Well, My Mom Sent Me A Valentine

Actually, she didn’t send me a Valentine, she actually covertly stuffed a box of chocolate covered pretzels in my carry on bag before we left Florida. So if you were a betting man or woman and had to bet on whether or not my Valentine’s Day was eventful on the Romance front, you’d best be placing your money on the fact that it was not. Don’t cry for me though because I didn’t cry. I kept myself busy. In the afternoon I had a meeting about writing a treatment for a show that the production company that isn’t paying me is trying to pitch. I would say that meeting went rather well though and I actually began to write the treatment in a mini-notepad as I walked home. It still needs some work though.

The rest of my Valentines Day afternoon was spent downloading albums on itunes. I think I downloaded a total of 4. I was going to buy them at tower records but the Itunes total came to about one-third of what the in store total would have been. Not that I am completely converted to buying albums online, I still like owning compact discs if only they could find a way to make owning the physical entity a tad bit cheaper. I put this task to you Music Industry. Now get to it! Anyway, my itunes is much richer in music now with albums by Death Cab for Cutie, Ryan Adams, Beth Orton, and Wilco. There is nothing better then getting new music, and I almost overdosed on my need to compile more and more sonic fulfillment but held back on buying a Bright Eyes album and Townes Van Zandt album. It’s so easy when it’s all at your fingertips. I could even be downloading them while I’m typing this. Technology is a blessing but it tends to put a greater strain on one’s wallet by making spending so convenient.

The evening of Valentine’s Day was not spent watching the salt water from my eyes drip into a pint of lager. Quite the contrary, it was a night to party with other single people and enjoy several alcoholic beverages with friends. Betsy Van Stone and Noelle Stehman threw a party for their single friends at a bar called The Black Door on W. 26th Street that began at 7pm. I arrived fashionably late at 7:30pm and spent the majority of my evening conversing with Betsy, Noelle, Brandi, Anna, Jess S, Adam Starling, Pete D and my roommate Matt Wood. I regrettably did not make any love connections to make Chuck Woollery or even Roger Lodge proud for that matter. I did however eat plenty of Candy hearts and drink my fill of $6 budweisers. The bartender had some sort of ESP because he seemed to instinctually know what everyone at the bar was about to order. He was tipped well because there was nary a moment when I actually had to even speak the words to order my drink. He took one look at me and a Budweiser appeared. It was magic. The night came to an end near 1AM I think. Maybe it was earlier. I really have no idea but I knew I had to call it a night at a reasonable hour because I did not want to oversleep my job interview I had the next morning.

This morning I woke up at around 7am nearly 2 hours before my alarm was to go off to nurse the slightest hangover. You know the kind where you feel a slight headache but know that if you don’t do something to nip it in the bud the end result could be much more painful. When I reawoke at 9am I was slightly panicked about my job interview. I knew it was for a production gig but I was really unsure what the vibe of the interview was going to be. Should I dress professionally and wear a suit? Should I wear something casual yet not so casual that I appeared to be my normal slobbish self. I heard my mother’s voice reverberating in my brain shouting, “Wear a suit…you’re going on an interview!” and then I heard Matt Wood’s voice saying, “dude don’t wear a suit for a production interview. You don’t want them to think you’re too square.” I took the advice of the latter, but before I did I called Kari McGee who got me the interview. She advised me that the latter was the better option.

I rolled up to a large, daunting office building on E.42nd St. and Lexington Avenue at around 11:15am but I felt like I was a little too early for my 11:30 interview so I read my book for 5 minutes outside and then headed upstairs to the 13th floor of the building. I’m not sure but this may be the only building in the world willing to admit that it has a 13th floor undeterred by superstition. Damn the naysayers. To be honest I like a company with the balls to be located on the 13th floor. Who do all of those other buildings think they’re fooling? If a building has a 12th and a 14th floor but no 13th floor that building is just living a lie. Rest assured if anything bad ever happens on the 14th floor of a building with no 13 the superstition of unlucky 13 is probably brought up. People would probably say, “well it may say 14, but it’s the 13th floor, that’s why all of those nuns caught on fire.” Wow, I don’t know where I just veered but it was in a completely different direction. Anyway, I had one of those interviews where you have no idea whether it went well or not. The interviewer talked a lot and I listened and I was genuinely interested and the job sounded like something I would excel at I just got absolutely no read on how it was going and then just like that it was over and I was back outside walking towards the subway. Cross your fingers and wish me luck. I’ll know the outcome by next Friday but until then the job hunt remains open ended.

