Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

Election 2004

Posted by evankessler on November 3, 2004

Current State of Electoral Affairs Bush: 247 Kerry: 210 WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!!! More on that later, let me catch you up to speed on my daily affairs.
I woke up this morning at 8:45am (11/02/04) with Vote or Die in my head so much that I was thinking about the P. Diddy spoof from South Park all day. (http://www.southparkstudios.com/down/guide.html?id=808&min=2)

I even walked around with a toy megaphone singing it in people’s offices. After my morning routine I headed to my polling place and placed my vote for John Kerry for US President. It’s was almost impossible to feel bad about John Kerry’s chances if you’re standing in line at a polling place in New York City. There are plenty of people wearing Kerry-Edwards buttons and just talking negatively about Bush. If only New York were a microcosm of the United States.

Most of the day at work people were walking around shouting Vote or Die at each other, and the mood was generally optimistic. I was sitting at work reading the New York Post reading Page Six and read that a Porn Director and Porn Star would be giving out Free porn for people who had proof of voting at the Virgin Megastore after 6:30 pm. This struck me as really weird seeing as a music store in Times Square is not exactly a strictly adult environment that would have a Porn Signing, I mean, broadway shows such as Aida and The Lion King are right in that area and there’s a huge Toys ‘R’ Us two blocks down. Conversely there’s more porn shops and strip clubs than you can count on 8th avenue so I guess they cancel each other out. Anyway, my interest was piqued and vowed to at least check out the scene, in part because there was a CD I wanted anyway, and hey free porn. Why not?

As I got to Virgin at around 6:30 I found the Ray LaMontagne CD that had been recommended by Rob Goodman, and went downstairs to check out the signing. The line wasn’t that long so I just thought, what the hell, this’ll be funny and hey, free porn. Luckily I still had my proof of voter registration on me. The line to meet apparently legendary director Seymour Butts and Porn Starlet Mari Possa (they get so creative with the names) was an eclectic mix of people. In front of me was a Hispanic woman in her mid 50’s and behind me was a mid 40’s African American guy that looked like he really wanted some porn. Behind were two teenaged Mexican kids who were later carded and kicked off of the line. There was also a healthy dose of banker looking guys who just got out of the JP Morgan office and guys with their girlfriends.
After about 20 minutes I finally got to the front of the line and was staring straight at Mari Possa (Spanish for Butterfly). She asked me my name, we shook hands and I asked her how long of a tour they had been doing this for. She said five days and she said she was exhausted. I have to say, she was really cute. I really had no idea what to say in this situation I mean what do you say to the star of “Jamaican Me Horny” but I think I did a pretty good job. The situation was beyond awkward, I hadn’t seen any of her movies or anything, I didn’t even know she existed prior to this moment but I guess any amount of small talk would do. She signed my free copy of her movie and I moved on to Seymour Butts (keep laughing, because I am) who asked me if I had voted today. I said yes and asked him a question, which I can’t remember because I really didn’t care about the answer. He also signed my DVD and I moved on.
It was sort of a stupid fun thing to do and I wish someone else was with me at the time and I sort of felt like a loser but do you have a copy of Jamaican Me Horny with signature that say, “Dear Evan, My Tushy is yours! Mari Possa” and “Evan, All My Best, Seymour Butts.” I didn’t think so. Pretty funny stuff.

Adult Film Star Mari Possa

Another thing that I noticed was the store display for the signing. There were all of these really hardcore porn films with really raunchy names and on the other side of the display there were animated holiday movies for kids. Quite the dichotomy one might say.

As I walked towards the subway down broadway, I ran into my friend Kim Gatewood from Syracuse who was doing a one person comedy show tonight and gave me a flyer. I told her I would go some other time because I wanted to watch the election results.

Since arriving home, my optimism about John Kerry’s presidential hopes has diminished by the hour. I can’t believe the people of this fucking country are voting for George Bush. I really want to go off on a tangent but I don’t have the strength right now. President Bush has shown beyond all reasonable doubt that he is not a trustworthy leader of the people. He had always failed in every endeavor prior to obtaining the Presidency and continues to drive the country and the world into dire straits. Shame on our country for allowing such a travesty if the current electoral count holds up to result in a victory for Bush. The country will be mired in partisan bickering for 4 more years. 4 more years of a growing deficit and failing economy, 4 more years or international infamy, 4 more years of being misled and lied to. 4 more years if we’re lucky to make it that long. Goodnight, and I hope things are different tomorrow but I’m not too optimistic. Way to end on a bright note.


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