Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Complete Carnage and More Luck

Posted by evankessler on January 20, 2005


Another day, another dentist appointment, another dollar…or seven dollars to be exact. I’ll get to the seven dollars in a minute but first, TO THE DENTIST!!! What isn’t bad about getting your teeth gutted with an ice pick? (rhetorical) This was my third trip to the dentist in one month, give or take a few days. Let me tell you, my experiences have not been pleasant. I hadn’t been to the dentist in 3 years when I first went in December. It was that first appointment that determined that I needed to get a cavity filled on the 2nd appointment and furthermore, my teeth were to be “scaled” on two subsequent occasions. Today was the first of two scaling visits. For those of you not familiar with scaling (I count myself amongst you) it is basically a teeth cleaning times one thousand, in which an evil Russian woman digs into your mouth with one of those hooked picks and other pointy instruments and drains your body of about 2 pints of blood using your mouth as a conduit between your blood vessels and the sink. All of this is done whilst listening to Lite 106.7 FM. Your dental technician may or may not hum along to Enrique Iglesias’ “Hero” while performing this procedure. However I don’t believe that step is mandatory. Or at least that’s what the dental manual led me to believe. I don’t really know what this has to do with teeth but apparently jabbing a sharp instrument into gums for a half hour or so helps the process of keeping teeth clean and healthy. I’ll let you know as soon as I start to see the results. I’ve got one more appointment next week so it’ll have to wait.

Though it may not seem like it after that wonderful depiction of dental misfortune, I was lucky for the 2nd straight day. While I didn’t come up with another one hundred dollars, I did play one scratch off bingo game and won $7. When will this lucky streak end? I need to get to Atlantic City or Vegas before my good fortune runs out. Who’s coming with me?

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