A potential crisis occurred on the way back downtown. As I descended the stairs to the Downtown F train at the Bryant Park station I reached into my pocket to check my phone for the time. Upon removing my lifeline to the outside world form my jacket I fumbled with the device ultimately sending it floating in slow motion down to the subway platform some 10 or so feet below as I dramatically shouted “Noooooooooooooo!” The phone bounced once placing it a mere 8 inches from the edge of the subway platform. I ran down to recover my phone before some distrustful undesirable came to covet my valuable material yet practical possession. When I retrieved it the back cover was a bit banged up but it seemed to work just fine. I breathed a sigh of relief and all was good with the world. Such is my dependence on technology. Without my cellular phone my balls would really be in a vice grip. Luckily that was the only drama that would confront me the rest of my day. Tomorrow brings with it a possible lunch activity and another career counseling session, but will it be interesting enough to write about? Stay tuned.

Taking Care of Grandpa’s Business

I believe when I last left you (on the emergency blogs) I was sitting at the computer in my stepfather’s Boca Raton (mouth rat?) apartment as I anticipated a Friday morning softball game between Purdue and another University on the Florida Atlantic Campus. So let’s take it from there shall we? On Friday morning I awakened at 7:30am (an abnormal wakeup time for a vacation though to be fair when have I not been on vacation in the past several months) ate a banana, took a shower, and jumped in a car with Irwin, and my Aunt Melanie and headed over to the Softball field at FAU to see my cousin Erika catch for the Purdue Boilermakers Softball team.

We made it to the game just before 9am, in time for the star spangled banner. There were a whole bunch of Purdue Moms in the stands and a small South Carolina contingent representing their opponents. I have to admit it was a pretty exciting game but unfortunately Purdue lost either 1 or 2 to nothing but my cousin hit a monster double. Purdue’s next game in the tournament was at 1pm against East Carolina but we couldn’t stay because we had to take my Grandfather shopping for new sneakers. My aunt had warned me that seemingly simple tasks usually take all day on account of the swiftness with which my grandfather and most old people move. She also said that we’d be lucky to get more than one thing done. Lucky for us, we finished two things.

First, we went to the bank to look through the safe deposit box. This particular section of the bank seemed to have minimal security. It was almost as if they were begging for people to alert their criminal friends as to the simplicity of pulling of a heist at this particualr Wachovia branch. The next stop was a Big K-Mart where we spent an hour and a half trying to convince my Grandfather that he needs Velcro shoes since he can barely bend down anymore.

Our shoe adventure then turned into dinner, as Melanie, Grandpa Dave, and I went to pick up Erika at her team’s hotel to meet Irwin for his birthday dinner at a family style Italian restaurant. Irwin was hoping that we would order from the family style menu so he could have a week’s worth of food in his refrigerator but instead we each at our own individual meal and Irwin was mighty disappointed. After dinner, Melanie and I drove Erika to her hotel and my grandfather back to his assisted living community, Hamilton House and Irwin went to pick up my mom at the airport.

Saturday was more of the same in the morning. Early wakeup again and another Early softball game. This time Purdue beat Bethune-Cookman 3-1(?) and again we didn’t stick around for game 2. We took off and got lunch and I went for a swim at Irwin’s apartment complex and afterwards we had more Grandfatherly needs to attend to. We went his apartment that had been destroyed by Hurricane Rita and went through what was left of the apartment. When we determined that there was very little that hadn’t been put in storage we headed towards his new apartment that my mother had rented because of my Grandpa’s refusal to live any longer in assisted living. He moves in on March 1st but we had to make sure it was suitable for him. We then went back to the Hamilton house to retrieve the senior member of my family for some dinner but he decided he didn’t want to go. Dinner ended up being my mom, Irwin, Melanie, Erika, and myself. We ate at a Greek Restauant in Boca that was actually pretty decent.

