Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Archive for April, 2005

Out of Routine

Posted by evankessler on April 28, 2005

First of all I wanted to say that the South Park where they discover that Earth is actually one big intergalactic reality show is one of the funniest South Park episodes of all time and has one of my favorite characters of all time. What’s not funny about a Giant Taco that poops ice cream? Every time the ice cream comes out I laugh and laugh. Also the idea that all of the different nationalities and species on earth are actually from other planets and were put together on the same planet so that zany hijinx like wars and famine and love and happiness could ensue solely for the entertainment of the universe is a genius concept.

Okay, enough about that South Park, I really didn’t have much to write about though it has been a non-routine last two days seeing as I usually just go to the gym after work. Yesterday after work I went out with Jaime W for dinner. I hadn’t seen Jaime since probably November when she came back from England for her friend Shohini’s wedding. I think she’d been living in England since August or September and now she’s finally back and I’m glad. I really had an enjoyable time catching up with Jaime. She’s one of my favorite people to talk to, in general and having an 6 month gap with of not talking and exchanging 2 emails at the most definitely leaves something to be desired. I completely regret not taking time off from work to visit her over there. If there’s one thing I could’ve used it’s a vacation. I really need a vacation this summer, I’m either going to go to Italy, Czech Republic, Iceland, Vegas, LA, or somewhere else completely unforeseen. In my ideal situation I’d go to Italy, in August just before my friend Jack’s wedding and get a certain person I know there (hint) to go on an adventure with me to the Czech Republic. That’s not something I’m counting on though seeing as I think I need to take a vacation way before August because that is a long way off and I need a major break from the routine sooner rather than later. So I might just go to one of the aforementioned places sometime in the next few months. Wow, what a solid plan. Anyone want to take a trip with me soon? Email me. It could be a long drive or flight or boat cruise, I just need some kind of excursion.

Sorry for that “get me out of here now” tangent. It’s just been awhile since I’ve been anywhere, save for New Orleans 2 winters ago. Today was one of those days that made me realize just how long it’s been though. I was at work til 7:45 and decided again to break the usual routine of going to the gym because it was too late, or at least that’s what I wanted my excuse to myself to be. Not that I should need to give myself excuses. Anyway, I just decided to walk around a bit in my neighborhood. I stopped off and got the new Ben Folds album at Tower and got some Pita at the Pita Pit. I’ve already massively failed the kosher for Passover test so why fight it? Leavened bread it is! I didn’t totally violate my Wednesday routine though, I made it home in time for South Park and the daily show and here I am blogging away. I wasn’t even going to blog today. I was just going to leave it be til tomorrow. I think I’m addicted to keeping my three readers updated about the mundane details of my life. Well, I’d like to thank those three people for remaining interested because I’m almost up to 3000 hits, but no merchandise sold. Hip Hip Hooray!!! Viva Capatalism and my American dream!!!

Advertisements

Posted in South Park | Leave a Comment »

The Fruits of My Seder

Posted by evankessler on April 24, 2005

Get it. It’s like a take on the phrase the fruits of my labor by I replaced the word labor with Seder because it’s Passover. I guess I shouldn’t have to explain everything like that. Anyway, it was generally a fruitless weekend. Friday night I just plain didn’t feel like going out. I was feeling full from the previous nights culinary adventure and therefore unmotivated. Besides that, many of my friends had already headed home for their Passover Seders at home. I decided that I would leave the next morning on the train from Hoboken.

