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Archive for July 20th, 2004


Posted by evankessler on July 20, 2004

After further listening, I feel as though I may have misinterpreted that Leona Naess song I wrote about last night. I’m not totally sure but I listened to it again. Anyway, this just goes to show you the danger of misinterpreting a song to your own situation or liking. I guess I should’ve learned my lesson the time I listened to Limp Bizkit’s “Break Stuff” and ended up killing the four people I was in the room with.

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Posted by evankessler on July 20, 2004

It’s Monday Night. Rest was the order of the evening. Arby IM’d me at work at around 6:30 to try and get me to go out. Neither of us had any idea what we were going to do and he ended up asking me to convince him that we should go out. It was sort of backwards and I was sort of confused and not very motivated. I could’ve used a burger and he wanted to go to HiFi for his friend Bruce’s Monday party. We decided not to compromise and I went home. I think he ended up going to HiFi but I wasn’t really in the mood. I didn’t get much sleep on Sunday night for no apparent reason so I was a little tired. Not tired enough to avoid the gym however.

I sort of equate gym time with driving time. It’s just you and music, except when you’re driving your legs don’t have to move really fast at a consistent pace, but it’s the same in that you have that time where it’s seemingly just you and your thoughts. Now that I have these new Ipod headphones that do a kick ass job blocking out everything around me it truly does feel like me, music, and my thoughts. That’s sort of a for better or worse issue. Yes, I do enjoy my favorite music blasting at unhealthy levels into my ears, but I also have my thoughts blasting in my brain at the same volume. While I appear on the outside to be calm, composed, and often times stoned even though I’m not, this is when my neuroses sort of hit me. All the what ifs? How can that be’s? and If I had only just’s of the past few days to months sort of bombard me in my surround sound solitude.

It can go either way, though. Some days I revel in how glorious the day has been and how funny something was that happened at work. Or some times I just think about how great a song I’m listening to is and where it would go on a mix and what songs would surround it. Wow, I just realized how stupid this post was. The basic gist of it was, when I go to the gym I think of stuff as I’m running or something. Bravo me. I should get a medal for thinking. Do they give a prize for having everyday thoughts? If so, I could totally snag that one.

Anyway, as I was listening to my Ipod today at work two songs in particular struck me. The first one was The Streets “Don’t Mug Yourself”This track brings me back to Mid March which I think can be best summed up in Rich Burrier’s motto: “I’m just a dude at a bar, drinking” to which I respond “ok, but when am I not just a dude at a bar drinking”. Generally I find it offensive to think a song is about your exact situation though I have no trouble doing it myself but then again that’s sort of the main reason people like a certain song other than its poetry. As Idlewild says in their song “American English”:

Songs when they’re true are all dedicated to you,
and this invisible world i choose to live in.
And if you believe that then now i understand
why words mean so much to you:
’cause they’ll never be about you.

The second song was “Home” by Leona Naess which sort of just described the feeling of finding someone you like and liking the way they make you feel or at least that’s how I interpreted it. To be honest, just listening to this song was relaxing. If it was physically possible to feel like a song, its one that I would want to feel like. Hopefully I’m not completely misinterpreting it. The other day my friend was singing “Brick” by Ben Folds Five as if it were a cheery ditty and I felt it necessary to rain on her parade and tell her that that song was actually about abortion. Maybe that’s mean of me but I just find it completely unnecessary for people to be unknowingly cheerily humming about abortion. Call me a party pooper if you please.

Other good examples of songs I’d like to feel like are “Kate” by Ben Folds Five, “Say Yes” by Elliott Smith “She’s A Jar” by Wilco (minus the domestic violence) and “Remember The Mountain Bed” by Wilco. Okay, I think that’s enough.

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7/19/04 Guerrilla Interview Subject: Mike H

Posted by evankessler on July 20, 2004

Mike gives a half ass Macauley Culkin impression.

So here’s the skinny on Mike H. He’s an Associate Producer on VH1’s I Love The 90’s. He’s 24 years old and he’s a former College Basketball player who led his conference in scoring until he blew his knee out. Ok, so I made that last bit up. Mike is currently growing a mustache for no apparent reason other than he thinks its funny and depending on who you talk to, to guarantee that he doesn’t get laid. Other than that he’s a swell guy. Just a little fair warning on this interview, some of the material may not be suitable for the fragile mind. I have to admit though, it is not one of my best interviews, not because of the interviewee. I sort of started the interview then realized I wasn’t in the mood to do an interview but then sort of kept at it. And I never got to ask the pivotal questions of how evankessler.com had changed the subject’s life. Oh well, que ser sera. So without further ado, the evankessler.com interview of Mike Haigh.

