Evan Kessler Dot Com

The Home of the Brave

1st Grade Injustice

Posted by evankessler on June 9, 2004

It has just become apparent to me that I do my clearest thinking in the shower. I don’t even mean to do it. It just sort of pops up and my brain starts working overtime. So god forbid anyone ever gets in the shower with me, you could probably have one hell of a conversation.

That being said, you may be thinking, how many things can you think about during 5-10 minute period it takes to shower. It may surprise you but, plenty. It’s all part of being a professional zoner outer.

This particular morning I was focused on a particular Friendster message I received this weekend. It was from the 1st girl I ever had a crush on in 1st grade. Not that she knows this but she may now. The funniest thing about the email was its title. “Mrs. H***’s Rules of the Rug”. I bleeped out the name to protect my first grade teacher although I’m not sure this is necessary. The reason this is funny is because I was talking about this very topic a couple of weeks ago.

In 1st grade, I was elected Class President and my only real presidential duty was to “keep the Haitian kids on the rug during indoor recess.” Let that sink in for a few seconds.

Wow. Now you can think…”How racist is this country?” It’s not like I was such a willing participant, but when you’re 6-years old and your teacher tells you that it’s your job as the President of her class to “keep the Haitians on the rug,” you sort of dutifully accept because you don’t really know any better.

This was the worst job in the world and my Vice President Mikey never helped me. Kids don’t want to be told to stay on a rug during recess, especially by a little white kid who can’t even speak your language. I was hoping some greater responsibility and purpose would eventually come from being President, but I was to be sorely disappointed. However, I’m still extremely disturbed that this was somewhat socially acceptable at any time. I know prior to the civil rights movement this may have seemed normal but this was 1985.

Anyway, time to go to work. Maybe I will expand on this later. Shower time is thinking time but I may expand on this later because I feel like there’s more to be discussed.


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