Can you guess what I did Sunday? You probably can. The schedule was a little different though and the weather was a bit colder. In fact the temperature was in the mid fifties. We watched the 2-2 Purdue Boilermakers fall behind 3-0 to the FAU Owls when we decided it was time to go through my Grandfather’s storage space. We later found out that Purdue won 4-3 and that my cousin Erika hit a home run in the last inning. Sweet. Anyway, we went through my Grandpa’s old things and came across many interesting things including old pictures and documents from World War II including secret documents about the plan of attack in France. We also found my Grandmother’s Junior High Autograph book and my aunt found a Gun. She decided that she wanted to take the gun home because it was “interesting”. Whenever she was holding the gun I stood as far away as possible. I don’t know the stats on handgun accidents but I know it is probably not a good idea to stand near my and when she is curiously investigating a 35 year old gun. Later, my aunt would inquire as to the origins of said gun to which my grandfather alerted her to put it back as she is not licensed to own that gun. She was going to try to put in a bag she was checking. We all knew this was a bad idea though. That gun is now in the trunk of my Grandfather’s car as he insists he can bring it to a pawn shop and get $500. Anyway, the cleaning of the storage space took all day and completely obliterated our final day.

We all had to wake up at 6am this morning and prayed that the snow in New York would not hinder our flights. Luckily for us it did not and I was back in my apartment by 3:15pm. I realize this was not the most exciting post but it wasn’t exactly the most exciting weekend. On the positive side I got to see my family and got out of New York City for a couple of weeks. Oh yeah, and also, Evankessler.com is back on track. Though I may still post this on the emergency blogs.

My Mind Has Been Blown & Floridia Part 1

(POSTED FROM MYSPACE BLOG)

Thursday, February 09, 2006

My mind has been blown & Floridia Part 1 Current mood: full Category: Blogging So I got a strange email the other day from a woman who attended Camp Westmont at the same time I did though she was between 6 to 8 years older than me. Apparently she was doing a search for Camp Westmont and came across my blog (on www.evankessler.com) and saw the comment I made in reference to this Monday’s episode of Wife Swap in which a Jewess switched places with a conservative Christian Woman. Turns out that Jewess actually was a fellow camper at Camp Westmont though I am not sure how long her tenure lasted. Me, I was there from the summer of 1987 until the summer of 1996. What do I have left to show for it? I’m not really sure. I’m still occasionally friends with a couple of people I met there. None of that is really important right now, I just thought I would share that mini story. I find it amusing because it proves to me that my website is actually searchable on web engines and I get a modest delight in knowing that. Now that you know what makes me feel delighted I can tell you all that I am currently typing this from my Stepdad’s laptop in Boca Raton, Florida. It was a long journey involving 2 A-trains, the air train to JFK and poor check in instructions from a baggage ticketer, but I made it to gate 27 of Terminal 2 just in time to board Song flight 2018. I was seated at seat 26D and was soon joined by a larger young woman with curly hair and a Brooklyn accent who went on to tell me that I looked very familiar. She followed up by inquiring if I had a brother, which I affirmed. The following inquiry was whether my brother’s name was Spanky or Charlie. Now, I don’t refer to my brother as Spanky or Charlie, nor I can not say for certain that he doesn’t ever go by those names but I had to let my rowmate no that to the best of my knowledge that I am neither Spanky nor Charlie’s sibling. This was the last we spoke save for the occasional excuse me and thank you in reference to making space for exit on several bathroom ventures. I had brought plenty of means of entertaining myself on the flight. I figured I could read at least half of Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying and listen to some tunes on my trusty Ipod. However, this plan was rendered moot when I the flight attendant announced features as in flight competitive trivia and up to 16,000 free songs available on the video screen. My first step towards keeping myself entertained was to select several CD’s to be played straight through the flight and then I joined in the interactive trivia contest with everyone on the plane who felt so inclined to do so and boy are they ever sorry that they felt so inclined. I played in 5 consecutive 20 question trivia matches, coming in 1st place each time. I consistently edged out the guy sitting one row in back of me and I think everyone was getting a little pissed. On my way back from the bathroom during the game I took off I was questioned by a boyfriend and girlfriend duo who asked if I actually knew all of the questions or if I had played this version before. They were disappointed and somewhat amazed when they found out that I had never partaken in this particular trivia. By the time the next trivia match rolled around, I was ready to partake but found that most of the participants had bailed out. I somehow managed to make trivia unfun for an entire plane full of people. This will be remembered as my one crowning achievement on this earth and I am proud. Wait until the ride back. Anyway, the rest of my evening was spent strolling on Delray Beach with my stepdad and getting dinner at an English Pub-like restaurant and having the inevitable job talk that I seem to be having with a different adult every day. I ate a steak and english stilton cheese pie and had a boddington at the restaurant and picked up the tab for my Stepdad’s birthday. I am extremely full. The downside is I’m already bored and have no idea what I can really do to pass the time for the next few days. Though tomorrow I suppose I will be going to see my cousin play in her college softball tournament. She is the starting catcher for Purdue. Go Boilermakers! Let’s take this thing one day at a time.

