by rubber duckies every time they wanted to cleanse themselves of the toxins from the world outside the apartment, and some from inside. I immediately rushed home and installed my new shower curtain and laughed in delight.

That may seem like enough for one unemployed day but I wasn’t done just yet. I went down to the Salvation Army store and dropped off some clothes I don’t need anymore because I’m trying to keep up the appearance of being a thoughtful person. Right after I went to get my laundry and go to the post office, and then the rains came. Shortly after coming in from my errands, dark clouds filled the sky making it look as dark as night in the late afternoon. Soon there were pools of water gathering on the ground and water pouring down in sheets for all of 15 minutes. It was frightening. I was worried I might not be able to go outside and do more wonderfully necessary daytime activities. When the rain cleared I was able to go to the gym and the gods (I’m not exactly sure which ones, maybe Dionysus, Poseidon, and Aphrodite but not Aries or Hera) smiled down upon me.

After the gym, I had to get ready for my big Monday night out. That’s right, my big Monday night out. Due to my lack of work, I could go to Ahmad Saeed’s weekly DJ gig at Bembe in Brooklyn that I had been neglecting for so long. Oh Monday, I’m sorry I said all of these bad things about you for so long. Anyway, I got to Bembe around 9:45 probably, maybe 10pm just as Ahmad was loading in his DJ equipment. Lauren H and her brother were there. I also met the bartender Jess who seemed really cool. We talked about Cibo Matto for a little bit. Overall it was a lot of fun with a lot of fun people. Kayvalyn, Andrea, Jason, John K, Zerna, Rich Mai, Steve, Kishore, Valerie, and others that I’m sure I’m leaving out. When it was time to leave I thought I’d take the L but everyone said that the L trains weren’t running after midnight. Foiled again. Drats! Valerie and I ended up walking to the JMZ and I switched at Delancey and made it home at least after 3am. What a Monday!

Today was just as, if not more full on the activity meter. After Saturday night’s party at Knoah’s place, Marisa P and I agreed that we would get pizza today since we were both unemployed. Marisa called me at 11:30 and came by around 12:15pm. We then were off to Joe’s pizza for a couple of slices and onto more adventure. Our first stop was the chess shops on Thompson St. where Marisa bought Backgammon sets for herself and a friend. These chess shops seem to be their own little world. I kept wondering how much business these places must get each day. I can’t imagine they do that well. However, one of the shops hosted Chess tables where players could get together and play for $1.50 an hour I think. It’s a little chess society unto itself. Marisa and I then wandered over to a T-shirt shop on McDougal in the hopes of making our own original T-shirts but we decided that we’d check out an East Village T shirt shop before we committed to this one.

On our way over to the East Village we stopped at Bess Sobota’s place of work in Cooper Square and watched funny short films on the interwebnet. Life is hard. We hung around there for awhile and then made our way to a t-shirt shop where we each bought something. Marisa had several Moose(s)(pl. ?) ironed onto her shirt and I got an iron on of “The Oregon Trail” onto an orange shirt because it’s one of my fake band names. You’ll all be seeing this one in the rotation pretty soon. Next, Marisa wanted to go to the public pool near her apartment but I’m a little suspect of public pools so I gently steered us away to get some drinks Yuca Lounge on 7th St and avenue A. Once there, I had Sangria and learned how to play backgammon. That’s really the topper on the day, I learned a new skill. You can’t underestimate the importance of learning new skills. We basically played Backgammon at Yuca until 7:30. A friend of Marisa’s joined us for the 2nd game. So far so good on the day, but it ain’t over yet.

When I was playing backgammon I got a call from my friend Jessica Rash who was instrumental in encouraging me to make the trek to Costa Rica by myself. She was meeting some friends at Wogie’s for some cheesesteaks and beer and she was going to give me her Costa Rica itinerary and information from when she went. I walked all the way from 7th and A back to the west village inside of 20 minutes and met Jessica and her friends at Wogie’s. As I was waiting I recognized my friend Tracey P, who I haven’t seen since we saw A Beautiful Mind together, sitting at Wogie’s with a guy but seemingly having an important conversation. I didn’t want to interrupt them so I sat down tith Jess and her friends Marcy, Andrea and Justin and had some beers. I then walked over to Tracey and said hi. It was really good to see her. I really like her and think she’s a lot of fun. It’s a shame we’ve been out of touch for as long as we have. Though I’m really glad I ran into her. Anyway, I had a really great time at Wogie’s and the CheeseSteaks there are stupendous. It was all worth it. Afterwards, we went back to Jess’s fancy new digs and had a beer.

Unemployment is superb.


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