This weekend last year I was getting excited to go to the NFL draft with Arby at Madison Square Garden and this year I would miss the excitement of watching TV for 7 hours waiting to see each team draft a player out of college every 15 minutes starting at noon on Saturday. That was fine by me, since the Giants only had 4 picks this year spread out over 2 days. Although, my curiosity got the better of me several times during my time in Rockland and I had to run over to the TV to check if the Giants had picked yet during our Jewish tradition. I think I could’ve phrased that last line better. Anyway, it was an interesting get together. Our guests included Rhona and Stuart Wolk who we basically do every holiday with, although their kids were absent seeing as they were all with their significant others’ families. Rhona’s Brother, Jack, came with his family, (Wife – Camile, Son- Mark, Daughter-Nerissa) who are also at all most of our major family holidays as well. Jack also bought his mother and father in law which was different. It’s strange having someone else’s extended family at your seder, not that it bothered me it was just strange. My mother also invited her friend Janelle and her fiancée Mike. I’m not quite sure how my mom knows Mike and Janelle seeing as they are all of 27 years old. I think the story goes something along the lines of she taught in my mom’s school before she decided she didn’t want to be a teacher anymore. I guess I forgot to mention my brother was there to. Fine, you’re caught up on the attendees of my Seder. How exciting for you.

Normally we only get halfway through the Seder, eat our meal and never get back to it. My mom was determined the full way on this one. We all read our parts through the Haggadah, with my mom making sure she sang all of the songs. We got to the meal rather quickly but we didn’t skip anything I don’t think. The meal was delicious with Matzo balls soup, brisket, turkey, vegetables, some sweet potato apple thing, bitter herbs, charoset, and more food than I can remember. We always have good meals due to the fact that Rhona, my mom, Irwin and Camille are pretty excellent cooks. Actually Camille’s mom made a very spicy Broccoli Rabe, which I rather enjoyed. Here’s where I would put a picture of the food if I had taken any.

After the meal we left the Seder table for some relaxing conversation of which I really had nothing to contribute. Greg was talking about models and Stuart and Irwin were talking about real estate. I went upstairs into my room because I had a feeling that there was something I needed to bring back. Though I didn’t come across what I needed to bring back I did come across a picture of the time in 6th grade when I went with my GATE (Gifted And Talented Education) group to meet the President George Bush (the first one) and Mikhail Gorbachev in New York. It was really wonderful and they didn’t mind that we were jumping all over them. They were really pretty nice guys for a bunch of power hungry world leaders.

GLASNOST: Even though President Bush got a little testy about people hanging
over him he was a good sport and Gorbachev, forget about it, that guy loved us.

I also came across my 1st grade class picture. Good stuff. It reflected a simpler time before all of the previously mentioned human rights violations took place in that class. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, do a search for the word “violation” or “Haitians” or “rug” on this page.

I was a total babe magnet in the 1st grade, Can you guess which one is me?
Oh, and by the way three of these people are my friendsters.

Anyway, I just wanted an excuse to put those pictures up. After discovering the pictures in my room I went back down for the dessert portion of the Seder. And this is the part that really gets me. My mom wants us to finish the tradition of the Seder, which we never do but in finishing that tradition she shows no regard for the tradition. What do I mean? Well, the last part of the Seder calls for two more cups of wine. Seeing as we were at dessert though my mom, who made such a big deal about keeping with tradition, suggests that we just substitute the cups of wine with cups of coffee. (Just like the coffee we had in the desert when we were escaping Egypt) This is coming from the same person who insists we go to temple for Yom Kippur, but then rushes out to leave after an hour. Religion at your convenience is hardly religious. That’s not to say I’m arguing, I’m just pointing out the hypocrisy on display. In keeping with tradition I poured whoever wanted some more wine to partake in the tradition. That’s not to say I’m a traditionalist, but if we’re going to pretend to be, let’s not do half assed pretending. So we ate a dessert that consisted of Macaroons, fruit, and a really great chocolate cake my mom made without flour that is kosher for Passover.
Overall it was a long, and pretty decent meal. It was fun despite the abnormal wealth of unfamiliar faces. Though I wouldn’t necessarily consider 4 people a wealth of people. Afterwards, Greg showed everyone the pictures he took from the wedding of Rhona and Stuart’s son Jon that we attended several weeks ago (see 3/27/05 blog). Everyone stood around the couch looking at a slide show on Greg’s computer. Everyone was staring like it was the first time they’d seen moving pictures, even though they weren’t moving. It was a funny sight though, everyone gathered around Greg’s computer as if it were Prometheus introducing fire. When the slideshow ended, we said our goodbyes and Janelle and Mike gave us a lift into the city in the pouring rain, which was extremely nice of them.