Wining and Dining

(PASTED FROM MYSPACE BLOG)

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Wining and Dining Current mood: indifferent Category: Blogging I’m not used to blogging in this myspace thing. I miss my evankessler.com crude microsoft word format. Despite my reluctance to blog on here, I suppose I will press on. It will only be a few days until I have my lovely Powerbook G4 back. I brought it into Tekserve yesterday to get it repaired since I dropped a shelf on it a few months ago and have been waiting for the perfect time to get it fixed. That perfect time was yesterday since I am going to Florida tomorrow for some family stuff and to get out of the city. I figured by the time I got back my laptop would be out of the shop and good as new again for the low, low repair cost of $355. Ouch! That hurt more than my trip to the dentist yesterday. Though my mouth was numb for about two hours after the dentist and when I tried to eat afterwards I couldn’t feel what pipe the food was going down, so it probably was a dumb thing to do. Anyway, despite being without my lovely mac, I miss ITunes more than anything. Luckily I can plug my Ipod into my stereo but it’s just not the same. I feel like I should write a haiku about my computer. Here it goes: Powerbook G 4 You are the light of my life The light has gone dark. That’s the best I could do on short notice. Anyway, aside from that yesterday was eventful for other reasons. I had a phone interview ith a career counselor (at 9am, damn!) for the 2nd time in 2 weeks, but its free so I’m taking advantage, I’m not really srue how much it is helping but its interesting to learn that my personality type could just as well be an accountant as much as creative writer. Seems a little fishy if you ask me. I’m not sure if I’m buying into it. I’m also not sure if it’s getting me any closer to figuring out what my career goal should be. Perhaps, I should write a novel or do somebody’s taxes and then I’ll have my answer. Not that I’m really trained for either of those. Later on yesterday afternoon, say 4:30pm I received a call from the Adam Starling. He called to tell me that Betsy, Maureen, Anna, and himself were drinking wine at the Vintage Wine Bar on Broome St. After waiting for my landlord’s son to come by and take a look at our stove, I ventured out to meet them. The Vintage wine bar is a wonderful place. You can sample wines for $1 a glass. For the next hour and a half or so the bunch of us sat there sampling various wines. I had 5 different samples. I think everyone did actually. Well actually Betsy had 17 but that was because she was there the longest and though that makes her sound like a drunken lush, I need to point out that 17 of these samplings is the equivalent of about 3 and a half glasses of wine, so it’s not really bad in the least. Afterwards, Maureen, Betsy, Adam, and I headed to Milady’s where we were later met by Noelle for some dinner, drinks, and discussion. I think I was completely out of it at this point but all in all it was still an excellent time. It was better than my original plan for the day which was just going to the gym after coming back from the repair shop. Okay, this is where this entry ends. Though I have to point something out. Marty said I should post my blogs on myspace or friendster so people could respond and participate more so than on my website but it hasn’t happened yet and I’m slightly skeptical that it will. I know it’s only been two days but so far, no dice.

Hiatus

The powerbook is going into the shop. Evankessler.com is going on a slight hiatus but that does not mean I will not be blogging. You can catch up with me at my myspace blog or perhaps my emergency blog on friendster. Don’t miss out on your chance to leave exciting comments on all of the exciting things I say. Peace be upon you.

