On the heels of my Thursday evening post, I regret to inform my friends, family, and loyal readers that my in-flight pickup lines par excellence failed to conquer the comic behemoths at FunnyorDie.com and the sky savvy souls at Southwest Airlines. It seems that my wonderfully witty and somewhat sleazy pickup lines were not deemed as good as two others. The winning lines read as follows:
1: “roses are red, violets are blue, I’m in Group A, can I sit next to you?”
2: “Girl, why you be waiting in boarding group B like that? I thought angels knew how to fly.”
While I like #2, my ego will not allow me to concede that either of these are better than my best effort…which was arguably the “Snakes on A Plane” one.
I made my disapproval known by posting a Twitter comment aimed at both Funny or Die and Southwest Airlines. My displeasure did prompt a response from the Southwest Airlines representative who assured me that he/she “really did like the ‘snakes on the plane’ reference!” and then offered to send me up some runner up swag if I were to send them a video of me actually using that line on a member of the opposite sex. However, due to the fact that I am nobody’s monkey, and I was only in this thing to be the best, not for some measly swag in the form of a t-shirt, I declined the offer.
Plus, it wouldn’t make much sense to use an in-flight pickup line with a specific plane reference in a bar…unless of course it was Flight 151 in Chelsea or Idlewild on the Lower East Side.
Que Sera Sera.