This morning I woke up with no agenda and it was a little cool outside so I didn’t really look to have a plan. I did some spring- cleaning since my previous efforts at doing so had been undone so quickly. I suspect I will have to give my room another once over in the tidying up department in another week or two because we hope to have a spring barbecue sometime soon. I also went to the Pita Pit today, which just opened this weekend around the corner from me. It was one of my favorite places to get food back in Syracuse and now it’s in my very own neighborhood next to the new independent movie theater which I’m also extremely excited about. Tonight, I don’t have much else planned except I have to watch 24 before the new episode tonight. I was going to put an entry tonight with that recap but perhaps its too late for that seeing as it aired last week. I’ll just update you on all of the 24 happenings tomorrow night, as if you care. Okay, I think that’s enough. I hope you had a good weekend. I can’t believe I was actually able to write this much about mine.

Posted in Rockland County | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Dinosaur Delight

Posted by evankessler on April 22, 2005

Well it’s been a relatively sober night after last night faux smokefest. That doesn’t mean it’s been unfulfilling. In fact, unfulfilling is the antithesis of how’d I’d describe the events of this evening. After failing to make the trip to Dinosaur Barbecue last week my Brother, Sean Maddison, Joe McCarthy (not the Senator) and myself trekked up to 131st in 12th to partake in meaty madness or rapacious rib eating, which ever you’d prefer. We met at the apartment at 7:30 and then high tailed it up town on the 9 train with our mouths watering. Honestly, I was a little hesitant as I had a weird headache and was slightly paranoid that I was going to have an aneurysm but that fear ultimately subsided when I got a beer in me.

We only had to wait about 20 minutes to be seated, which dwarfed the amount of time I’d previously had to wait at this fine culinary establishment. Our stomachs grumbled with anticipation as we scanned over the menu. When our friendly waiter came by we all ended up getting ribs. Sean and Joe got a full rack while Greg and myself stuck with 3/4 racks. For sides I got the Syracuse Salt potatoes and Iceberg lettuce with “Bar-b-que Blues Dressing”. I have to be honest. I miss the mashed potatoes and do not understand why they are not a menu item. They were the best menu item other than the ribs at the Syracuse restaurant. I guess it’s not exactly as good as the one in Syracuse but the ribs are wonderful and worth the trek uptown as is the rest of the food.

Greg apparently had two major announcements to make at the dinner table that ended up not being important at all. His first announcement was that a breakfast restaurant that we went to a lot that had been closed for a year and a half was still closed and I forget what the other announcement was. Joe, Sean’s friend from San Francisco, was telling a story about Dogs who were on death row who were given a second chance in a program that basically turned them into rescue dogs. However, the term Death Row Dogs sparked a really awesome idea. I’m not even sure I should be posting this online, but imagine a show about dogs on death row but voiced over by people. It would be like The Adventures of Milo and Otis meets Oz. Think about how great that could be. Imagine the prison fights.

After about 20 minutes we had all managed to clear off our plates save for Joe who was given a tongue lashing by our waiter for not being able to finish two ribs. We were all pretty full but Greg saw a dessert that piqued his interest and Sean decided to up the ante and get a second dessert that we all shared which put us in quite the food coma. Overall, the monetary damage of the dinosaur was not too steep and it was worth every penny. I love that place, though I would welcome a pilgrimage to our Barbecue Mecca in Syracuse.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

Pointless Update

Posted by evankessler on April 14, 2005

I have the hiccups. I’ve had them for about 20 minutes. I was debating not posting tonight since not much has changed since my last post. The only significant happenings were two full days of work, two trips to the gym and one hour of watching “Love, Actually” which may be the only movie I know of to feature 10 pointless subplots and little else, as far as I can tell. I only really watched it because Kiera Knightley is in it. Personally I think the producers just thought if they had Hugh Grant being romantic with someone it would constitute a romantic comedy regardless of the lack of a story. It was probably a huge box office smash so that shows you who knows best.