Evan Kessler: Penny for your thoughts?

Mike H: babies taste delicious

EK: So when did you first discover your cannibalistic tendencies?

MH: when i used to suck my thumb as a baby, the taste never really left my mouth, even as i grew older..

MH: mmm baby

EK: I could see how that’s possible. I still pick my nose and eat it, but never really developed the taste for the nasal waste of others

MH: yeah, everybody loves the taste of their own brand, but there’s just something about a baby that isn’t related.

EK: Where do you hunt your prey?

on weekends i’m a NY certified daycare worker. It’s really much easier than you’d expect. I also lived in NJ for a while and was a foster parent, they have a very lax foster parenting department.

EK: Is there always room for Jell-O?

MH: don’t you know it! unless you do your shopping with one of those carry around baskets, and the jello is the last thing you go for, and you’ve already picked up a lot of stuff. Then there isn’t usually enough room for Jello-O.

MH: boxes are bulky

EK: Wouldn’t that contradict the slogan though?

MH: ah, i see you’re thinking outside the box. way to go. Don’t be fooled by Madison Avenue

EK: I just spilled water on my pants how do you think that will effect me in the coming minutes?

MH: you may feel damp and uncomfortable for a short period of time. But will pass, and you’ll be back to being your dry and uncomfortable self

MH: but that’s why i tolerate you. you’re dry like the sahara

EK: I’m sort of hoping I don’t get ridiculed for urinating on myself. I heard you still wet the bed constantly, is this true?

MH: Ah, i see you’ve been talking to Stacey. Don’t ever trust stacey with secrets that might ruin your street cred.

MH: let’s just say i really like the feel of rubber sheets

EK: Stacey who?

MH: a girl i know

MH: you’ve probably met her.

EK: oh, i thought you were referring to #81 Stacey Robinson former Wide Receiver for the New York Giants

MH: i don’t follow soccer. sorry.

EK: What’s your favorite Air Supply song?

MH: i don’t believe in Air Supply. Actually i can’t think of any their songs right now

EK: They’re the same as Chicago, What’s your favorite Chicago song?

MH: the one about the hotel in california that the Eagles sing

EK: This interview is falling flat, pretend you’re jesus and resurrect it.

i’m drinking Crunk right now. it’s really good. and i don’t use the word really often

EK: I’m sensing this is a fraudulent interview

(It was at this point that I thought Mike was having someone else answer my questions, but I was soon proven wrong and rescinded the accusation).

MH: i can turn the vowels “a” and “i” into wine and bread. You bring the cheese and we’ll have a Viva la France party

EK: strike that last remark

MH: http://www.evankessler.com is the premier blogspot on the internet. and you can take that to the bank!

EK: You’ve got that right.

MH: i spelled premiere wrong though didn’t I

EK: Back to the word crunk, what other words should be used more often?

EK: My vote is for Bangladesh

MH: mustache, inebriated, mozzarepa, zing, buffoon, baboon, and the spanish word for pencil sharpener – sacapunta

EK: If we could sort of work that into a verb

EK: Okay, here’s a fun game, I’m going to say something in spanish, you give me your first response, ready?


EK: Estoy Sorprendido!

MH: I am a serpent!

EK: You could be

EK: I can’t see you

MH: if I tried hard enough

EK: I’m bored

MH: dance a jig

MH: I always find that makes me less bored

EK: I think I’m just going to pour the rest of the water on my pants and call it a day

MH: or if we were in the world of nintendo dancing a jig would make you wa-bored

MH: sounds like a plan

MH: just like wario is the opposite of mario, wa-bored is the opposite of bored

EK: Thank you for participating in the http://www.evankessler.com where the unsuspecting start suspecting early on that they are in fact being interviewed

i love you

EK: I’m not so crazy about you but I’ll return the sentiment anyway

EK: I Love You more!!!

i’m blushing and my pants just got really tight

EK: Good day sir.

MH: good day to you

EK: That was so-so. I may or may not use it.

MH: you better. it was gold


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