Bye Bye Football

…And bye bye Jerome Bettis, you have played your last professional football game and come out as a World Champion. Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers for defeating the Seattle Seahawks 21-10 in what was certainly one of the most uneventful Super Bowls of all time. The game may have been a lot closer if the referees reversed the touchdown by Ben Roethlisberger and made the correct ruling that he did not break the plane of the goal line, but what can you do? The play stood and in the end the Steelers were victorious. They probably would have scored on the next play anyway. Football oh football ye will be missed. However, I will not have much time to digest the events of this past NFL season as I will begin to concentrate on the impending offseason maneuvers that my beloved New York Giants will no doubt be making. Free agency starts in the beginning of March and Arby and I will no doubt be attending the NFL Draft at Madison Square Garden in April. Until then, I have no reason to stay inside and waste away on Sundays unless of course there is rain or snow in the forecast. From now until I get a new job Sunday will now be just like any other day of the week. I miss my special Sundays already.

Alright, now that I have said my teary temporary goodbye to the premier sport in all of the lands, I can dry my eyes and go full speed ahead with the rest of this post. It may not be easy, I might have to fight back some sobs but rest assured the weekend will be recapped. Shall we begin with Friday evening then? Don’t answer that it’s rhetorical. Prior to Friday evening I had had two beers all week. My week beer total would increase exponentially by the end of the night. I went to Brooklyn for the umpteenth weekend in a row, this time to meet up with Arby for some drinks. However, before we made it out we watched a news special on sexual predators being arrested en masse as they were unsuspectingly set up by Dateline or whatever newsmagazine show was doing the sting operation. The sexual predators would walk in through an open sliding door in a house and be sort of ambushed by the news anchor who would then commence grilling them as to why they were coming to meet a 13 year old girl or 13 year old boy for sex. Said anchor would then read back transcripts of the IM or chat room conversation in which the meeting was arranged. I was amazed that all of the “sexual predators” would sit and have this conversation with the reporter and not just try to escape the awkward situation. Even if they did they would get arrested as the cops were just waiting for them to leave but I was astonished that nobody fled the scene or just went nuts on newsguy.

Anyway, back to the fun festivities of Friday. After we watched the riveting report on Sexual Predators, Rich and I headed towards 5th avenue to hit the bars. Before we could make it to 5th avenue my phone rang as I was on the corner of 7th avenue and President Street. It was best friend Maureen H and she was about a half block away from me though neither of us were in plain sight of each other. We caught up with each other and Rich and I followed her into key foods while she searched for some Tecate to bring to a party where she was headed. Meanwhile, I was trying to make Rich laugh by joking that we should make a movie called “Sexual Alien vs. Sexual Predator”. It did not garner many laughs but it makes me laugh so there is always that. Rich and I split off with Maureen at 5th avenue and the first bar we hit was Gates and then Loki Lounge. After one beer at Loki we settled into our final drinking spot at The Lighthouse on 5th and Carroll. We downed many a Budweiser at this particular watering hole and were eventually joined by Janet Turley and Maureen coming from separate gatherings. We drank the night away and Maureen and I had a good heart to heart friend talk. I think I have been way to existentially- oriented lately . I hope I am not becoming Mr. No Fun To Be Around as a result. As long as I am around my friends I manage to crack a smile every once in awhile. I’m not sure when the evening ended but I took a cab home from Brooklyn which was not really what I wanted to do. Given my drunken state it was probably the smart thing to do despite the strain it put on my wallet.

Saturday was all about recovery. I managed to find enough on television to keep me occupied before my evening plans were to take effect. My friend Stacey from the Syracuse days was having a birthday party at the Brass Monkey in the Meat Packing district. A word to the wise: Do not go to any bars in the meat packing district no matter how much someone says that the bar you are going to is not like all of those other places in the area. Actually, you can go to The Hog Pit on a weekday. That is allowed. When I arrived at the Brass Monkey I just thought, “what the hell am I doing here?” The music was blaring, I could not hear a damn thing and I could tell it was going to be way too crowded. I finally found Stacey after about five minutes of searching the entire cavernous interior. The rest of my evening was spent shouting casual conversation over the obnoxiously loud music and being bumped into by an array of douchebags and douchettes who had no concept of other people’s personal space. Stacey left the bar after her 4th drink as she was feeling tipsy and I was left with her friends whom despite being complete strangers, were cool to hang with. I should have left when Stacey left because I really had no reason to stay after that but instead I ended up going with her friends to Pastis for a drink or two. My evening ended close to 3am, which was not the original plan. There were about 5 times between 11:30pm and 3am where it would have been perfectly acceptable to leave and I would have saved a decent amount of money that could be better spent on providing myself with necessary food and shelter during this my unemployed stint. Oh well, hindsight would be better if it were foresight.

