Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

12/01/04 Guerrilla Interview Subject: Rob G

Posted by evankessler on December 2, 2004

A fairly intense Rob sings Karaoke through his microphone bracelet.

I met Rob G through a mutual friend at a showing of Dumb and Dumber in 1994 and for better or for worse we’ve been friends ever since. We even survived a year stint as Sophomore year roommates at Syracuse University. Rob currently does something for Sony Music and he’s also an illustrator. Rob was not notified prior to this interview. It was my intention to catch him off guard so I conducted it via instant messager. Did I? Not really but you be the judge. Oh yeah, and I haven’t done this in a long time so my interview skills were a bit rusty but what can you do? So without further ado, I bring you another installment of The EvanKessler.com Guerrilla Interview.

EK: Say something edgy and provocative.

When I’m at a fancy restaurant, I like to order quickly and to the point. If its an app I’m looking for – I always get some Shrimp Cock

EK: So, that’s it. You just shortened the word cocktail to be edgy. I’m looking to be provoked by your edginess

RG: hmm

EK: I’m waiting.

RG: our president is an arrogant cokehead?

EK: That’s not really that edgy. Half the country hates the president.

Pretend this is an audition…dazzle me!

RG: hmm

EK: this seems to be quite a task. You are extremely unprepared. What is the furthest thing from your mind right now?

RG: bunnies

EK: good, now what about bunnies?

RG: they are pink and furry

EK: Where do you find pink bunnies?

RG: at cvs during easter time

EK: Fair enough. Magical Fantasyland would have been an acceptable answer as well

RG: sure

EK: Who is your biggest influence and why?

RG: Bono.

RG: He’s saving the world and learning to speak spanish!

EK: one number at a time

RG: yeah, and skipping over those unimportant ones, like 4,5,6,etc

EK: That’s a good answer though. I thought you were going to say Dr. Phil

RG: I fucking hate Dr. Phil

EK: Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion of television people.
RG: Can we continue this exchange in a few minutes? I have a meeting.

RG: Should be back in 15

RG: Ok?
EK: sure

(30 Minutes later)

RG: Ok!

RG: I’m here!

RG: Lets go!

EK: The world does not stop and start at your convenience

RG: Ok!

RG: but lets go

EK: Ok, you’re on.

EK: If you could sleep with 3 celebrities who would you sleep with?

RG: I have a very awesome girlfriend, so I don’t want to sleep with any one else.

RG: But if you twist my arm…

RG: Kristen Kreuk

RG: uhm…

EK: You are so whipped.


EK: This isn’t a faith test, just a simple question.

RG: That girl from ‘the girl next door’

RG: and 24

and Old School

RG: I dont know her name

EK: Elisha Cuthbert.

RG: Yes!

RG: Indeed!

and finally…

EK: Stop padding the content with extra lines

RG: I’m just thinking dick.

EK: Well think in your mind, not on screen.

EK: Your honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile. “Permission granted.”

RG: Beyonce.

EK: Ouch!

EK: I thought you’d go for a hetero man crush with the third one.

RG: Yeah

RG: I was thinking of throwing in Triumph the insult dog

EK: Well you can always sleep with a puppet if you so desire.Would you say my interview skills are rusty?

RG: Yeah. They stink.

EK: Fair enough. How has evankessler.com changed your life?

RG: It’s made my days brighter, my nights darker and my coffee sweeter. It’s opened me up to a whole new world of visually bland, content driven bloggery

EK: Well, I take that as a compliment. Do superheroes look out for the common good by protecting the public from murderers and thieves, or do they just go after supercriminals with funny names and extra arms?

RG: Superheroes go after all criminals. Super powered or mortal.

EK: I wholeheartedly disagree. Thank you for participating in the http://www.evankessler.com guerrilla interview where the interviewee starts suspecting early on in the conversation that they are in fact being interviewed

RG: Haha, Thanks.

EK: You knew the whole time didn’t you.

RG: Also, my real idol is Chris Farley.

The Bono thing was just a joke.

EK: Whatever.

RG: I knew after the 2nd question. I’m not so quick.

Quick enough Rob, quick enough. Thank you for your time

Thank you evankessler.com



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