Here’s a fun equation for everyone:

Hugh Grant + Romantic Comedy = Box office gold = Arnold Schwarzenegger(1984 thru 1996) + Mindless violence

=

Ooh, and while I was busy not updating this website last night I was reading because reading is fundamental and it makes you smarter and stuff. I finished reading my 2nd book this month. I feel a real sense of accomplishment. On to the next book! I think I’m going to read Bob Dylan’s Chronicles Volume One.

Well despite the lack of activity in my life I do have things to look forward to, for instance, there’s a rumor going around of a possible Thursday evening excursion to the Dinosaur BBQ featuring myself, Greg Kessler, Sean Maddison, and whoever else wants to come. If that falls through, FREE DRINKS!!!! Sorry for the pointless post but I also needed another reason to plug my monthly poll and my guestbook. I’ll have more to say at a later date. LET’S GO METS. 3 IN A ROW!!!.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

I Need To Sleep, Why Won’t You Let Me?

Posted by evankessler on April 8, 2005

Let the record show that after last night’s post I couldn’t fall asleep for nearly 8 hours. I was up til 7:15 due to the fact that my radiator was making loud obnoxious noises every 2 minutes. It was a nightmare, or maybe it was the exact opposite seeing as I couldn’t fall asleep to have that nightmare. As a result I plodded through my day on 1 hour of sleep. Exhaustion was my buzzword. That being said, the nice weather continued from yesterday and my lunch walk was pleasant if a bit lonely.

Later in the day I learned that there are reasons I am not in finance. I went to chase bank to transfer funds from one account to another. This could not have been more difficult. People at the Chase bank were asking me financial questions I couldn’t fathom and using financial terms that were completely alien to my being. I goaded my helpers into dealing with me on what was the equivalent of a 3rd grade speaking level when dealing with my financial matters. I needed my hand to be held and to be given constant reassurance that I was doing the right thing. It was quite harrowing. I hate money. Perhaps I should live in a fantasyland where money holds little importance, or maybe I should just be very rich in order to quell any fears that transactions dealing with money matters don’t actually matter due to the absurdity of my wealth.

After work I was torn between more rest and going to see Rich Mai ,Jasky Raju, Ahmad and Abdullah Saeed, amongst others (whose full names I don’t know_ perform as part of the Cold Hands Collective at Galapagos in Brooklyn. Ultimately I chose to go to Brooklyn because weeks ago I said I would be there and I don’t like to go back on my word, though I don’t always bat 1.000 for every promise I make.
I left my apartment at around 8:45 and eventually ended up on the L train which I am renaming the Genocidal Hipster Cattle Car. Every single person on that train had that particular homogenized Williamsburg hipster look to them and we were all pressed up against each other eagerly awaiting the Bedford stop. Every stop prior, nobody got off, just more and more hipsters piled into the train.

I got to Galapagos at 9:20 and sort of stood around because I recognized nobody. Soon Rich came out and introduced me to some people. Soon enough I was surround by more people I knew, Joe D, Suli, Lauren H, Melissa G, Kayvalyn T and Jason S were just some of the folks that made their presence felt. I’m going to put up pictures of some of these people later but I’m too tired right now but I suppose some of the pictures will be below this paragraph.

Lauren and Suli are totally hanging out in this picture.
Definitive proof that Kayvalyn and I are not the same person.

Anyway, the band went on a little after 10. The music was exceptional. I’d describe it as hip-hop with a backing band, I know that’s not much of a description but I’m not good at describing hip- hop. Needless to say I think they did a good job. I took some cool pictures of the performance that just may make it onto the website eventually.