Not sure if I have to get into the events of Sunday. I just watched the game at Marty (rhymes with party), Jason, and Rob’s apartment in the Slope. It was a friendly gathering and really I was excited that someone in the room (Josh) was actually a fan of one of the teams. It is much more exciting when someone in the rooms happiness is riding on the game. Anyway, it was good food with good people. Good times. Good weekend.

Just My Luck

You would not want to switch places with me this past week if your life depended on it. Okay well maybe you would but I don’t see any logic to support that reasoning. With each passing day my life seems to be getting exceedingly worse. I apply for jobs and never hear back, my unemployment recently ran out and due to a miscommunication with the woman from the Newhouse Career Services office I missed my career counseling appointment on Monday. Nothing seems to be going right. My days have been spent browsing through classified ads and online postings for jobs, the majority of which, I am not qualified for nor am interested in. Every day the walls seem to close in a little more. Not only that but my apartment building is for sale and I may be forced out in a matter of months. That would not be the worst of things as I have been aching to move for quite some time now.

I just read over this past paragraph and maybe I am being just a tad bit overdramatic but my point is that I am not a happy camper and I really have no idea how to turn things around. My misfortune seems to be spreading to arenas outside of housing and employment as of late. On Wednesday Afternoon I was excited at the prospect of getting a haircut and a nice relaxing temple massage from the girl who would be washing my hair. However, when I arrived at Hair Mates on 3rd avenue for my 3:15 appointment the only hair washer was a guy named Michael and lets just say he did not have the touch that the previous hair washers had. I was used to a soothing, press along the boundaries of my forehead stretching to my temples which were then firmly kneaded with delitcate fingers sending a waterfall of relaxation through my body that amounts to almost an erotic experience. Instead, my head felt like it was being pressed into one of those old fashioned orange juicers until all of my grey matter as well as the shampoo and conditioner that had penetrated my scalp was exorcised. It was the opposite experience than what I was longing for and I felt utterly duped, like I was Superman going to meet Lois Lane and when I got there she pulled of her mask to reveal that she was in fact Lex Luthor. I know that is kind of a crappy metaphor but that was the best I could come up with on such short notice. These posts are not prepared beforehand.

Today (or what was Thursday), I took another break from the job search, not that I completely blew it off. I applied to several jobs that I will not hear back from. I decided that after lunch I would head out to the Angelika to go see a movie, as this would undoubtedly put me in a better mood. Perhaps I should do this every day and I could stay rather jolly. Well, maybe I haven’t really drunk too much this week and that could be keeping my mood dour. Having alcohol dependency is not admirable I suppose. I need to hang out with some friends and alcohol. Now, I have veered off topic. Where was I? I went to the movies today and took in a showing of Tristram Shandy: A Cock & Bull Story. I have to say I quite liked it. It is basically a film about trying to make a movie about a novel that is said to be unfilmable and for the most part it is. Very little of the film is actually spent on the plot of the classic novel and more so the chaos of the actual filming which is very enjoyable and Steve Coogan gives a wonderful performance as himself, Tristram Shandy, and Tristram Shandy’s father. Kelly Macdonald (Ewan Macgregor’s underaged girlfriend in Trainspotting) plays Coogan’s girlfriend and has one of my all time favorite accents. Anyway, it was a good movie and I recommend it if you want to have a good laugh while watching a 4 year-old get his penis stuck in a window. This is not a spoiler it is a very small part at the beginning of the film, which caught me pretty off guard. Okay, I think that should suffice for tonight. Otherwise I will just ramble some more.

Also, I’m thinking about leaving the poll question up another month because nobody ever fucking answers it.