Oh Snap! Abdullah Saeed on the Mic for Cold Hands Collective

Lauren and I left shortly after performance was over. I said goodnight to Rich, Ahmad, Abdullah, and Jasky. Lauren and I took off back to Manhattan and here I am writing this blog for you folks. It all comes full circle. Crazy. Okay, I need sleep, goodnight.

Posted in Cold Hands Collective | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Beginning To See The Light

Posted by evankessler on April 7, 2005

Ladies and Gentleman, spring is upon us. It’s time to bask in the warm glow of the sun before the humidity sets in and you can’t wait to be near an air conditioner. We had a beautiful day here in the NYC. Temperatures got up to 69 degrees, the sun was shining and I didn’t have to wear a jacket. Is there anything better than short sleeve weather? I think not. I went for two walks today during work, one to ninth avenue for lunch and one to get ice cream around 4pm. I feel like a covered the basics of taking advantage of spring weather during the work day. The only thing I missed out on was having a drink at an outdoor café or something. I know what you’re thinking, “What the hell do you do at work all day that you have time for this?” Well the answer is, I actually had a pretty full day of work. I wasn’t in edit today but I did interview Mo Rocca for the 2nd time since last Tuesday and I was covering for my producer who was out of the office, so there was plenty to keep me busy. However, I wasn’t going to let the work day keep me from enjoying the nicest day of the year so far, I did what I could to take advantage of it. Besides, the rest of my day after work was pretty lacking.

When I got home I stared blankly at the computer screen for several minutes watching the computer play by play of the Mets vs. Reds since they’re not airing it on TV due to the Cablevision – Time Warner dispute and since I haven’t set up my AM radio antenna to actually listen to the game. They update the website about every 60 seconds and sometimes its not completely caught up to the came action and the screen will read 2 balls and 2 strikes for 3 minutes. It’s basically slow torture. After about 15 minutes and one half of an inning, I realized I had to get out of the house or I’d go insane. I took a walk to Tower Records and bought 3 albums. I’m addicted to buying CD’s. I haven’t even got through the other 3 or 4 CD’s I’ve bought in the last few weeks.

By the time I got back it was the 6th inning and the Mets were losing 5-3 but I was determined to ride out the rest of the game or at least sit there until I got way too bored to keep following the game this way. I made it all the way til the 8th inning but luckily a new episode of South Park came on at 10pm and I gravitated away from the computer and back towards the TV. Ironically, the South Park episode was basically about how boring baseball is.

So that’s my night in all of it’s excitement and glory. I haven’t gone out drinking since Friday. Weird, I think that’s some sort of record. I’m going to call Guinness and have them check.
Oh, just another thought. I was reading a news article today that the rapper C-Murder (real name Corey Miller) was changing his stage name to C Miller. The reason for this is that several months ago he was convicted for 2nd degree murder (how ironic) and said that his name was ruining his chances for a 2nd appeal. As if calling yourself C-Murder isn’t idiotic enough, it took him until after his conviction and the failure of his appeal to figure out that the name C-Murder doesn’t sound so good in court.

C-Murderer?

You’d think his lawyer might have recommended this name change beforehand. Changing his name now seems like a moot point. If I went to prison for murder (knock on wood) I think a name like C-Murder might keep me a little safer in the showers and prison yard more so than C Miller would. Just a thought I had. Okay, I’m done. Goodnight.

Posted in New York Mets, South Park, work | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

I’m Going To Be A Father

Posted by evankessler on April 1, 2005

I totally knocked some girl up last night and I don’t even know her name. I’m gonna be a dad. Just what my mom always wanted an illegitimate grandson/daughter.

Happy April Fools Day! Have fun playing pranks on people and having pranks played on you today. Don’t take anyone to seriously unless you get fired or something then you can react angrily and knock over a few chairs and after you’ve left a path of destruction you can just say “April Fools” and enjoy the rest of the day. Apparently April Fools Day is license to do anything under the ruse of “it was all just a big joke.” So enjoy that opportunity because it only comes once a year.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »